the real meaning?

Silence has once again been found, Belle has decided that lying quietly in the kennel chewing on her teething bone is not something to be distraught about.  Beau is pretty laid back, so he was okay with it. It's nap time, we've been going strong since 4 am.  Momma needs a break, my coffee is long since ice cold and I had not had enough sleep when they were ready to roll.  My fault, I put them to bed far too early.  My leg was aching yesterday and I was exhausted, so we went to bed early.  Note to self: tough it out moving forward.  Soon that 8 hour restful night will be the norm, not the unexpected surprise. 

I am slowly adjusting to this new lifestyle, the new routine is different, but definitely not bad.  They are so precious and they definitely keep one another entertained.  They also keep my hopping, literally, over puppies, toys, chasing, stopping, redirecting and of course feeding and potty breaks.  I wouldn't change it for the world, although I am considering some barricades in the house to make containment a bit easier while they are still small. 

Yesterday was a brutal reminder that I am still recovering from major surgery and that my poor knee did not have time to rest from our trip, I need to think this through a bit more. It's a learning curve. 

Over this holiday season, the one created by commercialism and the media, I noticed a lot of folks, myself included, making the comment that they could not get into the holiday spirit.  It has really been niggling at my mind and my heart.  The why of it.  

I struggled hard with so much of the "commercialism" and expectations this year. I got lost in the have to's and didn't want to do any of it. It felt forced, it felt unnatural. Yet as the holiday itself rolled around and I lost myself more in the flow of doing what was best for our family, I felt such joy and relaxation about it all.  I can't be the only one.  

I used to be that die hard, programmed person.  The tree goes up the day after Thanksgiving, the house and outside decorations completed and ready. Most of my gifts were bought and ready by the second week of December (wrapping was another story). Cookies, that would often remain uneaten, were baked by the dozens around the work week schedule. If any presents were opened early, it was just like when I was a little girl and it could be one from far away on Christmas eve along with our traditional Christmas eve pajamas.  And Christmas gifts (far too many and most of it unneeded) were opened in the wee hours of Christmas morning. Christmas dinner was prepared, almost a mirror image of the Thanksgiving feast, just slightly smaller.  And then on New Years Day the tree and trimmings came down and a complete cleaning of the house happened. That is simply how it all worked.  

Are the Christmas movies and shows simply to show us what we are supposed to do, because someone will financially benefit from it?  I long for the old holiday movies focused on treating one another good and spreading love and joy. Instead of the over the top productions that create a false sense of failure if you don't reach the benchmarks being set. 

Is that what I thought being in the Christmas spirit was? Slowly this has changed, evolved, and actually improved for us.  The first time my daughter asked us to switch I was mind boggled, I felt a shock to my life long habit.  Not that celebrating Christmas on a different day was a bad thing, the reason was solid.  Not all of her kids would be able to be home for Christmas day.  This year we switched it up again.  We moved it all a day earlier, the youngest was supposed to spend the holiday with her Daddy, but had a cough and stayed home. 

The strange thing about it was that those very changes made the holiday far more special.  We spent time with family in Alabama at the start of the month, opening gifts and enjoying each other.  Then we moved on to celebrating with family in Arkansas over the week before Christmas, again opening gifts and enjoying time together.  With the switch of the traditional day with the girls we also had time to spend with the rest of the family on Christmas day and we've moved on to celebrating with friends as we've moved into this week. The kids have been able to spend the time with more family and friends also, it has eliminated that feeling of not being there for everyone. 

I was so happy to find that useful gifts was a theme.  It wasn't about quantity, it was all about quality and usefulness (although my daughter went way overboard - I also understand her reasoning and I am very excited about her gift - feeling spoiled and like it was too much, but it will completely be used!). Each gift given and received had so much thoughtfulness and purpose behind it. 

Hubs only got me two impractical gifts, at least in the usefulness category, but my heart needed them more than I realized.  These puppies are filling a void I didn't realize I had. 

I guess what I am trying to say, is that breaking out of the traditional constructs of what this holiday has been created to be, has filled me with the true spirit of Christmas.  I have been doing so much research into this time of the year, the many layers that have all combined to create it. I am not finished looking into the history and traditions and I am sure that I will change my thoughts even more moving forward. 

I didn't spend a stupid amount of time decorating and found the most joy in the simplest of decorations.  There aren't a ton of lights, there is just enough to be festive and not overwhelming.  I kept myself true to my word and severely limited the shopping and made a gift for every person.  My heart soared with joy when my girl actually sent me a picture telling me she loved her hat and would take another in gray.  My nephew wore his to work, and families and friends have been sending me pictures of them wearing theirs.  

I didn't bake a stupid amount of cookies and all of them were grain and sugar free.  Since I don't have any left, I will say they were a hit.  I have spent more time with people doing simple things.  Browsing antique shops and thrift stores, searching for treasures, sitting around talking and crafting, watching movies and laughing.  Meals have been far more simple, more about nourishing the body and the heart. 

Is this lack or missing of Christmas spirit, really a reawakening of what it is truly about?  One of my dear friends gave me the greatest gift yesterday, and although I love the beautiful handmade glass ornament delivered in a handmade card,  that wasn't it.  It was the gift of his precious time!  We sat and chatted for just over an hour, sipping a glass of homemade bourbon cream and visiting.  It filled my heart to bursting.

We have plans with friends spread over the next few days, we've moved on to celebrating birthdays now. And the new year will fall in there also.  

This slower, more natural flow feels wonderful. More heart filling.  More joyous.  Maybe, just maybe, people aren't lacking in Christmas spirit, just maybe the lock downs and chaos of the past two years have opened our hearts and minds to what is truly important.  It isn't about shopping, over indulgence, and over the top everything.  Maybe it's about simply being thankful and celebrating all of the people and joy we have in our lives.  It's about simplicity and precious time. 

I have truly loved how this season is unfolding.  Sure I missed seeing my boy and his girl in person, I would have loved a hug, yet somehow, seeing his smiling face as he opened his gifts and enjoyed his coastal holiday filled my heart to over flowing.  He is happy.  Our girls here in town filled our hearts with love and joy just by spending time with them.  And the puppies have lead to massive quality time with our youngest grands. 

I'll be honest I am hoping to keep my tree up through the true twelve days of Christmas, but puppies might dictate otherwise.  I am looking forward to gathering with more of my friends and family.  And I am simply enjoying the calm and peaceful moments that the puppies are allowing. 

Has anyone else discovered these feelings?  I feel like I am finally waking up from an over indulgent, depersonalized day dream, and that reality is so much more beautiful than the fantasy.  

I hope that all of you are enjoying this time, celebrating all of the gifts that life has surrounded you with, finding time to rest, relax, reconnect.  I also hope that you are planning to take those beautiful gifts with you forward into the coming year. 

Time to dash, puppies will be waking soon and I have a few orders to finish.  

love and peace... 

best life...

It's a lazy, hazy start to a full weekend ahead.  Hubs and I decided to stay around the house and do the things this weekend. We have "chores" that we have been ignoring a bit while we played.  This weekend is truly empty, there are a couple of craft shows that popped up on the events page, but nothing that inspires me to rush around and go to them. 

In fact, nothing is inspiring me to move from my cozy spot in front of the fireplace while the wind whips the dull brown leaves to the ground. I think we need to plant a red maple out back to add some beautiful color that lasts as the dark brown moves in. Yeah, I'm kidding, I really don't need anymore leaves to clean up, my lot is very wooded as it is. But the dull brown is a bit sad to see.  Luckily there are a few trees that are still vibrant green, so their beautiful colors are yet to come. 

I definitely didn't get everything on my list taken care of yesterday, instead, I played for most of the day.  I think I needed it. I started the zucchini chips early yesterday, I've been dying to try them and given how inexpensive zucchini is this time of year, I figured why not.  Worst case scenario, the possum would have a crunchy snack.  Best case scenario, Hubs and I would have a healthy snack that we could really enjoy with our meals.  I will modify the recipe a bit when I make them again, I sliced too thin.  I might also experiment with a few different balsamic vinegar's to enhance the flavors. But they are definitely on the list for preserving!  So tasty. 

Salt and Vinegar 
Zucchini Chips

My girl asked me to run errands and do some shopping with her and the little one.  I rarely get to spend quality time with them, so I had a blast!  Then unexpectedly my sister came to town, so we planned a family dinner.  I don't see my sisters often so it was nice to enjoy some time catching up.  The grands and my girl all joined us and some of us even saw the first snow flurries of the year. Hubs is still insisting that those of us that saw them are nuts and we sent him on a snipe hunt.  

My sister in Arkansas called with an update on the great nephew, it's pretty darn amazing news.  His life is going to be a real testament to faith, but it is very positive news.  Including the fact that the little bugger continues to grow and fight!  We now have an arrival date and will keep wrapping him in prayers and love!

It is always so nice to spend time with loved ones.  

Chores and to do lists can always wait.  

Hubs and I have made our to do lists, we'd enjoyed a yummy breakfast of Gingerbread loaf with Maple icing (still can't believe we can still have these yummy treats and stay grain free), we've worked on grocery lists and planned the day.  He's down in the man cave watching a movie and I am enjoying the lingering beauty of my fire.  Soon, the day will start. 

So if you have read my blog for a bit you probably know that I love Christmas music.  It warms my heart and fills my very soul.  But I will admit to being shocked when the local oldies station that is known for it's Christmas music started playing it yesterday.  I mean, it's not even Thanksgiving.  Again, I love it, don't for one moment think I don't.  But I gotta question the rush.  

I always start playing it while I sew and craft around the beginning of November, but I hadn't even gotten there this year.  I will even admit to starting in October some years, but that is simply because it calms me and helps me focus. 

I've been seeing all of the early Black Friday specials all over the place and even shopping yesterday I with the girls I noticed the overwhelming amount of Christmas.  If I hadn't known darn good and well that it was only the beginning of November,  I would have questioned the date. 

So... why?  Is it to offer hope and joy during these strange and uncertain times that we are living through?  Or maybe it is to encourage people to not wait, given the supply issues stores are facing in getting their merchandise. Or is it to get people opening their pocketbooks to spend far too much, when they simply don't have the funds. 

Personally, I'm leaning into the second two.  I think that far more people are thinking like me, that everything has become too consumer driven, to commercial and they are opting out, and the stores are feeling the pinch. Do I still plan to gift my loved ones, absolutely!  They are just going to be far more meaningful and thought out.  Not random and willy nilly driven by marketing pushes. 

I am not sure why that perplexed me yesterday, but it really did. And who knows maybe the powers that be felt the world could use a bit of Christmas spirit (they aren't exactly wrong if so), but I feel it probably has far more to do with advertisers pushing for an earlier start to sales. 

I'm watching the last embers of my fire, not quite ready to start the day, but knowing I need to get with it and start my chores.  We want to pick up more firewood, the ferns need clipped and the plants out front cut back, we are picking up an antique table to refinish, and there is life needing done.  I enjoy days like this when Hubs and I work side by side accomplishing the little things that make a house a home and our life a partnership.  

I am so thankful to be living my best life with my soul mate surrounded by all of my incredible loved ones!

celebrating together...

And the rockets red glare... Happy Independence Day everyone!  Maybe it's being a "brat" that makes this day so much more powerful for me or maybe it is because I am very proud to be an American.  At any rate, my patriotic blood runs strong.  And I have such great memories associated with this awesome day.  

I am well aware that our country is struggling right now, in a big way.  I pray daily for right to prevail, for everyone to have the freedoms that have long been fought for.  I come from a family line that has proudly served our country for generations.  They have stepped up to defend freedoms as far back as I can trace. 

Last night we sat outside at our oldest grand daughter's house watching her husband and two brother-in-laws set off fireworks.  It lasted for over an hour, not counting all the let's make noise ones that went off earlier in the evening. And you definitely can't count the "is it dark enough, because I can't wait" ones. Sweet Hubs' definitely had to get in on the bangs as well. 

this is where you insert all the ohhs and awes... 

It was a double celebration as grandson in law's birthday is July 4th.  It was such a great time.  Although we missed the family that wasn't there, Hubs' oldest was visiting her husbands family in Iowa.  And of course the boy and the dragon were far from home.  It was wonderful to hang with the girls.  It was a time full of laughter, love, hugs and genuine happiness. 

As we were leaving the oldest grands' place last night Hubs made the awesome discovery of a HUGE flag hanging a street over.  It was fantastic.  Their little community is definitely patriotic.  It warmed my heart watching families walking in the dark, enjoying fireworks from every angle, seeing so many flags and displays.  It was absolutely incredible. 

Pretty sure we are hanging at home today.  I feel tired, but also a strong need to not go anywhere.  We have quilts and machines to work on and a house to tidy from doing all of that.  

Besides that my anxiety is starting to grow. As I opened my eyes this morning, I realized that in a month exactly I will turn 56.  In a month exactly I will start the day with a new knee.  While I am sure before long I will admit that it is a great idea.  Right now, it feels bigger than I can deal with.  I've had minor surgeries, just like most people.  I have never had major surgery.  And despite the fact that I have great confidence in my doc, I'm afraid, I'm apprehensive, I'm overwhelmed by the thought. 

So I am choosing to stay home based. In my little bubble of calmness, where I have control of what goes on. 

If I chose to see more fireworks tonight, I definitely know where to look for them.  Heck, I think I just need to head toward St. Charles, drop the top on the convertible and see them from every direction.  But for now the extent of my day is planned at home.  

Hubs has all of the featherweight cases shut into one of the bathrooms with the ionizer.  They had strong smells.  Some were moldy, some smelled like a hay barn, some simply had the smell that comes with old items stored improperly for far too long.  Once they stop smelling, probably by tonight, they will either go back into use or they will wait their turn to be rehabbed.  

I am going to completely rehab mine, as it is definitely beyond salvation with the fabric - but is structurally great. The fabric was ordered today. Although I fear that project is going to be an after recovery project.  I can only squeeze so much into the next few weeks.  Especially considering we will be traveling for almost 10 days right in the middle. 

I hope each of you has a fantastic holiday, that you celebrate all the brave American's that have given their all to give you the right to have whatever beliefs you have and the voice to say them.  I hope you enjoy the times of fun, laughter, apple pie, and barbecue that are ubiquitous with this time of year and savor the memories of times past.  

I intend to, even if just quietly with Hubs.