the art of unbusy...

Up early, refreshed and ready to start the day!

Actually I've already started.  Kitchen is cleaned and ready for me to start doing some of the practices in my cooking class.  I have to tell you, the part leading up to this was boring me to NO end... I guess I know more about cooking than I thought and it was drudgery.

I used my new linen kitchen towels that I made yesterday, I am in love!  There will definitely be more of those in my future!  Not only do they look so awesome, they work fantastic.  Hubs and I were both a bit skeptical. 

I love those little successes.

So... I've been pondering what unbusy really means to me.  I don't do well with just sitting and doing basically nothing.  It simply isn't in my DNA, Hubs can relax into a movie and sit still for hours.  Part of me envies him that.  The other part cannot figure out how he hasn't gone batty.

For me, unbusy looks a lot more like having time that isn't structured or full of external demands.  A chance to simply do the things that fill my mental and emotional bucket.  I am a very creative person.  I feel the most fulfilled when I have the chance to be "doing".  Even watching a movie involves my hands moving - one of the primary reasons I don't like going to movie theaters.  It requires me to sit, just sit.  Ugghhh... can anyone say torture chamber?

I don't even sit well in a training or meeting.  I get distracted and my mind starts to wander, I mean seriously wander.  I start looking for that escape in my mind that my body cannot achieve in that moment.  But let me have even a pen and piece of paper to keep my hands mindlessly moving and my brain can completely engage again.

Yesterday was a very unbusy day for me.  I felt refreshed and rested.  Yet reflecting back, I accomplished so many things. The difference was that they were things that made me feel whole.  Things that filled me and enriched me.  Things that allowed me to grow and learn in areas that are important to me.

It wasn't spreadsheets, reports, forms, etc.  I don't mind those things, they are a part of my job.  I love my job most days.  But it doesn't meet all the needs that I have as a person.  And it shouldn't. And of course I dream about the day when I can retire and return to being a homemaker. 

There are many things that I miss about life.  I have a busy and consuming career, some things have been put on the shelf.  I will dust them off some day and resume where I left off.  But for now, when I can find those moments to look at them, touch them, renew my acquaintance with them - well I treasure those moments.

As I was sitting at my sewing machine yesterday, I was completely engrossed in what I was working on, but there were moments my mind started to wander to the half finished projects on the shelves (those darn shelves again) that were calling out.  Reminding me that they were there.  The pile of quilt tops on the dresser were literally shouting for me to take one down and load it on the long arm.  Pleading to be completed.  I could hear my heart softly whispering to them that their time was coming. 

And it is.

I am fairly positive that I will be putting one on the frame before the winter comes.  I'm longing to stand there work the designs in that will take it from being a quilt top, to being a finished useful quilt. It needs a bit more "unbusy" time than I have right now.  But winter and it's stillness are coming. 

I was even daydreaming about bringing one of my quilting frames upstairs, putting one of the old quilt tops that I inherited on it and starting to hand quilt it.  That is probably going to happen sooner than later also. 

I just have a few more projects that are dear to my heart that have more of a timeline to complete first.  I want all of the soaps done before the middle of November.  They all need cure time, not every soap I make is a melt and pour - one and done kind of thing.  In fact most of them are not. Hubs is often giving them away for Christmas gifts.  I sometimes sell a few of them, but mostly, I simply love the smell they give our home.

I have to work today, we are working on giving our fitness center a face lift, it's a very intense project that is requiring a bit of time and attention.  Before I go though, I feel like I will engage in a bit more "unbusy". 

I have several batches of soap that I want to complete, I want to do my practices, and of course I feel like there should be a few more inches put onto the wrap I am making for myself.

Over the course of this year, I have been working on doing more things that fill my bucket.  Things that improve my health be it physical or mental.  Hubs has been along for the ride.  I have to say I believe the key thing in my world is his undying love and support.  His understanding of who I am as a person. 

Yesterday he made a comment that had me smiling for hours.  He had taken a nap while I was sewing.  Before heading downstairs to relax with a movie, he leaned over my shoulder with a soft kiss and said "all is right with the world".  I asked what he meant and he explained that I was creating, I was in my happy place.  And that it made him happy too.

His eagerness to be my test buddy when I make new soaps, recipes, etc, is powerful stuff.  Unless it involves avocado (and he's getting better about that - although his favorite way to have avocado is in the soap he loves) it rarely requires any coaxing.

I guess in my long, roundabout way, and thinking through it all.  For me, unbusy isn't stopping.  It's moving on to the things that keep me fulfilled as a person.  I have to grow, learn, create.  For me it is as essential as sleeping and eating.  I don't do well with the status quo. 

Well the big boy is waiting for his long morning walk and Hubs has gone back upstairs to sleep a bit longer. So I guess Neeko and mom are going to go and enjoy this beautiful morning.  At least it isn't raining... then it is back to being unbusy!

the gift of time...

Dearest Mother Earth, thank you for the gift of this beautiful rainy autumn day. Thank you for the gift of stopping and slowing down.  Of doing the things that fill my heart and soul with love and joy.

This day has been just what I needed to soothe my weary soul.  When it is nice and sunny outside mentally I have to be "busy".  Running errands, accomplishing to do lists that seem all important.  Does the yard need work, do I need to go and do... I see a sunny day and my mind kicks into over drive.  I feel guilty wasting the beautiful day.

I originally woke at 3:30 am this morning.  Hubs and I are in an ongoing battle with our Nest thermostat.  We are very worn with it changing the temperature we set.  It seems to always want us warmer than we want to be. This morning, it woke me up over heated due to the fact that the heater we set at 67 before going to bed, somehow miraculously reset itself to 70 overnight.  After resetting it to 67, I decided to read, I didn't want to be up.  I have been doing far too much of that lately and it is wearing me down.

It wasn't raining as I lie there reading and trying to fight off that ever present to do list in my mind.  I was very aware that this is my only day off this week.  That there was much to accomplish or at least that is what I want to make myself believe, but I simply didn't want to be awake.

As the heater stopped pumping that warm air around me and I cooled down I felt the heavy presence of sleep beckoning me back.  Next thing I knew, it was 8:30 am and what woke me was the pounding of raindrops hitting the chimney top.  The wind whistling reassured me I wasn't dreaming.  I'd just mentally been gifted a day!

Still semi-asleep I navigated the stairs to the kitchen, in search of coffee.  I never get that much sleep and almost felt drugged from it. My sweet Hubs had just the cure, Lucy's and coffee... Yum! If it didn't wake me, it might put me back to nap time.

He joined me in the living room, hot coffee, windy rain, and a television show about the infancy stage of technology.  It was quite interesting.  I sat and mindlessly knit for a couple of hours, no guilt was present.  It felt so wonderful.  The yarn sliding through my fingers, the needles rhythmic clicking, the rain, the wind, the wind chimes sweetly moving. 

It was about an hour in, that I decided to relish and savor this gift of a day.  Groceries could wait, laundry... that too!  I was stealing this moment in time.

After our show was over and I'd switched to straight black coffee, I mean I wanted to enjoy the day not drift through it in a blur, I sat for a moment and pondered what I wanted this day to hold.  Hubs went upstairs for his morning nap, and I watched a few lessons.  Glancing up several times to watch the brilliant red orange tree outside my bay window doing some crazy swirling dance. 

For a moment my eyes rested on my neglected spinning wheel.  But my heart wasn't being pulled there, it would have to sit for a bit longer. As I got up to refill my coffee I walked past all the piles of soap making supplies that had arrived.  My favorite company has a large sale on kits, so I got the bonus of more molds and everything pre-measured.  As my gaze lingered a few more moments, I decided I might as well whip up a couple of batches of the melt and pour Cashmere that Hubs likes.  And that Galaxy Soap was definitely trying to get my attention.  Why not...

Oh wait... yep the linen that I had purchased to make dishtowels was calling out from my sewing room.  The soap was going to have to wait.  Full cup of coffee, phone to provide soothing music and I closed myself into my sewing room.  It's the first project I have worked on since cleaning it.  It was such a soothing experience to walk in, have everything at hand and simply start.  No clearing space, no digging through piles, simply a space and time to start. 

I will admit there was a moment of panic when I couldn't find a single measuring tape.  Not one.  And I have LOTS!  Opening my antique cabinet from Poland I quickly discovered the drawer that I had stashed them all and I was off and running.

I know that you can buy dishtowels super cheap - I get it.  I mourn that we have reached a point in our world where people just rush out to the store to purchase whatever is needed.  Where we are less self-sufficient and more wasteful of resources.  I long for days gone by, where there was a plan for things like that.  Where making a dishtowel was common place, a necessity to be able to accomplish chores.

It only took an hour to cut and sew the seams on the linen.  I knew they needed to be washed, dried and then ironed before they could be used. Supposedly, they will never need to be ironed again.  We will see.  They are also supposed to be super absorbent.  I'll do some dishes later to give that a test.

I ultimately decided to make a couple batches of the melt and pours.  They turned out very nice.  Hubs is already eyeballing the Galaxy with its soft violet scent, he is my official soap tester, he requires lots of lather and a good scent for it to pass his test.

Now the towels are done, oh yeah, I might have finished some other mending that had been waiting for my attention (I will always fix something if I can, I hate to through things out). The soaps are mostly out of the molds - these ones don't require sitting to cure - they are ready to roll.  I've done several lessons and sat and rested.

This gift of a day, has been exactly what I needed.  A chance to rest, relax and catch up.  Mother Earth knew what my heart and soul needed, this rain was supposed to be gone by ten.  Here it is after five and it's still raging on. 

In a moment Hubs and I will get dressed, we are going to stop by a Halloween party that my boss is throwing, we ended up missing it last year. After that... maybe I will do a few of those "chores", since I will already to be out and about.. That way tomorrow only involves me working on my lessons, a day for cooking and learning new skills...

We will see.

soapy...

So... yesterday I might have gotten wrapped up in soap making, just a little bit.  Or maybe a lot.  There are currently 4 brand new batches in molds, scenting up the house with the batch of Wild Rose from last weekend. Depending on which way you turn you will smell roses, lemongrass and tea tree, white lily and aloe or raspberry ale.  Not to mention the aging soaps that are already keeping the new ones company. 

I was only going to make the one, get the supplies off the counter now that I had a enough beer ice cubes.  I didn't intend to go soap making crazy.  I didn't.  But it was misty cool outside, and I rapidly found myself melting right along with the oils and butters. 

I have had the ingredients for a long minute or two.  I just hadn't found the time.  I kept telling myself that there simply was not enough time for me to dig in and make soap.  I created something bigger than it was, and I'm not really sure why.

As I stirred the beer ice cubes and lye together, I became mesmerized.  If you haven't made soap you might not realize that when lye is added to the liquid, the result can often get very hot, very quickly. Watching the reaction between the beer cubes and lye was so different.  As I stirred to melt them down, watching it become a dark cloudy liquid I felt the calmness sinking in that creating often causes. 

Raspberry Ale Soap

Before I knew it, the Raspberry Ale soap was molded, the top sprinkled with poppy seeds, looking a bit darker than anticipated. And I was already starting the next batch of lye water.  I couldn't stop myself.  The careful measuring, the steady rhythm of the steps.  The consistency. I kept telling Hubs I was going to be done "after this batch"... 

the towels are keeping the Triple Butter warm

One batch of the awesome Triple Butter led into another.  I buy this one as a kit, the measuring is all done for me, less waste that way, and I hadn't realized I had bought those two with molds.  No reason to slow down to wait for a mold.  The scent vaguely reminiscent of Fruit Loops.  Lemongrass and Tea Tree oils mix together in a clean, slightly fruity scent. 

I really wanted to make the Caffeinated batch, but realized I only had one ice cube tray (recently vacated of the frozen beer cubes) and needed frozen coffee for that one.   Quick wash while the super strong pot of coffee was brewing means that I can make that one today. 

Not ready to stop, I started looking through recipes that I had in a nice neat pile.  Soaps that I have purchased all the ingredients for, yet hadn't made time to make.  Before I knew it and yes after I had cleaned up completely, I found myself preparing the embed for the beautiful Chrysanthemum Soap that has lingered in my I wanna do pile for over a year. 

I finally stopped when I ran out of disposable gloves.  I am not a fan of lye burns.  They aren't terrible, but why cause pain if you don't need to.  Those random little flecks that flit around during the process of making lye water bite. 

Chrysanthemum Soap - White Lily and Aloe scented

I will get some more gloves today.  I have several other soaps that I am hoping to finish.  The calm that it brings is something I need in my crazy world right now... 

Well, time to get this day started... Enjoy your Sunday!

hurrying...

As I was driving to work today I wasn't chatting with anyone, I was simply listening to music and absorbing my surroundings.  I was lost in a million thoughts about what I was seeing and for a moment in time in awe of the sheer volume of cars on the highway as I drove in.

Actually it started before I even left to head to work.  Hubs and I were a bit delayed in walking Neeko, he was being lazy and didn't want to get out of bed - truthfully neither did I - so we got ready before taking him out.  He'd woken daddy up for a middle of the night potty, he felt no need to rise and shine.  We were walking him, enjoying the sunrise far off to the east, watching the sky get progressively brighter not even 6:30 am on a beautiful Saturday morning.  And all around us the world was already springing to life.  

Neighbors leaving in their cars, walking and getting exercise.  People simple were up and ready to face the world. 

It got me to wondering what happened to the lazy weekend mornings my sisters and I enjoyed as kids.  Laying around in our pj's, munching on our toast or cereal, watching our favorite cartoons on piles of pillows and blankets. I mean sure we had weekend activities, but they didn't start until later in the day.  There was always time to simply be. 

About 45 minutes later I'm heading into work.  Driving along.  Absorbing everything around me.  Trying to merge onto the highway that takes me into the heart of the city and my Y, I realize there are almost as many cars as there are Monday through Friday.  Everyone in a hurry to get somewhere.  

Hazy drivers, gulping down coffee or some other beverage.  Often looking dazed and blinded by the morning light.  Little cars packed with the types of signs you see when there are estate sales or open houses.  Trucks heading to job sites. 

Do we ever rest anymore?

Can we?

Hubs was off bright and early, he was taking advantage of not having to take time off work to do some routine lab work, there is a lab that is open on Saturday's down the road a bit from our home, he figured if he headed in early he'd be in and out.  Or maybe not... seems 4 other folks had the same idea. 

I turned down one of the residential streets that would take me to the branch, I see another group of men gathered around a house that is under renovation, by the huge dumpster in the drive, my guess was they were getting ready to put a new roof on. All of them bundled up in layers to take off as the chill of the morning gives way to the beautiful fall day we have been promised. 

Pulling into our back parking area, I see the sports director off in the fields, working on making sure the stripes are crisp and clean, that nothing had disturbed them overnight.  The morning mist was still rising from the fields.  It was still hazy out.  The sun just cresting above all the buildings and trees.  

Soon the kids would start arriving, soon there would be tons of activity. 

I guess for some reason, I am struggling with the constant factor of life today.  The lack of times to shut off the alarm and simply exist.  The cups of coffee on the deck while the sun rises and the crisp air surrounds us.

I was blessed to be part of a retreat this week.  They held it at the zoo.  I sometimes struggle with the offerings.  Not because they aren't good, but because they don't often speak to me and my personal needs.  Each of us are different and have a different path we are following, so as the adage goes you cannot please everyone all of time... This one was different.  I encountered very few negative Nellies. And the focus was on personal development.  Not career development, although that definitely was a great side benefit for our Y. 

It did not hurt that my assigned table was right in front of a HUGE window that formed a side the one of the aquariums at Rivers Edge.  Because it was so calming to watch the giant catfish meander through the waters.

They had different speakers that focused on us as people.  My favorite yogi, did a great presentation on meditation and the value it brings to you.  I have to say, I was so excited that was my first presentation of the day.  I enjoyed it so much, and think I need to get her to make a few YouTube video's on mediation. I was sharing it with Hubs this morning.  Asking him to explore it deeper with me.  I felt so good after starting my morning out like that.  It was also interesting to think about all the times I find myself completely engrossed in one of my hobbies, that I am actually in a state of meditation.  No wonder I always feel better after times of intense creativity. 

The next one for me was on True Colors - I had never heard of this, and found it intensely interesting and accurate.  I wasn't at all surprised by my outcome.  I was the prefect split between blue and gold with strong green tendencies... And almost zero orange.  I know that sounds as silly as it comes, but what it comes down to is that I am a perfect mix of a relater and builder, with a strong tendency towards planning and I am absolutely not an adventurer! When I looked at the definitions for both of my strong categories, it was shockingly spot on!  The pro's and the con's.  And I couldn't relate at all to the orange categories - completely not who I am as a person!  But it was interesting and engaging and I always feel that knowing about who you are as a person and the people you surround yourself with makes stronger relationships!

The final one was a mental health presentation.  By far my least favorite, it simply didn't speak to me, but I did get some helpful tidbits.  

The final part was a scavenger hunt throughout the zoo.  I love our zoo!  And I got to really get to know some of my peers and co-workers better.  It definitely filled my bucket!

It felt for a moment like slowing down and putting things into perspective.  In a week full of insanity in the rush about world.  It was nice to slow down and breathe. 

Still really questioning where we are pushing ourselves to, what the outcome is.  This non-stop hurrying about isn't really good for anyone.

I feel like all of us need a moment or two where we simply stop. We need to focus on us. 

I am as guilty as the next, after all this morning, required me coming to work... actually it will be another week before I have a full day off.  I'm already feeling the six days I've completed this week.  I struggled hard to get up this morning. 

Rushing home for work it was definitely time for a hygge moment or two... A hot bowl of Chickpea and Potato Curry with some yummy fresh baked bread for lunch and another batch of soap is curing.  That's two...

My bucket is feeling empty, I needed some me time!

Getting ready to make a few more batches of soap and take a few more chapters of my cooking class. And if I am not too tired, I think I might head up to my sewing room. I need to be creative. 

into focus...

Ugghhh... I hate when my plans go awry before 6 am.  It is not a good signal to a productive day. In fact it is downright frustrating.  I went to be super early last night, for some reason I was beyond exhausted.  So... of course I woke up super early and full of energy. 

Bonus round right?  Before 5 am I had completed the custom order Hubs needed placed and taken the big guy out front.  I was feeling in control of life, so I decided I might as well get a batch of soap whipped up and curing.  Since I didn't get one made yesterday I figured I would make up for it today.

I was crazy excited too, because I have been wanting to give this Raspberry Ale a go.  I wasn't a huge fan of the scent, but figured it couldn't hurt to give it a true test.  Besides, I was eager to try a beer based soap. I've made one with coffee, one with coconut milk, but never beer.  I prepped the beer about a month ago, it's been down in the freezer ready to go... or so I thought.

Needless to say, I am now prepping more beer.  Because boiled down and frozen did not yield half the amount I needed.

I guess I will be making soap tonight instead.

That little hiccup totally derailed me.  I have other recipes I could have started on, but frankly, I absolutely did not have the desire.  All my ingredients are prepped.  Lined up nicely on the counter where I needed them to be, I didn't want to mess up my plan.

It's not the end of the world, I will just be ready for tonight.  Sometimes it's hard to find the rose colored glasses that I often wear.

I guess it was just a sign for me to focus on something less time consuming this morning.  I do have to be in early, we are preparing for a major renovation starting this weekend and it's time to start getting organized and planning.  Equipment is leaving on Friday, and while 14 pieces doesn't sound like much, it will leave some serious holes and we need to be careful about managing our members experience.  This weekend starts a very long month.  It will be almost non-stop.  But it will be the perfect face lift for our almost 20 year old building when it's finished.

The house smells of warm beer now, Hubs was saying how he's now craving a German Pretzel and a nice beer... brat... although our house definitely has a faint Bier Garden smell. Hmmm... maybe I should take that as an omen.

Actually, I think I will steal these few extra moments of time that I have been gifted with and head up to the sewing room.  I have linen dishtowels that I have been wanting to work on.  My creative soul needs feeding.  It's autumn, I start to feel an overwhelming need to create, to nest as the temperature drops. It doesn't matter it if is sewing, soaping, fibers, wood, cooking, crystals.  I just need to create. 

I know I have said it before, I truly could have been a pioneer woman.  I long for a garden or greenhouse.  I love taking care of my home and family.  Maybe I just needed this extra time this morning to reflect on who I am.  I often get caught up in being who I need to be, that I forget who I am at my very soul.  I neglect the innate nurturer, the creative woman that lives at the very heart of who I am. I get wrapped up in checking off boxes and taking care of life.

Yep, I guess the universe knew what I was needing.  I am feeling calmer in my heart since sitting down to write, to focus on the who and not the what.  I'm still bummed that I am behind on my soaps, yet, I feel refreshed and focused.  Pausing and thinking has allowed me that moment I needed.  While writing I have paused several times to jot down notes, things that have been running free range in my mind that I have been unable to capture. 

I feel focused, I feel calm, I feel ready for this beautiful day!

 

a time to ignore...

The river was calling, we might have ignored it. 

Both of us were dressed and ready.

We enjoyed the morning at Veg Fest, tried so many new things, met new people and marveled at the incredible turn out.  We truly enjoyed the sunny, crisp morning. Found an amazing pizza, all the ingredients for a completely vegan charcuterie plate, tasted so many cheezes, and enjoyed a scoop of vegan sorbet from Clementines.

We had such a wonderful morning, enjoying the sights, sounds, scents and tastes.  As we were walking back to the car, down the hill, enjoying the day we decided to skip the river. We knew the river would wait.

Both of us were tired.  We've been working a lot.  Hours have been long and there hasn't been much opportunity for rest.  In fact this weekend is pretty much the only one that we could steal the majority of just for us for the next few weeks.  It will be November before there is a chance to take a complete breath.

So we opted to breath.  We came home, we napped, we sat out back on our deck and enjoyed the colors and fall day rocking on the deck. I put together our charcuterie plate and opened a nice bottle of local red wine.

Enjoying the day with my best friend... Priceless!

This morning before we left I managed to get a batch of soap made, the kitchen area is currently filled with the soft scent of wild roses.  I cannot wait to unmold and cut it.  I am so excited to see the beauty of the colors, the gentle swirls are things that will reveal themselves.

I thought about starting on the Raspberry Ale Soap, the ice cubes have been frozen for over a month, instead I am curled up in my chair enjoying a Hallmark movie with my sweet Hubs.  A Walton's Wedding, I loved the Walton's. So needless to say, I am enjoying this evening. 

I didn't plan to slow down, I didn't plan to rest.  I am thankful that we have.  I needed it.

just being...

Is there anything better than an unbusy, busy autumn weekend?  Yesterday was a great day.  Full of adventures, fun, relaxation and a bit of busy. Today promises more of the same.

The sun is still snoozing, it's off in the East tucked into bed.  The air all around us is crisp and refreshing and the colors of autumn are just starting to pop. I love this time of year! I have more energy and the desire to just "be" is so strong. 

It brings on a sense of nesting.  I don't really decorate for most holidays anymore - Christmas being the exception.  I don't feel a need to put out Halloween goodies, I much prefer getting out the blankets to cuddle in, maybe a few more candles or a more earthy incense.  Things that make you feel that fall comfort factor that I love so much. 

Before we headed out the the Farmer's Market, Psychic Fair and craft show yesterday I took an hour to make a batch of soap.  It wasn't one that required measuring or anything else.  Just a melt and pour kit that I had purchased some time ago.  It smells heavenly!  Whoever thought of that scent in conjunction with cashmere was pure genius! It's got flecks of pumpkin colored mica sprinkled throughout and smells soft and inviting.  Hubs asked if it was a guy soap or a girl soap... hmmm wasn't really sure how to answer that one.  Guess I better get the beer soap made soon?  Or maybe more of the tobacco scent... although I don't feel that any soap is particularly male or female. Maybe the one I am using right now, that is scented with Lily of the Valley would be a bit more feminine with it's gentle floral over tones.  But the smell doesn't last and the creamy healthy lather is what is important. 

Soon this day will get busy, I'm not sure what I am making us for breakfast, but I did go to the Farmer's Market and pick up my bread yesterday... toast and coffee sounds perfect!  With sliced up juicy pears and crisp apples.  I might have spent a good deal of time yesterday selecting just the right ones. 

After a nice breakfast, I will probably whip up another batch of soap before we head out today. I wasn't joking when I said I was getting quite low.  Not all of the ones on my to make list are melt and pour, and none of the current list is hot processed.  Which means that they will need six weeks to cure.  We are just barely two months from Christmas and Hubs and I often gift handmade soaps.  I figure if I can pull off a batch or two each weekend, I should be stocked up again pretty soon.

The river road is calling, and we must go today.  It's going to be mild, perfect motorcycle weather after lunch.  Although I am afraid that it is still too early for the beautiful fall colors, we are definitely going to go in search of them.  It's such a beautiful ride, we will buzz around Brussels and probably go up through Pere Marquette Park.  If our friends decide to meet us, we will definitely stop at our favorite little winery.  Share a bottle and some snacks and enjoy the view and the company.  That part of the day remains to be seen. 

What is definite is that we will start with a visit to VegFest.  I am really looking forward to it. I love events like that.  They seem very quintessentially autumn to me.  

Just like yesterday at the Farmers Market.  

The scents, the sounds, the vibrant colors and the conversations.  I had a most delightful time speaking to all of the vendors that I purchased from.  I might be a sucker, but I prefer the small mom & pop places.  I bought my tomatoes, cucumbers and zucchini from this sweet older couple.  Bundled up against the chill, not really hassling anyone to come to their little tucked away stand.  She was working hard, he was catching a quick nap.  I felt drawn to spend my dollars on them.

Hubs always stocks up on genuine Cuban black bean soup.  The couple make it, she is from Cuba, and sell it at the farmers markets.  Usually he and the owner share a cup of hot Cuban coffee and while he chats and sips, I walk over to the bread booth.  I had a great conversation with him and now know where I will buy my breads after the market season ends.  

Wandering on, Hubs made friends first with the dog, then with the owners and their daughter.  He sat and visited, making fast friends as he always does. That is out of my comfort zone, so I was chatting with the delightful couple that have an organic farm just a bit down the road from our house, buying a wide sampling of beautiful vibrant colored radishes and peppers.  The husband makes the most beautiful carved prints and the wife wrote a book that I decided I had to have.  Their life journey and how they have chosen to raise their family would have been an ideal dream for me a lifetime ago.  It was a pure joy to support them. 

I'd bought a black bean and sweet potato tamale that was cooling in my baskets beside Hub while he chatted and I shopped.  The pup had gone off with mom, but dad and his little princess were happily eating their meat tamales and discussing a variety of things with Hubs as I returned, somehow Hubs had steered the conversation to eating meatless and I ended up sharing my tamale with the group.  

I feel so many things that make life memorable and real revolve around a shared meal or food.  His sweet little girl was too afraid to try the tamale when presented by Hubs and I, but munched it right down when Dad gave it to her.  

I enjoyed every moment of experiences at the market yesterday, I mean I could have lived without "the market master's" rudeness to Hubs, but we've known him for almost 20 years, it is simply who he is.  The sad part was when he came over to speak to Hubs later to apologize, his excuse for rudeness - he hadn't realized it was Hubs when he spoke.  Reality... no one should be ugly to anyone, and you should speak as kindly to a stranger as to a friend.  Like I said, it is simply who he is as a person.  

I believe we should live our lives and treat people gently.  Not everyone does.  Loud, hateful, rude or just plain mean does not make you important, it simply makes you sad. 

We also try to always support the craft show at the Y Hubs is based out of.  We've been going for over 10 years, in fact I even had a booth one year.  I was a bit sad at what it has become after visiting it yesterday.  So few true craft people.  In fact, it was mostly things like Tupperware, Pampered Chef, LulaRoe, and cheesy bulk purchased items for sale.  Not my idea of a craft show at all.  And it was so much smaller than it used to be in it's heyday.  I guess all things run their course. 

There were a few true crafters present.  

I bought a gift for Christmas for my mom from the sweetest little elderly woman.  It is definitely NOT a manufactured item, she was sitting there as sweet as can be in her Sunday best working on items to put at her table.  We talked for a bit about the meaning of the item I was purchasing and how excited I was by the craft she had made with her own two hands.  I asked the younger woman if they accepted debit cards, because I rarely have cash (luckily Hubs had cash).  She sweetly told me no, they only took cash or checks, it wasn't a business, simply something they did for fun.  I took my package and thanked them, her bright smile made my day, her words even more so as she told me that I had just made her day! I don't know if she sold a lot of items.  Like I said, they were definitely made with love and her own two hands.  They reminded me so much of things my great grandmother made.  Not perfect in a technical sense, absolutely perfect in the care and love that went into them. 

Hubs got a wreath for my work door, another unique and handmade item.  It made me laugh, "the witch is in". Absolutely.  Anyone that knows me knows how absolutely accurate that is.  

And finally, a big bag of piping hot kettle corn, fresh from the kettle.  The sweet couple selling it were not a "resaler" of other items, they were running their own business. They appeared to be old enough to be retired, she was in a wheelchair and he was slaving over the hot kettle.  As we waited I listened to her chatting with another woman wearing a sweatshirt from the same school her grandson attends wanting to know if they'd won their football game. 

I find pure joy in things like that.  In supporting people that are giving it their all.  I chose to shop where my dollars do the most good, I eat at local restaurants, I support the small places, not a fan of chains. Because it does make a difference. 

Last night after a great event at my Y, enjoying the laughter and smiles, the splashes and mummies, Hubs and I stopped at our favorite sushi spot.  I was simply too tired to go home and cook, and playing earlier meant I hadn't prepared for being hungry later.  

I noticed the prices had gone up.  Not a lot, about fifty cents a roll.  I wonder how many folks thought about that being the outcome when they voted to raise the minimum wage so much, so fast.  I will still go there, because every time I walk in, I am greeted by the owner, he is truly appreciative that we are there.  They are attentive and want the experience to be wonderful.  Because we matter to their business.  They all thank us for coming as we leave and always wish us a good night.  

It is worth it. 

Today will be another day filled with adventures.  It will have a nice balance of home and self-sustaining activities.  Will everything get done, nope.  But I won't beat myself up about it either.  Because I am definitely coming to learn that life is not a race.  It's about learning, growing, creating, being.

Yep, for me, life is about being.  And what a beautiful time it is to simply be...

welcome autumn...

Alarm off, perfect sleeping weather, silent house... and of course I wake up 15 minutes before my alarm would have gone off, wide awake! How does that happen?  All week I struggle to wake up when it goes off, and when I can finally sleep, wide awake!  Ughh...

Maybe I just knew there was soon going to be a beautiful fire in the fireplace, a hot coffee liberally spiked with Buffalo Trace Bourbon Cream (that sweet hubs managed to find - it's a tough one).  The fall weather I have been craving has arrived with a vengeance, it's a whopping 34 degrees out there this morning.  Perfect for these warm flannel jammies, a fire and coffee... 

Sweet Hubs was supposed to be going fishing today, he definitely decided a trip to Potosi and sitting in a boat on a rural lake, definitely not warm enough for him.  The crappie are thankful.  So am I.  While I don't begrudge him a morning with his buddy, I am thankful to have most of this weekend back to spend with him.  I definitely feel like we do not get enough time. 

Now, to decide how to mix up the day... there are so many wonderful things going on this weekend.  I had planned on catching up on my cooking class, and I will probably do that here shortly after the coffee kicks in and I wake up fully.  I have been a cooking fool lately.  Not sure why it took so long to learn that vegan food was so freaking delicious.  The health factor is just an added bonus.  The fact that no sweet animals had to die for my dinner... well even bigger bonus round! There are still a few of the yummy donuts left for this mornings breakfast so I feel I will definitely kick back and be a bit lazy. 

On the cooking front it has been an awesome week.  I might have a few new favorites, this non-chili loving mama finally has a chili recipe that I cannot wait to serve.  And Curry... OMG!  I love curry, didn't realize that I would, but I started becoming addicted a few months back at my favorite Asian restaurant. Now that I have learned to make a vegan yellow curry... well that love affair is off the chain!  The warmth and gentle blending of the flavors is so wonderful.  I do have to admit that at 6 am on Wednesday, I was was the grocery to pick up more coconut milk... I'd made it the night before, we had both fallen in love with it, and there wasn't enough for both of us to have it again for lunch.  

Being a problem solver... I simply made another large pot.  Note I am beyond thankful to my sister in law for spotting those incredible cast iron Dutch ovens in Pigeon Forge... best purchase ever! I'm even over it for being mad at the beautiful lavender color that it is... I was so in love with the yellow, but it was out of stock. Now instead of being mismatched in my warm country kitchen it is an ever present "accent piece" on my stove.  Usually simmering something delicious. 

It will be far too chilly for us to go out and enjoy the fall colors on the bike today - we definitely considered it, and Veg Fest is not until tomorrow.  Anyone local going?  I am excited to get to stop by and enjoy it before we head up the river road to enjoy the lovely fall weekend.  So today will probably involve a trip to the Farmer's Market, they are rapidly waning as the weather cools.  I need some bread and a few fall veg.  Tower Grove has become my favorite, and despite the fact that Hubs thinks its the Bloody Mary's... that isn't the only reason, but it definitely doesn't hurt. There is also the physic fair at Mystic Valley and the craft show at the South County Y. So many fun things to do this weekend, but for now it's just time for sitting.  

I also want to make a few soaps, my stash is getting thin - Hubs has been loving on friends lately.  I have a few recipes and new essentials that I am dying to try out.  Right now that simply seems like so much to do. 

I bought some fabulous blue, black and natural stripped linen to make some dishtowels with.  I love using a nice linen dishtowel and the pattern is so simple.  I figure an hour work will yield six beautiful, super absorbent new towels. If they turn out as nice as I hope, I may have to purchase a bit more and clean out the towel drawer.  Some of those have been living there for over a decade or maybe two.   

It's been a brutal week, budgets and presentations take it out of me. My insomnia of Wednesday night has still not been recovered from.  I was so concerned about presenting that I literally could not sleep and flat out gave up at 3 am.  I don't know why it stresses me so badly, but it does. I spent all day Thursday in a state of high stress.  Reality check, they are simply people, and in 5 years it isn't going to matter at all.  But I felt like my entire world depended on it.  Ugghhh...  Add to that a fitness center redo... and this Y gal is worn. 

Tonight is the Pumpkin swim, it will be a fun event.  It is literally the only "work" I intend to do this weekend. The rest of it will simply be for me to reset and refocus.  Between sickness and budget I am feeling very unbalanced.  

A beautiful sunrise is peeking through the trees, it's beckoning me to enjoy and play... I do hope each of you finds the joy and love in this weekend... Find the time to fill your bucket and enjoy your lives... each one is precious!

Crackling embers, hot coffee and a beautiful sunrise...  bring it on!

joy..

Blessings abound!  

I woke up this morning for the first time in over a week able to breathe, it feels fantastic.  A lingering headache and slight sniffles are all that seem to remain. I'm thankful.  Definitely ready to be over this mess!

Right now my house is filled with the warm scents of autumn.  Pumpkin, spices, whipped maple and the warmth of chocolate. Feeling better this morning led to my deciding to make Pumpkin Spiced Chocolate Chip Donuts.  The recipe is in "The Vegan 8" cookbook, by Brandi Doming.  I giggle when I read the title, it evidently refers to the recipes containing 8 simple ingredients. Yet, every time I make a recipe from it, it reads the vegan ate... they are all amazing!  This woman is a genius. 

I am not a fan of the pumpkin spice epidemic that has hit our country at the first signs of fall. I do not like the fake flavors.  They actually repulse me.  So I was a bit concerned that these were going to have that same taste.  But I was longing for the gentle flavors I remembered as a kid.  The taste of fresh baked pumpkin breads and muffins. I figured worse case scenario - they go out for the birds and squirrels.  

Nope, we will not be sharing these.  

This weekend we bought a yummy whipped maple syrup from an Iowa farmer, it can be used in place of butter on toast and such.  Hubs came up with the idea to drizzle it on the donuts.  The smells, the flavors, all of it came together in a taste explosion!

I will definitely be making another batch.  Now I am curious as to how they keep.  This journey is awesome!

Last night, I decided to be creative and we had bbq bean ball sandwiches... same cookbook.  The leftovers will be lunch today.  I never realized eating clean, plant based, oil free meals was going to be not only delicious, but definitely not boring.  

And to think most of my curiosity was fed by my sweet yogi!  That woman has impacted my life in so many wonderful ways.  Everyone needs a friend like her, or maybe a dozen.  It wasn't an over night journey, it was a slow, years long process.  Yet she never judged or pushed me to see what she was saying.  She simply was herself.   A living example of health and peace.  Always willing to share, but never harsh.  She shared some vegan Facebook groups, told me of how much better she and her husband felt.  Thanked my silly efforts at insuring we had a vegan dish at all events - I now realize how much that means. 

I want to be like her, I want to be a living testament to the difference a plant based diet makes in ones life. I never want to be judgy, but I forever want to support. 

I guess you never know what I am going to decide to write about.  I still remember my sweet cousin years ago telling me I needed to decide what my blog was going to be about before I started writing.  Well, it's been almost 7 years that I have been writing... guess what, I still don't know what I am going to write about.  I guess it's just my crazy, mixed up journey through life... 

I love every single step, the good, the bad, the silly, the serious, the lessons... all of it makes the beautiful tapestry that is my life.  

Yep... I'm blessed... 

another week...

I slept through the alarm again.  And have been rushing like crazy ever since.  This cold is seriously kicking my bum. It is definitely a 10 - 14 day recovery.  Even taking medicine, which leads me to believe, or rather confirms my belief, that the medicine does nothing more than make some big pharma company a bit more money. As I am channeling my inner "Edith Ann" swinging my feet and saying "and that's the truthhhhh".

I don't really have the time to sit here, I should be jumping in the shower, getting ready to tackle another day.  Today, I need a slower start.  I have only been awake for an hour, and I've fixed breakfast, packed lunches, walked the dog and ironed Hub's clothes for the week.  Not bad.  But for a moment, I need to sit.  I need to drink my coffee and enjoy the silence of this cool Autumn morning. 

My back/hips are still hurting from the every uncomfortable bench I sat on at brunch yesterday.  Won't be making that mistake again.  They were not designed with comfort in mind.  They look welcoming, cozy and a place that beckons you to linger.  Reality they are angled like a mid-evil torture device.  I should have given in and soaked yesterday it might have helped loosen the muscles.  This stupid cold won yesterday and I didn't do much of anything at all!

I don't do well when challenged with illness. I do not have the patience and it is starting to show.  I know I am being cranky, I don't like things to slow my stride.  I will naturally slow it myself when I need rest, external (or in this case internal) forces are not needed.

Nothing on the want to do list really got accomplished.  Well sort of.  Hubs did get me the perfect knitting needles and I have a few beautiful inches of lace worked up.  It's a hand dyed skein of the most lovely shades of blue.  And for a change it is for me. He also snuck in a skein of beautiful blue alpaca yarn, I was eyeing it to make him a scarf - I think he would look wonderful in that color.  He thought I was looking at it for me, nope.  So once I finish mine, I feel I shall start on his.

Laundry is still semi-finished. No cooking class happened - I wasn't able to find a zucchini for my "cutting demo" - how does everyone run out of zucchini in the fall? The soaps are still just day dreams in my mind.  Yep... completely unproductive. 

Unless, like me you consider slowing down and connecting with family productive.  Hours spent with grands, a long leisurely swing in the girls backyard while the chili simmered on the stove.  Chats and emails, simply being.  Healing.

Hubs had to rush off to work today, lately 7:30 am is the "cool" time to have meetings.  I completely do not understand it, but hey... That's a bit brutal on a Monday morning, but I'm not judging.  Not at all.

As a result, I had the honor of taking the Neeko for his morning walk.  Bundled up in my favorite Harley jacket we strolled off in the early morning light.  The sun hadn't quite risen, and everything was a soft pink gray.  It was beautiful.  We got to see a beautiful white tailed deer.  Head held high bouncing across the road.  I love that we live close enough to the country to have critters and close enough to the city to be able to do things.  I could probably move a bit more "out"... but I also love living just up the hill from my favorite little people.

Mr. Neeks is really slowing down.  He's almost 15, unheard of for his breed.  Hubs and I both have been having a lot of Gator dreams, they seem so real.  It worries me. I am wondering if he's just trying to break it to us that soon he will meet Neeko at the Rainbow Bridge.  I know he's an extreme senior, but he is our last baby and I assure you I am not ready for that kind of silence in the house.

We've both been very guilty of spoiling him a bit more.  Buying his favorite snacks and taking longer walks.  Extra snuggles, why of course. I worry a bit more each day.  I am definitely not ready to pack away toys and beds.  Not yet, I wonder if I truly will ever be ready.  I am also not ready to lose all of them in the same year, so he needs to slow it down and bit and just enjoy being the only child.

I'm seeing the sun sneaking over the top of the trees.  That must mean it is about time to head upstairs and get ready for the day.  I might be dragging my feet a bit.  I have a presentation to finish building.  I hate giving presentations, so I am fairly sure somewhere deep in my subconscious I am telling myself if I don't finish it I won't have to present it.  Nope, I will have to present it on Thursday, whether I am ready or not. Better to be ready.

 I cannot understand why the weekend flies so quickly by, but it did... Have a great week!