I started to head up to my sewing studio when he left, goodness knows I have plenty of work to do myself. Instead I took a bit of time, time to savor my cup of "coffee" (it's mushroom, but I still call it coffee) and be still. I'd woken up and spent some time in prayer, and shortly after had felt this huge sense of foreboding or gloom. It felt heavy and dark. To shake it off, I played with my pups for a moment and got cleaned up to start the day. The mood is still lingering at the edges of my spirit, nagging at me.
I'm sure a bit of it is melancholy, so many folks are sick or passing away it seems surreal. Heck it is surreal. A good friend of Hubs passed away about two weeks ago, one of the last messages he posted on Facebook was telling everyone how much he loved them, it was absolutely beautiful and keeps bouncing into my thoughts.
It feels like every day we are finding out that another friend or family member has a medical issue or battle they are fighting with their health. And it isn't just health. Folks are struggling hard with basic life. I feel anger rolling off of folks and not for things that should matter. For those little things, the minutia in life. And it scares me to think that people are losing the basic skills for being human.
Just be silent and watch. Folks are full of rage, they are becoming more and more aggressive and lost. Basically mean to one another simply for the sake of being mean. I don't know if it is a reaction to feeling like you are completely unable to control anything or feeling overwhelmed by it all. It just feels like watching the world becoming 100% self-absorbed. The causes and issues that matter to each person are literally the only causes and issues that matter.
I cannot be the only person questioning where empathy and compassion have gone. Just because you don't agree with someone, or you don't have the same issues affecting your life doesn't mean that you can't feel and understand another person's struggles or battles. What in the world is going on?
From neighbor to neighbor on the minor scale, to global issues that are literally mind boggling. Where is the compassion? Where is the understanding, heck I'd settle for an attempt at understanding and trying to find the middle ground.
Trust me I am not perfect. Not by a very long shot, as I was telling a lady yesterday most people like my Hubs far more than they like me. I am not the easiest person to get to know and once you have I readily admit that I am not the greatest person to have as a friend. I like being alone, I get wrapped up in my own world and life and forget that there are people waiting for responses from me or that I forget to check in on. It isn't that I don't care, it's that I am easily distracted and rarely remember to return to the place I was mentally and sometimes physically.
Yet as my day was starting like a shotgun blast, I paused for a moment after putting eggs on to boil and listened while Hubs updated me on yet another person having a medical emergency, someone important to him. As I ran upstairs to ask him a question about his breakfast, I overheard him on the phone with another friend, asking that friend to please join him at the hospital later that day to pray over their friend, to offer healing and grace all before 615 in the morning. I was so thankful for the Godly man I am married to, because his first thought wasn't about the impact to him personally, it was about how to intercede for another human.
Such a switch from another scenario I know of. Where another human is struggling with some major life and health changes, trying to work through those bits and pieces of their puzzle, trying to process and put things back in an order that works. Instead of the grief they are dealing with from a self-centered jerk of a boss. Instead of sticking out a hand of support, of human kindness and respect, that person evidently delights in kicking someone that is down and making things harder. Why do people have to be that way? Does it make them feel powerful? In my opinion it makes them small and petty.
It isn't even just about health issues. People are being so unforgiving and refusing to show mercy or grace to anyone. I don't know about you, but I don't know any perfect people. I know a bunch of seriously flawed people all trying to live a good life and doing the best they know how. I'm kind of tired of people being so wrapped up in their own issues that they feel it makes it okay to trample on others feelings and hearts. I sure see of a lot of that anymore. I'm tired of watching the "ouch you hurt my feelings and that is all that matters, now you get to pay for that for the rest of your life" show. It's old and childish.
I'm weary of it. Very weary. How about instead of thinking we are the center of the universe, we step outside ourselves. Instead of shutting out people that we perceive to have slighted or harmed us, we talk to them. It's amazing what we find out and heal when we are willing to admit that maybe we aren't always right. Instead folks simply just mock, ridicule, belittle or take pot shots. The art of talking it out, of seeing both sides of things and realizing that your point of view on life isn't wrong, it's different. And that is really okay, we don't have to agree about everything, we don't have to see eye to eye. We simply need to step into the world filled with love and compassion. Acceptance. We also do not need for force everyone to see things our way or not at all. Again acceptance. I can love you and not agree with you. It isn't mine to sort out.
Our differences are not greater than our ability to love, our ability to lift one another up and meet each other where we need to be met.
Can you imagine the power of humanity if we could simply love?
I'm not seeing that sadly. I'm seeing a battle of good vs. evil on a very spiritual level and frankly I feel like we are going through a very dark period. Thankfully, I know that God and good win, I know in my heart that this is for a very short season in a very massive expanse of time.
If you are a praying person, please pray it up for humanity. If you have a different belief, then I ask however you honor that sentiment, will you please do so. And then I ask you to look around, take a seriously deep breath and ask yourself how can I make a positive difference today? It might be something as small as picking up a piece of litter on the ground, it might be inadvertently doing something kind that changes another persons entire will to live - without you ever knowing it.
Yes we are our brother's keepers. And as someone with 3 younger sisters, I know that there are many times we have not seen eye to eye, we have not and will not ever agree on everything, but I also know that all any of us needs to do is reach out to one another and we will circle the wagons and protect against all comers. Shouldn't we be willing to do that for everyone?
Ironically, I'm feeling that darkness at the edges dim. I guess I needed to write this blog, even though few read it, maybe it makes a difference somewhere, somehow.
Pray up folks. This battle that is raging is getting more intense daily.
love and prayers... b
