being first...

After a weekend of crazy storms, learning about new types of tornadoes, a touch of hail, and massive darkness, the sun is shining brightly.  All around I am listening to folks mowing and working on cleaning up their yards.  We were lucky and didn't really get too much damage so to speak.  A few dead branches fell, but that was pretty much the extent.  

Hubs had mowed our yard right before the storm rolled in. In fact he also mowed the neighbors, mainly because he was simply tired of looking at the almost knee high grass.  They are in the process of moving, not that that is a reason for not mowing, in fact the not mowing is pretty much normal.  Hubs doesn't always step in and do that, who am I kidding, he does it more often than not.  He is a giver, even if the gift is simply his time.  He will shovel walks in the winter, rake leaves in the fall, the only thing I am fairly positive I have never seen him do is weed flowerbeds.  He isn't that much of a giver. Shoot come to think of it, I can't really remember his ever weeding our garden beds, I think we have discovered a task that he does not like to do. 

It's been busy morning, as Monday's usually are, so I've spent some time in reflection while doing my chores.  Our pastor's message really got me to thinking.  Shoot, most of his messages do.  I feel that I have finally found a place I am supposed to be.  I am willingly finding myself joining into groups, giving of my time and energy without even being asked. I leave each gathering feeling like I have become part of something pure and fulfilling, can't say that has been my usual experience at a variety of different church homes. 

I am not sure what he intended for us to get out of his message.  Yet so much of it tied in with where my thoughts and energy have been flowing lately.  As he talked about faith and believing without seeing I found myself leaning forward on the edge of my seat.  This pastor is very animated and uses many of your senses to draw you into a place of understanding. 

Yesterday he talked about faith falls or trust falls (probably something most folks are familiar with).  As he asked if any of us had ever done them, I raised my hand.  I worked for a long time in the not for profit field, unlike for profit businesses they spend a great deal of time and energy on team building and such.  Oh yeah, I've done more than my share of trust falls.  

It was when he asked if we'd ever been dropped or dropped someone, that I sat for a moment, not brave enough to raise my hand.  What if I was the only person that had been dropped? Or hadn't been strong enough to help keep someone from falling to the ground?  I sat uncomfortably for a moment, remembering a time close about 17 or so years ago. I came into a new position, replacing a untrustworthy supervisor, leading a damaged team. My new boss felt having a team building day was going to be the perfect solution.  The leader of our experiment felt a trust fall would be a wonderful activity.  

One of the more damaged of the team members had a very different idea on the subject.  I had caught each of them, even the ones I wasn't sure I was strong enough to catch, I refused to allow myself to let any of them down.  As it became my turn, I felt a strong hesitancy, I wasn't sure it was a good decision. The team had been hurt badly by the previous leader and they frankly didn't know me at all. 

I can assure you moments before I hit the ground I heard the strongest voice in the group say, nope, I ain't catching her. I admit that for a few years that definitely tarnished our relationship.  We ultimately healed it and she ended up one of my favorite team members, but we definitely had a rocky start.  I was very thankful for the soft grass that I landed in. 

As I looked around the room yesterday, I finally raised my hand.  I wasn't alone, several other folks had also raised theirs. He went on to ask us if we trusted in the Lord with an unflinching passion.  When that soft voice told us what to do, where to go, or to simply have a leap of faith did we? Or do we stop every few moments and question?  

We are human.  Of course we question.  I have kept myself back from many opportunities and paths.  Simply out of fear, out of a lack of blind faith and trust. Anyone else? Surely I am not alone. There were other messages included, I admit to getting hung up on that particular part.  Am I brave enough to trust with wild abandon?  I am not sure if I am or not, what I am sure is that I am brave enough to work on it. 

The second part of the day included a welcome luncheon.  An opportunity for us to learn more about the church and the people.  I had already done a great deal of research so the meat of it wasn't really new information.  The part that stuck with me hard, yes God I was listening, was a simple two word phrase. 

Be First. 

How simple is that?  Be first.  As a natural introvert, I often find myself sitting in the corner and observing.  Happy to be on the outside and not making waves.  Shoot I have attended churches in the past where six months later I'm still being asked if it's my first visit, by folks that have been sitting in the same pew that I am in.  I don't tend to get too worked up about that, but often feel like I don't belong. 

I was joking with pastor afterwards and said I guess that message was for me.  It sure felt like it.  It felt like God was personally telling me I needed to be the first one to say hello and introduce myself.  That by doing so I would open doors and also my heart. 

Anyone else holding back waiting for someone else to make the first move?  

My mind has been fully engaged since the messages yesterday.  Do I have enough faith? Am I mature enough to be first?  I guess we will see... Definitely homework assignments were handed out - deep reflection and action are required. 

Well, I've spent too much time resting and writing this morning.  I have much to do and time vicious when you waste it! 

love and prayers...

against the odds...

Sunshine, hot cup of coffee and a busy morning.  Yep, life is GOOD!  It's only 8 am, the sun has been up for a bit, although it is just starting to be visible above the treeline. I hit the ground running again, trying to break that habit I had found myself drifting into. It feels good to start the day off strong.  I feel productive and vital.  

While watering my spring garden this morning I happened to spy a lilac on my little bush.  It's had such a hard life.  It's not planted in a good spot to begin with, I didn't plant the sweet thing, but its clinging to life on a rather steep and rocky hillside.  Last year we had the fence installed and I was definitely not sure it would survive, they dug a post hole right near it's roots. Yet there it was blooming for all the world to see.  It only has a single flower, just enough to say "don't give up on me".  As if I would.  

I can definitely empathize with my sweet little lilac bush.  I have had some challenges in my life, haven't we all.  I fully expect to be able to nurse it to full health one of the springs.  Just the fact that it bloomed a perfect bloom definitely proves it is a fighter. 

I was running through my to do list in my mind this morning while cutting Hub's hair.  He hasn't let anyone but me cut his hair for over 20 years now, I'd like to think it's because I do an amazing job.  Realistically, it probably has more to do with the fact that he can get it cut at 6 am in his jammies, while drinking his coffee.  But I digress.  That to do list is definitely hopping.  It seems everything I have on it is taking at least three times longer than I "proposed" that it would. 

Why did Mom have to get up early???

For example, yesterday I decided to take advantage of the early morning coolness to weed the front flower beds and plant the bulbs that I decided I needed (note to self... you need absolutely zero more bulbs).  I was sure I would have them long done before the warmth of the day hit.  I was loving those 50° temperatures and could have spent the entire day working out there if it had stayed that way.  

before

after...

By the time I had moved on to painting the front door frame and door, it was already pushing 80° and I was so very thankful for the strong breeze that was moving through the house. I'd painted our door navy blue over eight years ago when we moved in.  I did not like the muted blue that it was, it was dull and uninviting.  After all that time, I was weary of blue, I wanted a welcoming color. It is now a beautiful red (ironically the name of the color is "forbidden red"), and it looks so beautiful.  Now I need to order new bunting for the rails, the weather finally beat up the ones I had, and get some nice flowers for the planters that sit out front.  

I often forget that I had my knee replaced.  I've adapted to moving a bit differently, instead of simply dropping down to my knees to do a task.  I've learned to stand up from the ground, although it is awkward and I am sure I resemble some type of farm animal mimicking a human.  What I haven't learned to remember is that my leg still gets weary easily.  And some of the spots I managed to get myself into required a lot of thought to get myself out of. By mid-afternoon when I was finished with those few tasks, I was worn to the bone.  My legs were sore from the strange twists and turns that I now do to complete a task that previously I would have simply dropped to the ground to complete. Sometimes I simply forget. 

Yesterday, while taking a break a friend sent me a link.  As I read the words the person shared, I felt like I was reading the words of a kindred spirit.  He'd written his thoughts on what God is asking of us.  Yes, he asks for prayer and faithfulness.  But I have always felt that God wants us to be active, engaged participants in our lives.  Not the kind of folks that throw our hands in the air and mutter... well I prayed about it, my part is done. 

I mean he pointed out, quite honestly, that Noah had to build an ark, Abraham was asked to sacrifice his only son, David had to gather stones, the Israelite's had to walk around the walls of Jericho for seven days and then blow their shofars. These are just a few examples of what was asked.  

I truly feel that we are called to actively participate. As I read the article I felt renewed in my convictions.  I have much to do.  It is what my chosen lifestyle calls for.  Could I simply purchase things?  Of course, would it have the value that it does to me? Nope. 

I have chosen to be a homemaker.  In the purest sense of the word.  I take care of our homestead, do I wish it was a hobby farm out in the country, of course.  Will I utilize what I have here in the city?  Absolutely!

So this morning is filled with making red bud jelly, there is a large pot of chicken bone broth simmering on the stove, I will start another one after I process all of the jellies.  I will inventory the freezers, see what needs to be used or what is waiting to be canned and get busy with that.  It's the very start of canning season here.  

I will soon gather asparagus (we have eaten or shared all of the pickled asparagus we had).  The dandelions are in bloom and will need gathered for jellies and maybe even a dandelion wine this year (if I can find some nice fields to gather from).  

Tomorrow is our first trip of the season to the Amish market, God willing as their sign says. And I am excited to possibly get some young starter plants for my garden.  I was able to keep the green Amish pepper plant alive over the winter and as a result hope to get another one to add to the collection. 

Who knows.  So much that I want to do.  So much that I love to do.   God has blessed me with a wonderful life and opportunity, I am not about to squander that blessing by wasting the time and talents he's provided. I cannot ask for the gift of abundance and not be willing to work hard to receive it. 

This weekend we will visit the market, work on creating some flower beds, do a bit of planting, do some canning, help Hubs work on my quilt, do some sewing, visit with family, spend quality time with our new church and thanking God for the blessings that surround us.  

I love our life. I am thankful for all of the opportunities and the joy I find in it.  

Well, it's time to get back to work.  The jellies are waiting and I just remembered I need to fill the hummingbird feeders.  I think I saw an early arrival the other night. 

love and prayers...

what in the world...

Can we talk about intentionality? 

As the sun is peeking over the horizon this morning the topic has been heavy on my mind.  Since listening to Rory and Jess speak, it's basically all I have been thinking about.  I think intentionality, commitment and passion all tie together.  There are a few other things that fit in there nicely, but those are the ones that are seriously resonating with me right now. 

I got up fairly early, I usually do. Some mornings I grab my coffee, I sit in my chair and I simply sit.  I start the day off in a semi-vegetable state and then find myself stuck in that mindset for hours.  Other days, like today I jump right in.  Both feet hit the ground, my mind starts off saying not today Satan and I move into full busy mode.  

In both cases I firmly believe I set my own intentionality.  Did I linger too long on social media?  Did I find myself without ambition for the day and not really question why?  Or did I reflect on the things waiting for my attention and jump right in. Did I listen to the voice in my head encouraging me to do the things that make a difference?

Wednesday mornings usually mean little social time with Hubs in the morning.  He has a super early meeting and he is semi-obsessive about being super caught up before it starts.  As much as I hate it, I absolutely admire that dedication and commitment level. Recently, I'd found myself drifting into a habit of more or less pouting instead of doing what I usually do, getting busy and doing the things I need to do. 

For some reason today was different.  As I drank my first cup of coffee I wandered through my task list.  Stopping here and there for a sip as I worked on different things vying for my attention. Within the first hour of being awake I had finished the laundry, cleaned the washer, watered the newly planted garden beds, fed the dogs, prepped 4 large jars of red bud petals to steep for jelly, and swept the deck and kitchen. I feel unstoppable at this point. 

What I didn't do was linger on social media, I didn't clean out the 100's of spam that miraculously appear in my email inbox several times a day, I didn't linger over things outside of my realm of control. 

pepper plant

radishes

lilac

lettuce

I was intentional. 

Yesterday afternoon Hubs and I were both exhausted. We always are after a trip.  Yet we both knew the red bud bloom only lasts for a few short weeks and we were pushing the outer limits, if we were going to harvest any we needed to get on it. 

While picking red bud blossoms and dodging ticks (do not get me started on that topic!) I spent some time pondering why we are so tired after a camping trip.  Especially one that is full of down time and relaxation. It is a good tired.  It finally clicked. 

We are tired because we have spent time being intentional.  We focus on things that bring us closer together, we sleep little (not because our bed isn't comfy or anything like that) it's because we spend hours talking, playing cards, taking hikes, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air.  

We got home and immediately went to a friend's 70th birthday dinner.  In fact since Thursday night, we have had limited time for connection to the internet, to television, to external influences.  Even last night involved picking flowers and then spending an evening connecting with one of our girls and our grands. 

We didn't watch television or spend time on social media, we talked, we laughed, we did crafts with the little dragon and shared a family meal gathered around the kitchen island.  The sun had long set when we headed home so the littlest could get to bed and we could feed the pups. 

It was all intentional.  Hubs watched a few moments of television, during which time he had an epiphany regarding all of the ads and marketing that are pervasive on television, the radio, email, social media, heck it's even on your weather apps and games.  It's blatant, non-stop brainwashing.  Long gone are the days of subtlety when it appeared they just wanted to market a product to you. I can't remember the last time I saw a commercial for a product like a car, clothing, home, etc.

Again... intentional.  As we have become more addicted to the electronic devices in our hands and homes the brainwashing has become more and more intense. 

I found myself reflecting yet again on what Rory and Jess had spoken of. I don't believe I could be as extreme as Rory.  I do remember the days before all of the technology.  I was blessed to grow up with limited television channels and basically a state controlled radio (I mean come on, the military picked everything we listened to or watched). 

I remember the simplicity of playing solitaire with an actual deck of cards.  Or reading books for hours, not always simply for learning, but exploring the world of make believe and fantastic places.  Although as I have often stated, I was usually the one deeply wrapped up in the little house series.  Longing for that life, wondering if I was born too late. 

Would I love to go back to a time when we could talk, about anything? A time without censuring our words and thoughts, at least in a politically motivated manner.  Heck I even remember when the phrase "politically correct" came into existence.  Yes I do believe all of it has been intentional.  Everywhere you look someone is pushing, forcing, challenging, stirring up hatred and deceit.  I can't even go there with half of it.  I don't have the energy to have conversations with people that are so completely brainwashed.  The ones that will believe whatever they are told, that have stopped questioning everything, that have given in to slow and insidious process that has been taking place. 

I don't want to be part of that kind of intentionality. 

I want to be intentional, committed and passionate about the principals of the Bible.  Satan has been waging war for a very long time, my heart breaks to see how much damage has been done.  Jesus died so that we could be forgiven of the very fact of being human, of being flawed.  I realize that many religions do not believe that.  I respect that, I support your right to believe what you do.  But watching things today, I don't feel it's a two way street. 

While we were in the heart of Missouri, away from the cities and the connectivity, the connection to life, to God, to people was so much stronger.  We engaged in random conversations with complete strangers, we gathered to listen to music, to thank each other for being and doing. There were billboards encouraging prayer and asking what would Jesus do?  It was peaceful. 

This dance between worlds is becoming far more difficult. I am finding it harder and harder to stay a participant in the hatred and division that is being sown on a daily basis.  The battle is raging.  When a channel that you watch regarding earthquakes has to step up and say "folks I feel compelled to let you know that in the battle of good and evil I am on God's side, I am making a stand." That resonates, the battle is getting stronger by the moment.  

I find I need to be more intentional myself.  I need to focus on the things the Lord is asking of me, I need to focus in on that voice that I hear in my head and heart.  The one I have let life and external forces shout down. 

Jess's approach to the internet and connectivity is a far more workable solution for me.  She runs her entire business on the internet, it is needed and required. I get it. Yet she can't run her farm if that is the only place she lives. Timers are set, boundaries on important. 

But oh I do long for the days gone by, when we spoke to one another, shared ideas and tasks.  Even for a natural introvert like myself those days long past are the kind of wonderful memories too many kids today will not possess.  

I made myself a shirt, the phrase just kept resonating in my heart and mind... "Normal isn't coming back, Jesus is Rev. 14". I wore it and another one while we were out in the country almost non-stop it was on my outer sweatshirt.  I received many compliments and smiles regarding it.  I haven't worn it here in the city, I am wondering the reaction I will get.  

I don't really care.  I am intentionally stating the fact that I am on God's side.  I will live my life to honor him. 

Hey... if you made it this far in my ramblings... thanks... The world is going nuts.  We are being used as pawns in a battle far greater than we are and we are all expendable. We have to make the choice to be free, sovereign children of God or to be slaves to others that wish to control us, to benefit from our labor and servitude. 

All of us have free will, all of us have the ability to make our own choices and our own decisions.  I guess it depends one the voices that we are choosing to listen to as we make those choices. Anyone remember the cartoon of an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other... 

The choice is ours.  We simply have to decide to be intentional, committed and passionate about our choices. 

love and prayers... 

finding inspiration...

Wasn't it only yesterday that I was removing all of the heavy sun blocking curtains from the windows to allow more of the natural warmth to shine in?  Raising blinds to allow the brilliant sunshine?  Pretty sure it was. Yet this morning found me hanging them back up to block out the heat and keep the house cooler. It seems like we were under strong freeze warnings just a few days back, and here it is pushing almost 79°.  

I am definitely not complaining, simply wondering how time has flown past so rapidly.  I don't even feel I've slept in between.  I guess it is true what they say about time flying the older you get. 

Hubs and I ran away to the country this weekend, it was not only resurrection weekend, but also his birthday weekend.  Definitely causes for celebration.  Top it off with a tulip festival at one of my favorite Heirloom Seed farms with two of the people that inspire me beyond belief speaking and a chance to be completely disconnected.  Yep, sign me up.   

Hey sis, Dad has the snacks on the other side
I think I can reach them...

Mom, Dad is not sharing

nothing like a campfire

There is so much going on in the world, so very, very much. I needed a moment.  A chance to step into peace and rest.  So did Hubs.  Things are so intense.  I feel in my gut that they are going to be getting even more intense.  I know we needed a chance to completely disconnect. 

The campground was definitely not a favorite, in fact it's officially on the will not return list.  Sad.  Because it has incredible potential.  I would love to own one like it and really put some time, love and attention into it.  As it was... I 100% do not recommend it.  Thankfully it had very few folks staying at it, so it was relatively peaceful, as long as you could block out the incessant noise of the highway.  

He needed a better view of the campground

He's not spoiled... geez...

too much time running in the sun... nap time

It didn't matter, we weren't there to simply sit and stare at the highway.  We are fussy about the kind of campgrounds we select, I loathe feeling like we are camping in a parking lot.  I love green space, walking areas, a little bit of distance between us and the folks around us.  I seriously prefer to not camp in front of a massive burn pile that is almost the circumference of my home, thank goodness we were able to move our spot and not have that up against the back of the camper. 

So we loaded up the pups and went exploring. 

We spent time in a little town called Ava, traipsed through several antique shops.  Found a few things at the second shop, including a beautiful antique appliqued quilt top for a mere $29.  It's pristine and I cannot wait to spend countless hours quilting it. 

We tried to find a nice hiking trail that didn't include a water feature, because frankly Belle is a pure water dog, if it is there she will find it.  Beau is just as bad, although he usually displays a touch of restraint. Sadly the only one we found was far more difficult than either Hubs or I were up to. Shoot, even the pups were struggling with the steepness of the hills, so we didn't feel like we were completely out of shape.  Mildly, not completely. All in all we found spaces for the pups to romp and wear themselves out, we gathered firewood and roasted marshmallows in the evening as the sun was setting and putting on a beautiful display.  We played cards late into the night and early in the morning. 

The tulip festival was wonderful, if a bit overwhelming for me.  I spend so much time either solo or in incredibly small groups that I was frazzled by it all.  I couldn't wait to hear Rory Feek and Jess Sowards speak, they both are strong Christians that live a faithful and devoted life.  They inspire me to no end.  

We took the pups and they did incredible, although you could tell it was all a bit much for them also.  Hubs had been resting on a bench with the pups while I looked at some of the covered tents to see the wares that folks were selling inside.  Those truly are my people.  

The ones that go to homesteading festivals.  Where you can step back in time, where ladies are in their long skirts and men are wearing their jeans or overalls. Seeing folks walking around with their shopping baskets loaded with a variety of plants, seedlings, essential oils and natural healing items.  The beautiful things that you would have found in a pioneer village found at every corner. 

As I returned to tell Hubs that I had found the garlic bulbs and the seed potatoes that I was wanting and we could pick them up as we were leaving, he was excitedly calling me to hurry to him.  I found myself feeling a bit frantic, like I'd left him in the sun for too long and he was not feeling well or something of the sort.  

Hubs and I were blessed to meet Rory

No, it wasn't that at all.  I was intent on taking him over to listen to the live music playing at the top of the hill.  He was equally intent on letting me met Rory Feek.  I can't even remember how the conversation started, but it was wonderful.  He and his daughter's teacher we complimenting me on my puppies and how beautiful and well behaved they are and telling me that they loved my sweatshirt.  I was busy complimenting him on the inspiration that he has liberally shared with the world.  He offered to take a picture without it even occurring to us. I was intent on gathering more information about his Homesteading event that is coming up, as he was asking us if we were going to come and sharing all about it.  We ended up with a few photos and great memories.  We both shared why that particular part of Missouri draws us back.  It's such a blessing when you realize you share so many thoughts and ideals with someone that has blessed your life without ever knowing you.  A bit later I was blessed to meet his little girl, she is beyond precious.  

We went our way, they went theirs.  After enjoying some live music sitting on hay bales in the sunshine I really was worn from the swarm of people.  All so kind and loving, friendly and considerate, but oh so many of them.  My anxiety was high enough that I was ready to go.  I really wanted to hear Rory and Jess speak, but I simply couldn't take all of the swirling wonderful chaos. I told Hubs we needed to go.  

He argued intently with me, knowing that was the sole reason I had wanted to come.  I was content with having shared an incredible conversation with Rory, I was willing to leave. It was well over two hours before they were speaking and I simply couldn't.  I tried, I wanted to, but I simply couldn't. 

I definitely felt peaceful driving back to the camper.  I had designated myself the driver for the weekend, Hubs has been under a lot of strain lately, so I chose to give him the freedom to rest and unwind. 

Hubs was not okay with it at all. Tucking the pups in the air conditioning for the nap, we headed back out to the farm.  A big jar of fresh squeezed lemonade and front row seats later, that he made sure we got and we enjoyed over an hour of story telling and listening to the difference that pure faith had created in both of their lives.  My inspiration factor was through the roof.  

Rory Feek and Jess Sowards

While Hubs was getting us seats inside, I had the opportunity to say hello to Jess inside one of the planting tents.  I'm not a big one for hero worshiping.  I am a firm believer in the fact that we are all equals and no one is above another. But having the chance to tell people that you have been inspired by that they have made a difference in your life, is super powerful. 

We spent our resurrection Sunday among people of strong faith.  Surrounded by blessings and the bounty of this life.  My heart was bubbling with joy. I had wanted to attend a sunrise service, those are the ones that fill my heart with absolute joy for some reason.  But try as I might, I couldn't find one.  Instead I spent time in prayer and thankfulness while Hubs was out romping in the woods. I cherished the solitude as I reflected. 

I am finding so much in my life that is connecting with the path Jesus prepared for us.  I finally feel I am walking the path I was long intended to walk.  I closed my calendar this morning as I was carrying it to the other room. I'd picked it for the colors it had, for the calming sense it brought me daily, I'd forgotten the verse on the cover... "for I know the plans I have for you" Jeremiah 29:11.  I guess the Lord thought I needed the reminder and the conviction to step out further on things.  The ones I've been looking at longingly, but afraid to take the running leap off the cliff. 

The final sunset of the trip... always bittersweet

It's been a busy morning, it will be a busy day.  I hope that you are taking time to pray, to reflect on everything that is going on at this time and to prepare.  I feel we have been lulled into complacency in many ways.  We need to break out of that.  

Rory has spent almost a full year disconnected from the internet.  I am not sure I could do it.  Although listening to him speaking on Sunday has definitely inspired me to step back a bit from many of the things that are clouding my vision and spend a bit more time leaping off cliffs.  I am moving back into my busy time of the year, the garden is waiting for love, there are many tasks and projects that need my attention. I may not have acres and acres surrounding me, but I am still very much a homesteader, and my home needs tending. 

Well... time to build a potato box and learn how to grow spring garlic... 

much love and prayers... 

Storms are rolling in...

Within moments I expect to hear a large crackling as the thunderstorm arrives.  As the sun came up this morning it was quickly blocked out by swirling dark black clouds.  There is definitely a physical storm upon us. It's promises to be a doozy.  I love that word. It aptly describes what is about to happen, something outstanding or unique to it's kind. I'm hearing the rumbling a bit away, it's coming.  I've already seen the first lightening bolts slashing through the clouds. 

My grampa used to tell me that thunderstorms were just the angels bowling up in heaven.  It was how explained it in terms that I was able to understand as a young child.  Somehow it made it less scary to think it was just an angel making a strike. I'm not that little child any longer and I've learned over a lifetime to enjoy the storms, to savor the entire event.  To me, they now feel like we are getting a good washing clean.  Kind of incredible that here it is holy week and we are facing more powerful storms.  Personally, I feel like this entire world needs a good washing.  

For a bit I was making it part of my daily to do list to sit and write.  Sadly, it started to feel forced.  Like that darn English paper assignment that you didn't want to do, but you also didn't want the punishment for not completing the task.  I didn't like that.  There have been a lot of things in my life lately that have been pushed further down the list or dropped completely off. After some serious evaluation they simply didn't have the draw that they had in the past, the urgency left.  Now I only write when my heart feels the need. 

Hubs and I started our camping season last weekend.  A quick one sadly, three days is never enough, but a relaxing heart healing one just the same. We both disconnected from things, sat by the fire, roasted marshmallows, laughed, went to a craft/quilt event, played with the pups, pups made a friend (Smalls was great) and hosted a play time, we played cards and took an incredible hike.

A hike that ended up three miles long with about half of it all up the side of a rather steep hill.  We could have stayed on the paved path, but Hubs let me decide which path to follow.  By now you probably realize that I am always going to take the path less followed. As we had been looking at places to take the pups I'd read multiple descriptions and recommendations for Pirates Ridge, so of course we had to take it. 

I guess the first indicator of a fairly steep uphill to the path should have been like the proverbial light bulb moment, hardly. I was fully engaged in the moment and couldn't wait to see the views.  It was difficult in places, but not to the point that we couldn't do it.  There were moments of serious regret as that climb got steeper and the path narrower, my brain kept reminding me that I have absolutely no challenges going uphill, it might have been whispering the part that I struggle still with downhill as my knee doesn't have a full bend to it any longer. I kept checking on Hubs, he is a bit older than me and in my recklessness I didn't want to cause him any harm, he kept saying he was fine... but he also said that as I aimlessly took us on a romp through the alps back in 2012. 

That hike was brutal.  Look at their paws ❤

End result, an incredible hike, we observed over 25 caves that evidently are absolutely full of Indiana Bats that make a spectacular appears at dusk each evening.  Nope we didn't come back to check that out. We saw creeks and an incredible view of Hannibal and the river.  We let our imaginations run wild and enjoyed the signs of early spring. Both of us survived.  I might have given my sweet Hubs a few minor heart attacks as his desire to protect me is almost as strong as my own bull-headedness.  I had to prove to myself that I was capable of navigating those rocky paths and steep inclines back down to the paved path. FYI - I excelled at it, far better than I could have done for at least the last decade prior to my knee surgery.  Talk about an emotional high!

Hmmmm... might need to focus in on the weather a bit, this is the Midwest and the sky is turning an odd pea green and the trees are dancing in multiple directions at once.... And now the rain has arrived, I love springtime. 

This weekend will find us disappearing in another direction, although we are staying in Missouri.  Thankfully this storm is only supposed to last today and then pass.  Because the super high winds we drove through on Saturday had me feeling car sick for the first time in decades.  It was worse than the turbulence you experience flying into Colorado Springs. 

We are going to a homesteading/gardening event at Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds farm.  I am stupid excited.  Two of my favorite vloggers/bloggers will be speaking.  I have followed them for years and find their content to be informative and well researched. And the whole event gets topped off with a walk through the tulip gardens and an opportunity to get some wonderful seeds and plants for my garden this year. 

It's located almost in the Ozarks, in those sweet rolling hills.  In the same town as Laura Ingalls Wilder lived out her remaining years and where she and Almanzo are buried. We all know that she is basically my life role model, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that I am drawn there. 

Goodness my sweet brave girl is terrified of this storm.  It's highly unusual for her to be afraid of anything.  Normally she is out running in the rain and stressing me out. Right now, she is on high alert pressed against my leg. She just slowly relaxed to the ground, but her head is covered in wrinkles and her ears are folded tight as she rapidly looks around.  Again, definitely not a Belle reaction to anything. 

It's still green outside, but the winds have stopped swirling... could be a good thing or could be a very bad thing the eye of the storm is not a good thing at all.  I am definitely keeping an eye in case I need to grab them both and drag them downstairs.  Belle will go willingly, she loves the treat room (as I am sure that is what she thinks it is - ask Dad), Beau on the other hand loathes the basement and will fight me every inch of the way. I'm not sure you can convince a pup that the storm is just the angels bowling. 

They want their sunshine back ❤

I don't know about you, but I feel like we are in the midst of some very ugly storms right now.  Spiritual, emotional, environmental, natural, economic, judicial... so many storms, so much intentional destruction.  If I am not writing, it is most likely because I am busy praying my way through it all.  You can see a lot of things from many sides, unfortunately, you can also see a lot of pure evil. People are hurting in so many ways.  I personally feel like it's all planned to be like this.  

I've been reading and studying the book of Exodus, I'm getting ready to start reading and studying the book of Revelations.  I don't feel that we are in that time, but I feel like we are getting closer every day. 

I am noticing that people are being pushed to breaking points on so many levels.  A trip to the store is a challenge, so many angry people.  Drivers are getting more aggressive, civil conversations are falling by the wayside.  People are saying things in a hateful and rude manner, feelings are begin hurt and not healing.  The entire world feels offended by something or another. It's exhausting.  

I've found my own solutions, I am staying in love.  Even when angry I ask myself to consider if I am looking at the situation, person, event with eyes of love.  Am I trying, whether I succeed or not, to stand in compassion and understanding?  If not, it's time to take that crap to God in prayer.  He is my banner, shield and coat of armor, he will help me through it. 

I am also finding myself withdrawing from situations that have the potential to explode.  I am finding less and less of a need to be around the general population.  There is comfort in small numbers, intimate groups and being surrounded by your loved ones. 

Anyone else?  Please take time during this week for some serious reflection.  Some time in peaceful prayer or silent meditation if that is more your style.  

Look who's decided
she could be a lap dog

It's time for me to get started with my day.  The storm is mellowing, although it's presence means the outdoor chores will wait for morning.  I might as well work on the things inside my cozy walls, the heat is coming as quickly as the cold did. 

love and prayers...