Tuesday, May 4, 2021

begin...

This silence is almost deafening.  The occasional whoosh of the washer, the rain pouring down on the roofs, and the crackle of thunder and lightening is all that is breaking it. This is the first time I have ever been 100% alone in this house for two full days. 

Sweet Hubs headed out about two hours ago, he will be at the lodge until tomorrow night. A group of them are volunteering their time and skills to help get things ready for the upcoming summer. He asked me to come along, and I seriously considered it.  I love working on renovation projects, but it wasn't what my heart was calling for.  

I chose to listen to my heart. 

I wandered out on the deck to see if I could get my herbs planted this morning.  Nope, not unless I want a cold shower to go with it.  And truthfully, I don't.  I'm sort of wishing I'd skipped the nap I needed so badly yesterday and gotten everything planted.  Hopefully the rain will let up and I can get them in the pots today.  We'll see, if not well they are well watered and have been living in pots for a good while, they will be just fine. 

I managed to get a beautiful pot of cilantro, I had almost given up hope.  The garden center had everything except a decent pot of cilantro.  They had some tiny pots with a single sprig growing in the middle, definitely not enough to actually use for cooking until some time late this summer.  Ironically, Home Depot had a huge pot, just needs transplanted and we are ready to go. 

It feels odd to have so much time to do what I love and cherish.  It's been so very long.  I am feeling a bit stuck.  Not in a bad way, but definitely in an overwhelmed way. So many things have been neglected and ignored.  So much that I want to tackle and I have this urge to tackle it all at once.  I realize that is unreasonable and well... impossible... but dang I wish that magic wand I have upstairs worked. I don't think I have enough patience to wait for it all to be completed. 

So much has opened up and changed in the past week and it feels freeing and peaceful. I'm sure at some point it might become stressful, but right now, nope!  Electronic leash is cut, I am opening my heart and mind to so much that has been locked away.  

It feels like an eternity since I was able to simply be. I have always said when I retire I am putting a hot pink stripe in my hair.  I will admit I'm considering it, very seriously. I might actually do it eventually, right now I am afraid to do anything that might cause more of it to fall out.  The look of shock on my dear sweet Hubs face yesterday when I told him I was thinking about it, well, it was absolutely priceless. He almost choked on his lunch.  I have told him this for literally years, he thought I was joking. I don't know if I am. 

He pointed out to me that he'd always wanted a fifties housewife, I pointed out he probably got more of a hybrid hippie model. I don't know.  I'm more a blue jeans, over sized shirt, long hair, pioneer type gal.  Not so much high heels, pearls and perfect hair. I can play in either playground, but my heart... will always be more of a Mother Earth free spirit, than a June Cleaver perfection model.  He knew that when he married me.

This slower pace feels heavenly.  I can feel my stress levels dropping almost by the moment.  I am not sure that I am the driven woman that my inner me has always told me I am.  Having time to sit in the sunshine and work on a knitting project with tall glass of ice water yesterday felt like a vacation.  I was simply sitting in my treetop garden, not some exotic locale and it was wonderful. 

I am finding my emotional health is priceless.  The balance and grace of the day, beautiful.  I'm not sure I will spend much time connected to any electronics these next two days.  I have things I want to do and not having to have screen time is probably my favorite thing ever!

We are going to be participating in the subdivision yard sale and for the first time, I have time.  

There is so much that I would love to purge from our home.  Things that we no longer need or use.  Items that have been replaced or upgraded.  Stuff that has been hanging around in boxes and back closets - I mean come on our kids are all grown - why do I even have twin bed supplies?

There are books that served a purpose at one point in time, they no longer do.  Furniture that isn't needed and dishes that were being saved for... well who knows.  

Generally speaking, I loathe yard sales.  Hubs loves them.  So I will get it all ready and then let him tackle the "day of" stuff.  I just want my home to feel as free of clutter as I do. 

My weary soul feels like this is self-care.  It is needed. I haven't had time for a good spring cleaning in over a decade, even moving I simply boxed up the clutter and moved it on.  I am filled with joy at the prospect of cleaning it all out. 

I guess my plan for self-care these next two days has nothing to do with long baths, candles and wine... well maybe I can squeeze those in also, sure sounds inviting.  

Today, I think I will tackle the kitchen while I wait for the rain to stop and I get to spend a bit more time up in the dirt.  The thought of getting my kitchen cleaned and organized is enough to make me giddy.  I love to cook.  I hate to look for stuff. Definitely feels like a win/win. Hubs favorite thing is a home cooked meal, he is over the moon that he will start being able to enjoy those every day, a clean and organized kitchen makes it so much easier.

Well, my coffee is cold, it's time to begin.  

I'll chat with you later... please remember to always do what makes your soul feel peaceful, it's so healing.

1 comment:

we needed it...

Anyone else love the smell of the air when it's rained?  Or for that matter anyone else thankful to wake up to smell of rain? It's b...