planning, cooking, packing...

Super duper busy day stretched out ahead of me before Hubs and I head off to an evening of leisure.  Dinner and a baseball game, should be a super good time. Although I am already feeling very accomplished.  When I ran out of sleep I started on my chores.  Laundry is going, ironing is up to the minute, pups walked and fed and a quick run to the grocery before Hubs leaves.  My car is seriously blocked in by the camper and he will be gone all day.  I didn't want to not be able to get things ready for leaving tomorrow. 

I have some canning to finish up this morning.  Those pickled brussels are now my favorite thing in the world, one can never have too many.  I finished up a few more jars of salsa last night, again... one can never have too many.  And I wanted to make use of the $10 cases of tomatoes while they were available.  Don't know when I will be able to get that good of a deal again. 

Today will be mostly finishing up a variety of things to be ready for our latest adventure.  I am looking forward to this camping trip so much, it's the longest we've been on since we had our property down in Sullivan. By tomorrow night we will watch the sunset on the Ohio river.  I hope the babies love it as much as we will.  

We spent a lot of time playing and running errands yesterday.  Picking up the camper meant a stop at the babies favorite dog park.  They are going to be in heaven when we get our fence installed.  Hubs and I have decided we need to build them some ramps like they have in Pacific, they love them!

It's also Quilt week in Paducah, I'm looking forward to it.  I absolutely love spending time looking at all of the amazing work and marveling at the talent it takes to create them.  I have one project to work on while we ride tomorrow, and I am simply not sure what to bring to work on while we camp.  I love having something to sit and putter with while we relax, the challenge is the babies. 

They also like to putter with what I am working on and that makes me a touch fussy. I need to figure out at least one more project to take with me.  I simply don't know what it will be.  Part of me wants to bring one of my block of the months, they have been stashed while the babies have grown and learned to sit for a bit.  Part of me want's to bring a featherweight with me and work on the family quilt project, I'm just not sure how well that will go with the babies in tow.  

I have a couple of needlework projects, but those are hard to do in the truck while towing a trailer.  I guess I should feel blessed that these are the only challenges that I have to worry about right now. Maybe I will bring one of my skeins of sock yarn and a favorite sock pattern and get started on expanding my winter sock collection?  That might just be the way to go.  Easy, portable and I can quickly shove it in a bag so babies can't destroy it. That is definitely sounding like a solid plan. I am not bringing that darn sweater with me, that's for sure.  I don't have the time or patience right now to sort that mess out. 

I need to raise the mesh over the garden beds today and make sure they are all watered.  Everything is really starting to grow nicely and I don't want the time away to ruin all that hard work. I was beyond excited to look this morning and see the start of so many beautiful little radishes. The bright pea tendrils starting to wrap around the frames and trellises.  I absolutely adore springtime. 

Sounds like Hubs is just about ready to bug out and I need to get busy!  Just heard the dryer calling me, time to work.  Have a blessed day, well week.  I am not planning to take my laptop with me, I am planning an old fashioned week... 

love and peace...

the life I'm creating...

"Ask yourself daily does this support the kind of life I am trying to create". I came across that statement a couple of days ago and it's been echoing in my head since I read it. I absolutely believe that most of the things I do in this day and age do support the life I am trying to create.  None of it is earth shattering, I will not change the world or even my community by the actions I take on a day to day basis.  But it definitely supports the kind of life that I am creating. 

Yesterday morning we were blessed to have breakfast with the oldest, it's felt like forever since we've had the chance to do that, she is a busy mom - all our babies are busy living their lives to the fullest. Hubs and I keep ourselves busy as well. So when an opportunity arises to spend quality time with any of our kids, we jump at the chance. 

And as mother nature decided on a nice day, we also took the babies for a nice long walk. They are not used to the warmth and we have decided that we will be walking with their portable water bowls and a bottle of water moving forward.  It wasn't that warm, but they were not their usual bouncy selves. 

Those things all let the morning start slowly.  It was so peaceful. I seriously needed the rest, I was up super late the night before and it has been a crazy busy week.  We'd gone out with friends, we love these folks and it never ends up a short dinner and done, we all laugh, talk, day dream and simply have an amazing time.  Therefore the pups were wired for sound when we got home, they had been kenneled for 3 hours, during a normally busy time for them.  I figured since they were going to be so wound up, I was going to go ahead and finish pressure canning the soups and broths I had made earlier in the day. I am not used to being up until almost 11 pm - I usually turn into a pumpkin long before that 6 am was brutally early when Hubs turned on the light. 

Last night we spent the beautiful evening sitting outside in the warm evening air with our youngest two grands and the girl. Watching the stars come out and the pups wear themselves ragged in her fenced backyard.  It was wonderful to simply sit and visit. I was truly sad as the day came to an end and our eyes started to get heavy.

Sometimes you need days like that to simply recharge your batteries.

Oops Beau got my chin 

I'd planned to do a few more things but honestly. I'm was tired. I finished canning up some diced tomatoes while I was making some of Hubs favorite chili.  We use a ton of diced tomatoes so why not? I love that I am able to can the chili and not waste all of my fridge space on it and hoping it gets eaten before it spoils.  Now he can simply pop open a jar and eat it whenever the mood hits him.

I guess my Belle is going to be the one that goes for help if she determines it is needed.  Hubs was downstairs working and the UPS guy knocked.  It was enough to concern both babies, but more so when I opened the door and disappeared out it.  Belle lost her mind, she ran at breakneck speed down the stairs and bopped dad.  She immediately turned to come back but he wasn't following so she did it again a bit harder and haul fanny back upstairs, she was determined to rescue mom.  Beau wouldn't leave the door and just kept barking to let me know I'd forgotten him.  All this drama was occurring while I was picking up the box sitting at the door.

You can imagine my shock when I walked in a total of maybe 2 minutes later to my dear Hubs looking worried and two relieved puppies.  Honestly, I didn't even know how to react. But I have to say, it earned them a treat as Dad was relieved I was okay and we were both a bit stunned that she went and got him. They both tend to stay by my side, and don't head downstairs if I am home, unless they need an extra treat - they know Dad is a sucker and keeps a box on his desk. It was absolutely funny and at the same time reassuring to know that she is going to go and get help if she feels mommy needs it. You know protection from the UPS guys is critical.

This morning got off to a super slow and wet start.  I was downstairs with Hubs and decided to waste a bit of time looking at .svg designs, while he went off to work, he couldn't get the item he was printing to print on his new printer.  Before his frustration got out of hand he headed to a branch to print it. He ordered me a sublimation printer and I was interested to see what designs I'd been overlooking as I didn't have one. The babies had been upstairs with him when he left and I was concerned about their silence.  

Puppies and silence are never a good combo.  I was more than a bit apprehensive when I came up the stairs, my heart pounding wondering what was destroyed today.  It became a far more intense fear when I realized that they were not sleeping in any of the usual spots.  I have to admit, I was a bit surprised to find them curled up on the entryway rug, patiently waiting for Dad to come home. I'm fairly sure they thought I had left with Dad, because they were very shocked to see me round the corner.  They are back to happily playing now, knowing that they are not at home alone. 

We got the news that our fence is ready for install on Friday.  I was so excited and also disappointed.  We leave for our first long camping trip on Tuesday.  They wanted to install on Thursday or Friday.  Sorry, nope.  That is not something I am going to let anyone else supervise.  Now it will be installed on May 4th.  Great!  Except the pups are having their spay and neuter on May 3 and will not be able to climb stairs, run or carouse for 10 days.  All this time waiting and they will still need to wait another 10 long days.  Probably a good thing, because we will be able to clean up the backyard and make sure it is puppy proof before they go and romp. This has felt like the most drawn out purchase - ever!!  I can't wait to have it finished and over with. Now I just need to keep my fingers crossed that they don't damage my lilac bush when they install it.

Honestly, if they do, I feel I might just go and get a few to put outside the fence on the hill.  It's super barren since we chopped down all of the invasive honeysuckle. We'll see, I'd also like to plant a Chicago fig tree or two out there.  Or maybe even a plum?  I don't know, I want it to be beautiful, but also useful. And I do love figs. 

I guess I am spending my time creating the life that I want to live in.  I keep to myself or close family and friends for the most part. I work on things that will benefit my family and loved ones.  I am captivated by things that allow us to step a bit further out of the main stream.  Things that lead to a bit less reliance on things that aren't really the best for us. 

The next 48 hours will be full and busy.  We have a camping trip to get ready for, we are doing dinner and the ballgame tomorrow night, I want to get some grass seed planted before we bug out and of course I have a few more things to finish up canning and dehydrating wise.  Hubs over bought dill, slightly my fault - neither of us realized the packages at Global foods would be SO big! So I am going to pop those on the dehydrator so that they do not go to waste.  Dried dill is wonderful! I guess what I am saying, is that it is time to hustle... 

love and peace... 

dealing with humanness...

I don't know about you, but I am tired of ugly.  It seems the only thing the stupid lock-downs accomplished was removing even more civility and grace from society. And it wasn't like we had a lot to begin with.  It is mind numbing and makes me weary.  Maybe it is why I stay to myself, keeping my distance from most people and working on living my best life with those that I feel closest to?  I am terribly afraid that I would go crazy and suffer from lack of sleep constantly if I was still forced to be out in the world at this point. 

My daughter took a four month break from social media recently. Yes I admit I missed some of her witty comments and pictures of the grands. But I understood, sometimes we all need to step away from things that are causing us anxiety. People tend to at least show some grace and understanding when they are face to face. 

I know I have mentioned a few times that I am really trying to get to know my neighbors, after almost 8 years, I know very few, yet these are the people in my actual space bubble. I long for the days of front porches.  I yearn to have relationships that were similar to my life as a military family, where you could count on your neighbors to be your support group, to be there for you through whatever life threw at you, even from day one.  

I miss having neighbors that might have driven me nuts as their children ran through the apartment over my head at all hours, because they were also the same neighbors that rushed to your side when there was a need of any kind.  I miss those days. 

Now, if you have ever lived in military housing you probably feel I have lost my mind.  It's a tough environment, without much space for daily living.  I planted so many balcony gardens just to have a small bit of green around me.  I loathed climbing countless stairs to walk dogs, bring in groceries (ask me how I became a master at loading grocery bags for one trip), dragging my laundry up and down the stairs and praying that the family before me had left the laundry room at least semi clean and usable. I have listened to more domestic arguments than I ever needed to hear and you always knew which kids spent the most time in trouble. 

Looking back on it all though, I might have rose colored glasses.  

I lived on military bases that were bombed, when 9/11 happened (wanna talk about being locked down...), through potential tsunami's (close enough to the beach that I could see it from my bedroom window).  I lived on bases where the military members were deploying constantly, where you could be evacuated at any moment, where you were taught to look under your car with a mirror to insure that it didn't have bombs, where you didn't flinch when your doctor showed up to examine you in full chem-gear. I experienced having power of attorney's to act as guardian for single parents in case of deployment. I lived on an island where the groceries didn't arrive on a regular basis and by the time they did some of it would be stale and crushed.  I could probably list the things I have experienced for days and it would make it sound horrible and sad. 

Yet, what I remember was the friendships, gathering our kids together for play dates or crafts, being there when someone suffered a loss, watching each others kids and/or dogs, everyone rallying together to make sure that everyone had enough, people cared about one another.  There were welcome gifts and frankly committees that made sure everyone got welcomed and knew the lay of the land on day one.  

If your car broke down someone would always offer you a ride, because getting them fixed or replaced wasn't always as easy as it is today. I remember my car being in the shop for a full month, I needed wheel bearings or something like that replaced.  I also remember thinking at the time, thank goodness my beater car is an Audi and this is Germany, it won't take any time at all, and should be pretty cheap (the car only cost $2500) well, evidently that meant nothing. Because it was in the base shop so all the parts had to come from the US and the cost was doubled because of it. I was without transportation for a long while with a newborn and a 6 year old and deployed husband.  My neighbors never missed a beat, they were always by my side helping to carry the load. 

We volunteered in the community to make sure we had everything we needed.  I am still friends with some of those folks, from over 40 years ago, we might not see one another often or at all as we are like dandelion petals and are scattered around the globe.  But if one of us needs something, we are all there to help. A few have drifted out of my life, but I would still be there for them the minute they called. 

The reason I am walking down memory lane, is because of where we are now.  Today.  In this time on our planet.  It is making me so nostalgic for the past. Everywhere I turn there is more divisiveness, people show little to no compassion, grace, understanding or care for their fellow humans.  It's the lowest time I have ever experienced and I don't feel it is getting any better.  In fact I would say it is getting more and more bitter. 

I was looking over our neighborhood Facebook page.  Scrolling back through days and weeks of posts.  It was heartbreaking.  It was full of negative and slightly aggressive comments and behaviors. Assumptions that everything is out there to make you angry or to inconvenience someone. 

That the feral cats are needing to be rounded up and gotten rid of, don't think about the fact that someone has taken care of them for years, they are all fixed and not harming anyone - but hey sorry they were sunning themselves on your deck - definitely round them up and take them to be destroyed. 

Or maybe that people aren't only walking their dogs in the common area, even though there isn't a sidewalk in the common area, or maybe they are sitting their bagged poop on the side of the road to pick up on their return trip because there are no trash cans in the neighborhood to dispose of it in and holding it and and dog leash might be a challenge. Or maybe it is the fact that someone is leaving kitty treats in the common area for the local kitties. Heaven forbid a kindness is offered up.  It is complaining about this, that or the other almost non-stop.  

There were bright spots.  A neighbor asked to borrow a wheelbarrow. I would have loaned him one of my two, but we gave them to our daughter when we moved here, our yard is not wheelbarrow friendly.  I was so proud of my girl when I saw she was not only the first to reply, but she also went down and helped the neighbor move all of that mulch (she was raised in a military community FYI). Or the warning about the car parked right near the entrance, our subdivision has a odd entrance if approaching from the left and it's off a busy, busy road. Sadly there was an accident caused by that individual parking there, even sadder was the neighbor that said the person that got hit should have been more careful, instead of having an issue with a car parked in a location that was dangerous. 

There are sometimes uplifting things.  Other's it is just plain ugly. 

I'm simply tired of ugly.  I have reached the point that I don't want to walk my babies in the neighborhood, afraid that their existence is going to offend someone.  Heck, I don't want to walk in my own neighborhood because of the fact that people are just so darn ugly at times.  Half of them act offended if you say hello, the other half are offended if you didn't see them and say hello.  It's insane. 

I want to be part of a community.  I want to lift up and support my neighbors.  Watch each other's houses, mow each other's lawns when something is stopping them from mowing it themselves.  I want to share stuff from our gardens and step in to help when needed. Heck, in 8 years I have not once had a neighbor knock on my door to borrow a cup of sugar!  Am I that unapproachable? Are they?

I'm guilty of the same.  I get annoyed when the neighbors on the other side of the cul de sac have 10 cars parked on both sides of the street, and it is almost impossible to get through to my own driveway.  Although I was incredibly sad that the neighbors having work done on their deck felt they needed to personally deliver a letter of apology for the inconvenience the trailer for the contractor might have caused. 

I'm not a fan of the garden boxes the neighbors have randomly plopped in their front yard, they are huge, unsightly and just.... no words.  I don't like that every Wednesday - late Thursday I am picking up garbage from the neighbors down the street that just pile empty boxes and containers on top of an open trashcan without a care that they will be everywhere within an hour.  I might have celebrated when the corner neighbor put the for sale sign in his front yard - thankful that I would no longer be listening to him dropping heavy weights, refusing to mow his grass and leaving his gate open so his dog chased us. Yes, I am guilty just the same.  

Those things annoy me. But the reality is, there isn't much parking on our street and we do have several families that leave vehicles sitting there for weeks on end, maybe there is a reason?  Maybe their grown children had to move back home?  Maybe their parents had to move in?  Or they are staying with an elderly family member. Grace is not all that common any longer. 

Maybe the neighbors with the garden boxes are struggling to make ends meet and as a result are hoping to grow some of their food to supplement their income and their backyard is like my front yard - very little sunshine or space. 

For the trash folks... I am still struggling to find a positive for that, although I know the lady that lives there is very elderly and frail and has family members staying with her to take care of her.  Maybe they are finding enough time to get the trash out and that is all?  Or they may not even realize it is blowing away because other's are picking it up. 

We are all flawed humans.  We are all suffering with our humanness. We do things that might annoy, seem thoughtless, or actually be thoughtless without realizing it.  It seems that all the two years of shutdown and disconnection have taught us is that we do not have to treat others kindly, forget about having grace or compassion. I am also seeing that many of those that are lashing out, are the very ones that were lashed at in the past.  Do two wrongs make a right?  Did I miss that lesson somewhere? 

None of us are perfect, none of us do the right thing all the time (because right depends on the interpretation of someone else), none of us are an island unto ourselves.  Maybe it's time for a few less rules, a bit less rigidness and a lot more understanding, care and compassion. I'm tired of the insanity, the ugly, the selfishness.  

I guess I need to spend some time processing where my feelings are, and then... wasn't it Gandhi that said to be the change you want to see in the world?  I was so impressed with the woman that manages our community Facebook page, because she flat out called everyone out, it's time for a kinder, gentler and more loving world.  Step up people!  I am working on doing the same!

love and peace... 

this crazy life...

I don't really have time to write this morning.  But I am going to make the time.  I'm a bit weary and need a few moments of being still, with my hot coffee, okay semi warm coffee.  It's been a hugely productive week, and our camping trip is next week, somehow I have completely lost track of time. I mean, we are less than a week out and I've been so busy that I might have forgotten to start getting ready.  The next few days are going to be rough. 

We have company for lunch today, so needless to say, I have a crazy busy morning.  My kitchen is currently canning central. My friend came over yesterday and over the course of the day we completed so much!  I had a great time helping her learn, let me tell you she has it down cold! Over the course of one day we completed 31 jars of jelly (wild violet, dandelion and red bud), 7 pints of pickles - we'll see if those turn out, I might have gotten distracted and forgotten an ingredient, a single can of bread and butter pickles and also 5 jars of apple butter for her to take home.  Additionally, I'd finished up the 5 pints of salsa, finished cooking up 10 pounds of chicken for canning and have a huge pot of chicken stock simmering away. And we ground 2 jars of onion powder.  Life is good and bountiful. 

I would say it was a crazy productive day.  And so much fun.  I love the sound of pings and the kitchen was filled with them!

After the company heads out today, I will get right back at it.  I have a case of tomatoes to use up, I want to can the chicken stock (yikes first time with the pressure canner) and I need to start planning out the camping trip.  So much to do, so little time. 

Yesterday while we were canning, my friend asked me how I found time to do that while working.  It was actually slightly painful to admit that I hadn't found time.  That all the wonderful toys my husband had bought me over the years to make my life easier, had been sitting in boxes gathering dust.  I'd simply been too busy to use them.  And there we were using the things that I had left sitting around while I went about my former life.  

It's strange.  My body is tired and sore, it's been a busy hard week so far.  But my soul is filled to capacity.  I might be weary, but it's a good weary.  It's the kind that comes from doing honest labor and completing the tasks that make me feel accomplished. 

The coffee is 100% cold now, and time is fluttering away from me... time to get busy...

making a life...

It's another rainy day here in the mid-west.  Luckily not as rainy as it is a bit further south.  I feel like my family in Arkansas have gotten far more rain that we got when we lived in the Pacific Northwest. My one sister is dealing with a flood in her place of work, and by flood, I mean the building is pretty much going to have to be gutted.  So much water has poured through the roof it is ridiculous. Knowing what they are dealing with down there, I am definitely not going to complain about our little bits of rain every few days, my garden is loving it. 

I think my subconscious heard me whining a bit about feeling rushed and out of control the other day, as it has kindly woken me by 4 am every day since.  I have decided that since it was nice enough to help me obtain more hours in the day, I would make use of them.  My friend is coming over  today to learn to make jellies and since I didn't finish everything I'd hoped yesterday, I decided to get with it.  While talking with my sister on her way to work this morning (her waking hours are even worse than mine used to be) I made up a batch of salsa that is water bathing right now.  I also gathered up the dried onions and put them in the jar to condition, onion powder is definitely happening today. 

I have a few other recipes that I am going to get with it on today, I didn't get to my pizza sauce yesterday, it's incredible what needing one ingredient can do to slow down the process - how did I miss that I needed a lemon? It was worth the wait though and the pickled brussels look amazing.  

My sister thought she was clever and asked me if the homesteader was busy this morning... I really wish I could have a true homestead, but I guess a suburban homestead is better than nothing.  And I am making the most of my little homestead, such as it is.  Those of you that have read for a while know that I am obsessed with "Little House on the Prairie" and might just be intent on living my day dreams. 

Last night I saw a quote "stop eating food made by people that hate their jobs, imagine the type of energy they are putting int the food you end up eating".  It really made me stop and think.  In fact it had me thinking about a lot of things.  

How many people are hating their jobs, that are afraid to step out of their comfort zones and simply do something completely different? A year ago that was me.  I was not happy or fulfilled any longer with my career choice.  The only bright spots for me were the steady paycheck and the few friends that I had made.  I was struggling hard. I wonder if that made me someone that was putting off a lot of negative energy.  Probably.  Even if it was subconscious, I am sure it was there. 

Today, I got up early, walked and fed my babies, fed my husband, talked to my sister, prepped for jelly making and took care of the onions and made salsa all before 7:30 am.  I've cleaned up the kitchen and have a water canner taking care of my salsa and I'm finding time to write. I am in an incredible mood!  I am doing it because I want to, not because I have to.  I feel like that is the difference in my world at this point.  I am doing things that fill me with joy, with a sense of purpose.  I am doing things that I know will benefit my loved ones and I can see the value.  

I had reached a point that I didn't see value in my day to day. When someone says that you don't realize the difference a year can make... I'm here to testify it is a HUGE difference.  In less than a year I am doing meaningful work that makes my heart sing.  In less than a year I have had my knee replaced and eliminated years of pain and limitations.  In less than a year I have lost over 60 pounds, YIKES!  In less than a year I have nurtured friendships and made new ones, things I could only dream of doing before. I don't really remember the person I was, all I remember is that I was horribly unhappy and miserable. I was not living my best life. 

I'm not sure I was living a life.  I am fairly sure I was simply existing.  Moving forward-ish.  

I am so blessed and so thankful for the life I have now.  For being able to make time for what is important and doing the things that are fulfilling.  I am fairly certain my sweet Hubs never eats a meal at home prepared by someone that hates their job.  

Well... today is going to be a bit short... my friend is on their way and it's almost time to make the jellies! I need to get the teas out of the fridge and let them start coming to temperature.  We are making dandelion (tastes like a mild honey - perfect for vegans!), wild violet (tastes like sweet berries), and red bud - and I am not really sure how to describe it's flavor besides yummy.  I love sharing the skills I have acquired, paying it forward is such an amazing way to do things. 

love and peace... 

questioning my value...

Do you know your worth?  Do you ever question it?  Last night I was exhausted.  I'd had a very productive day, but hadn't been able to fix Hubs the dinner he'd asked for and his personal frustration with the way his day had gone had me feeling like an absolute failure.  He didn't make me feel that way, I made me feel that way. 

I powered through my to do list like a crazy woman yesterday.  The house was filled with amazing smells as I roasted tomatoes and onions.  I'd worn myself stupid canning things, forgetting how much I truly enjoy the old ways.  I was thrilled at Hubs' delight with the tomato paste and the vodka sauce.  The scent from the onions filled the house to capacity, it's a warm smell like you get from French onion soup. 

I'd gotten laundry done, some grocery shopping thrown in, even playtime with the pups had happened a few times.  By the time I fixed the modified dinner - I was feeling pretty low, in my defense (not that he blamed me at all) it was after 5 pm when he put in his dinner request, and the stove and oven were in steady use at that point. And he didn't complain at all about the substitution. 

None of those things were the reason for questioning myself.  Hubs had a really rough and long day yesterday.  None of it was in his control or his doing, he was cleaning up a challenge someone else created.  It was wearing on him and frankly making him a tad fussy.  That is when I started to have doubts. 

Since changing my lifestyle just shy of a year ago, I have been so very grateful and filled with joy.  I love being a housewife, I love taking care of my home and doing the things that bring me joy.  But there are times that the modern ideal that one must work outside of the home to have value sneaks in and tries to steal my joy. So many times I have questioned the decision we made, so many times I have wondered if I was pulling my fair share.

Last night was one of those times.  I started going through my mind, telling myself if I was still in corporate America Hubs wouldn't have to deal with this stuff, if I was still punching a clock and doing those things he would have more options. You get the idea.  Hubs is incredible at his job and usually makes it look like he could do it with his eyes closed and half asleep, he's simply a natural. But on those days when nothing is going right, even he gets a case of the grumps. 

I got up from dinner and started folding the laundry, still had a few loads to go, and voiced my concerns to Hubs. His answer is one he's given me many times.  He asked me if I wanted him to put a price to all of the things I do for him and our home.  For him to figure out what it would cost him to have someone else come and do all of those things. He tells me all the time that all he's wanted is a 50's housewife (thank goodness that doesn't involve skirts, high heels and pearls) and that he is so thankful he finally has that.  

He is overjoyed that his personal chore list now involves helping walk puppies, taking out the trash and mowing the lawn. Kind of hard to argue with that kind of logic.  He loves being taken care of and I love taking care of him.  Kind of works don't you think?

I slept super soundly after that.  Everything about me was exhausted when I crawled into bed, but the sense of accomplishment from the day was over the moon.  

My jalapeno's are all canned up and waiting for the next three weeks to be cracked open.  I can't wait to try them.  Ended up with 13 jars of varying sizes.  The tomatoes simmered and baked for hours, the end result was the most decadent tomato paste I have ever tasted, I cannot wait to cook with it, 7 jars there.  I made the base for a vodka sauce, again, we cannot wait to try it, a couple tablespoons of heavy cream while it cooks and all is good with the world.  I felt like I chopped onions forever yesterday, but like I said our house smells heavenly of caramelized onions, they are in the dehydrator right now, soon to be onion powder. 

I hadn't planned to do any cooking today, I had planned to sit with my feet up and crochet (I hate to admit it, but spending hours on my feet bothers my knee a bit).  But the pinging of canning jars as they seal is highly addictive and I simply couldn't wait to get the other items done.  I can't wait until we are eating the foods I made, not the ones from the store that are full of preservatives and little flavor. 

Right now, I'm simply taking a small break.  My back was fighting with me and I need to run back out for a lemon - of all the things to forget. I am trying a new kind of recipe, Pickled Brussels sprouts.   Hubs loves brussels, and I make a ton of charcuterie plates.  I'm hoping they turn out as good as they sound.  I've already prepared and canned the pickled dill green beans and started the pickles they are soaking up the brine as I type. 

Before I lay my head down tonight I hope to have finished the pickled asparagus (that is incredible in a Bloody Mary - FYI) and possibly even the pizza sauce.  We both love the crustless pizza that I make and I am sure it will only be better with a fresh homemade sauce. 

Tomorrow my girlfriend is coming over and all of those beautiful floral teas will become jellies, and I asked her what else she would like to can, a couple of ideas are out there.  Like I said, I'd forgotten how much I missed doing these kind of things.  The joy that comes from providing on a much deeper level than running off to the grocery and buying something that isn't as nourishing, something that lacks the depth of homemade, the trade off for convenience so that I can work a full time job outside of my home. 

Well, I need to get back to filling my beautiful jars with wonderful treats and meals.  I am hoping to be brave enough to try my pressure canner tomorrow, I have never tried it and frankly the learning curve is unnerving. I've already picked out all of the recipes I want to try, so... why not!

love and peace...

personal growth...

It's already been a busy morning, I just need a few minutes of time for myself before I dig into the day.  I'm finally getting a whole cup of hot coffee (the struggle has been real this morning) and the pups are laying at my feet working on the Kong's that Hubs fixed before heading off to work. Me, I'm enjoying the silence of the moment.  No noise, if you don't count the licking and crunching and the sound of the heater running.  It's dreary outside and almost dark inside, except for the light filtering in and the single lamp I have burning.  

Since I don't rush off to a traditional job any longer I find that I usually do not get out of bed until around 6 am, I might be awake, in fact I usually am.  But I often find that early morning hour or two the time that I get engrossed in learning a new skill or reading an article or two about things I find fascinating, after I have spent some time in deep thought and meditation.  It balances me out.  What I am finding though, is that then I am rushing about trying to complete all of the tasks that need to happen before Hubs leaves or starts his day. 

I'm not sure that I want to give up that quiet time, it's a leisurely way to start the day off.  Hubs usually brings me coffee around 6 and that signals that it's time to start the day off at a brisk pace.  I am finding that hour or two to be a bit stressful, which is why I am not sure my current plan is working. On the flip side, the time after that rushed period is priceless and calm.  Maybe I am just pushing against the way I used to do things and that is causing the anxiety?  I don't know, my old life was all about rushing and hurrying.  It was very hard on me mentally and emotionally, and I will not even talk about the damage it caused physically.  You really don't think about those things when you are deep in the moment.  You simply survive. 

I don't live in survival mode any longer.  I am so blessed and thankful for that.  It might be the reason why whenever I am confronted with even a tinge of it, almost like a boomerang feeling that instills that fight or flight emotion?  

This morning I forgot to turn the flame off under my cast iron skillet after making breakfast.  That one is going to need cleaned and seasoned again.  I almost crumbled when it happened, Hubs kept telling me over and over that it wasn't a catastrophe, but for that moment, it felt like it. 

I'm calmer now.  The pan is okay.  Hubs has been fed, Pups have been fed and walked.  But for a moment it felt out of control, I guess I sometimes have PTSD from the life I lived before. 

In a bit I am going to head to the kitchen and work on some canning, it didn't happen yesterday.  Time got away from me while I was gathering recipes and planning my course of attack on the pile of fresh veggies that need my attention. Before I knew it is was almost time for the youngest grands to join us for Easter dinner.  It was late, the dragon was with her dad and needed retrieved. It didn't matter, it was wonderful to have everyone gathered together.  If we had planned a bit better I might have gotten all of the grands together, but alas I am not incredibly awesome at planning. 

Today is going to be a serious homemaker day, the dreariness outside is definitely compelling me to stay inside.  It looks like I have enough tomatoes to make the tomato paste and a small batch of tomato sauce. Of course I still have 5 pounds of jalapeno's to prepare and get into their cans.  The two months of waiting will feel like an eternity, but the freshness of homemade is worth it. I think I am going to run up to the fruit stand and get more pickling cucumbers before I start the pickles, it feels a bit like a waste to prepare the brine for so few, but we'll see where I am later in the day. By tonight the onions will be in the dehydrator, the red buds will be strained for jelly making day and I will be working on tackling my plan for the chicken.

I have to clean the fridge that Hubs managed to get free yesterday, I knew if we were patient the right one would come along.  I finally have my cheese cave!  After I clean it good today and we move it downstairs, I can start planning my cheese making journey. I have been stalling until I felt better prepared, and who knows I might be a bit apprehensive about trying something new, the excuses for stalling are running out.  

In between all of that there is laundry to wash, a bull to finish (decided that has to happen while puppies nap, as they are far too interested in the yarn), I might even find time for a long walk with the babies if it warms up and doesn't rain.  

We are under a frost warning for the next almost 24 hours.  I would really like it if Mother nature would tell winter it is time to move along.  I am over it. Had to bring my herbs inside again as opposed to putting them in their bigger pots, so frustrating.  I ran across a picture of me and my grand daughter the other day, we were wearing capri leggings and tank tops because it was so warm.  That is not the story this year, for sure.

From this weekend, but I LOVE this pic of him

I saw a quote that often pops up this morning, "the older I get the more comfortable I am not fitting in with society".  It's been around for years in different forms and verbiage, but truthfully, the older I get the more it resonates with me.  I love marching to my own drummer, the band playing in my head doesn't fit modern society for the most part.  For the longest time, I felt weird and out of touch with reality.  Now I understand that my reality is perfect for me. I'm a bit old fashioned.  I'm definitely odd in my hobbies and the things that fill me with joy.  Truth is... I no longer care what others think or feel about my life choices.  It's so liberating.  I don't begrudge other's the things that bring them joy and happiness, even when it isn't something that fills my soul.  We're all here to live our own journey and experience what we chose.  

nap time

The babies have worn themselves out and are crashed on the sofa, I guess it's time for me to get busy doing me things... I hope all of you have a blessed day and that your journey is bringing you immense fulfillment. 

love and peace...  

how we do it...

It has been a very busy Easter so far!  Hubs just headed down to the man cave to "nap", although I hear the television so he's probably watching a movie.  The babies are crashed on the sofa, they have had a busy, busy day.  And I decided to rest for a bit before starting on my list of things I still want to do today. 

Just a few minutes with my feet up and paused.  My body is a bit tired today. We completed 2 walks, a romp at the dog park and foraging for red bud flowers all before ten this morning.  When we got home I fixed Hubs and I some lunch and did a bit of tidying up.  

Being busy gives me a mental break from the world as a whole.

I was in a bit of a bubble this morning.  I see all of the stuff saying that people are standing with Ukraine.  If that is your thing, I'm happy for you.  Sadly, there is a situation in Shanghai, that is equal if not worse on the whole to what is happening in Ukraine, yet it isn't in the news on a grand scale and I don't understand why or how in this day and age people can be so unaware of it. My son was telling me about it a few days ago when he called, sadly I was oblivious at that point also.  It's hard to find any information on it, every time something comes out it is blacked out or taken down. People are sealed in their homes, they are starving to death, they are struggling to survive. My son had sent me a video late last night, I tried to watch it this morning and it was already removed.

I am also questioning why it is hidden?  Do they not want the rest of the world to know of this horrific tragedy?  Or is to see how far they can get with it before we all find out? Whatever it is, it is beyond demonic what is happening to those people.  When do people wake up and witness the insanity that is happening?

All of that really twisted my heart and mind, not how you want to start the holiest of days in the Christian calendar. I felt helpless, I felt lost.  My heart hurts for them in ways that I can't even put into words.  Can you imagine being sealed inside your home?  Slowly starving to death?  Because of fear?  That is what is happening to them. Some of them have long since run out of food and cannot leave to get more. The news is only showing snippets, the stuff that comes out is so much worse. Over Omicron, ya know the version that basically wiped the pandemic out around the world?  What is going on??

Processing all of this has left me with a feeling of hopelessness and I hate it. 

It was messing with my head quite a bit this morning.  I started to go down mental pathways that serve no one. Instead, I decided to focus on my family and loved ones. I am praying for the people that are suffering.  I am sending them positive energy.  But I needed to shift my focus back to my own circle of influence. 

I decided to just keep doing the things. I can't change the world.  But I can change my little piece of it.  So in a few minutes, I will get back to work. 

Before I sat down to rest, I boiled up the water and poured it over the jars full of flowers.  They will need to steep for about 24 hours, so better sooner than later. We came across an amazing batch of jalapeno's that I am going to slice up and pickle, I also found some beautiful pickling cucumbers yesterday and I have garlic, so I will definitely be making some of those yummy pickles that I love.  

It's going to be a bit of a busy day, but it is going to be such a great feeling when I am done. 

It feels like the rain is not too far off, so I'm not even going to try messing in the yard today.  Hubs spent time yesterday helping me with squirrel cages over my radish planters.  I had started the other day, but gave up and simply arched the mesh over them. The way he's done it will definitely deter that little bugger for a bit, at least in the garden. It will also allow the radishes to sprout up and grow without anything blocking them. 

Now I need to figure out how the dang squirrel is getting in the soffit and traveling to the garage.  I gotta tell you, it was massively disturbing to walk into the garage and hear a sound in the corner, we have automatic lights out there and I hadn't opened the garage door yet, I knew whatever was causing it was definitely in the garage.  I stood super still, looking toward the sound, when all of the sudden his big gray body shimmied up the wall and into a hole.  Just as quickly as I saw him, he'd disappeared.  I'm gonna have Hubs help me block that entrance, but I have to find the other one.  If we don't have any luck, I will have to call in professionals.  I am not a fan of our squirrels and my temper with them is definitely getting short. 

Looking over the garden this morning, I am starting to reconsider where I purchase my seeds from, I have been a pretty loyal customer of a Missouri based heirloom seed company. Even though their seeds are not inexpensive, I felt comfortable paying the additional pricing to help keep some of the heirlooms in community gardens.  I have to say, almost all of the beds that I planted with their seeds are struggling.  They either haven't sprouted or if they have it's like they are frozen in time and haven't grown.  The random seeds that I have purchased from other places, including heirlooms, are all doing great.  Even the ones that need longer growth times are growing at a faster pace. Not feeling like I want to spend extra dollars on seed packets that don't sprout or have a lower than average sprout ratio.

It's time to get busy.  I need to start caramelizing the onions that I am going to eventually grind into onion powder (takes at least 12 hours before I can dehydrate them) and I want to get started on my jalapeno's and pickles while everyone is sleeping. 

Celebrate this wonderful day however your soul calls you to do so.  If it crosses your mind to lift up the people suffering around our world, please do so. I always keep in mind that but for the grace of God it could be me. 

love and peace... and Happy Easter!

staying busy...

It's already 7 am.  Pups have been walked and fed, more canning jars have been ordered, and Hubs and I have talked about the game plan today.  I need to gather redbud flowers before they all fall to the ground. I want to make several jars of redbud jellies.  I know I don't eat sugar, but I do have lots of friends and family that do. Might also gather a few more jars of wild violets and dandelions, not sure.  Today is also about finishing up the little bull and if time allows I might even get the family challenge quilt cut out.  Hubs and I are both behind on that, and only have two weeks to get at least the tops done. 

That moon last night was ravishingly beautiful, anyone else pause to enjoy it?  I sure did.  I have always been the girl looking at the moon. Last night wasn't any different.  I thought I would miss my gazebo in the tree top garden, I don't.  I am finding that I really missed all of the beauty of the heavens. Even with the down turn in temperatures I've spent a lot of time in the fresh air the past few days. At all hours of the day and night. Simply enjoying the beauty of nature as it comes rushing back to life.

I'm going to pick up a case of tomatoes today, Roma's if I can find them - Amish would be better, but it's too early in the year for those, I found a recipe to make my own tomato paste and I seriously want to give it a shot. I found a few others that I am anxious to try also and might just have to price some jalapeno's because I want to try canning some of those also.  

I used to make my own pickles, they were so yummy.  Then time passed and I forgot how I had made them and tried a new recipe.  That batch was horrible and slimy, I haven't made them since.  I figured out what the challenge was and how to correct it.  I'd hot water-bathed them.  Definite no-no.  Open kettle all the way.  So when I am finally able to locate a good batch of pickling cukes that will be next on my agenda. Garlic pickles are amazing! My girlfriend's mom made them on their farm, I still remember the wonderful taste.  And that was probably a good 30 years ago. 

I also found a recipe for onion powder.  Of course you know I am going to dive in on that one. I use a ton of onion powder and frankly, I question what I am really getting in those mass produced bottles and jars. I know the red pepper that I grew, dehydrated and ground myself is incredible.  We use a ton of it in everything imaginable and ration the bits of it so carefully, so as not to waste a single flake.  I can't wait to grow more this year. 

I'm tired of going to several stores to find what I want and need to cook with.  Or having to modify a recipe because I can't find it.  I am perfectly capable of making my own supplies, time to get with it.  I also worry about the growing list of additives that are in literally everything. I'm not interested in that kind of garbage any longer. Yesterday at the pet store was a sign telling us finally why the pet food the babies have been on since birth is hard to find.  This is one of the many reasons I am concerned and worried about where we are headed. Notice that it says through 2022, anyone else realize that we are not even through the fourth month of the year?  I sure did. 

I didn't get around to starting my seeds yesterday, so I will do it today.  I feel like a crazy scientist, starting all these experiments and watching to see how they turn out.  Or maybe I am more like an earth witch, that sounds a bit more stable.  "double, double, toil and trouble... "... or maybe I'm just person in the wrong century.  I think I am definitely okay with that also. Just thankful it's okay for women to wear jeans or pants in this time frame a dress was definitely not conducive to most of those chores. 

I've done a bit more digging into the influence of Taurus and was quite pleased to find that it is about relearning the old ways and skills.  It is a steady and stable influence.  Count me in!

I definitely do not know what the future holds, for any of us.  I know I trust my intuition and it's telling me to get busy.  To move it forward. Each of us has our own path and journey, I love the old ways.  I'm not ready to walk away from them.  I'm really okay being old-fashioned. 

Well... time to get busy, have a great and productive day!

love and peace...