That's how it feels this crazy month. Very little is staying the same. Inside, I feel like I am becoming a stronger, more vibrant version of myself. The inner person is shedding the false shell it has resided in for far too long. She feels free and happy. She feels ready to walk into each new day with energy and passion.
The inner me is enjoying the time to spend in meditation as is brings a centering feeling to me. Starting and ending the day in peace is making me so less anxious and jumpy. I am treasuring these small things.
The outer me, well she is morphing too. I have to admit that every time I look in the mirror I start laughing. My previously straight hair is still falling out, by the handfuls throughout the day. And what is left and/or growing back is a rather unruly mess of waves, light and airy. So very different than the straight orderly thickness that I am used to.
Each day I am accomplishing something that I've longed to do. Whether it is completing a project, making the meals for Hubs and I, going to check out little shops that have been on my someday list, spending time sitting outside with my family - just hanging out and talking/laughing. So many awesome things, so much good.
The outer world is changing too, spring is holding on for dear life. It's cold one moment and warm the next. It's barren and plain with that hint of yellow green that decorates the world as spring reappears and suddenly it is bright vibrant greens in all imaginable shades, flowers springing to life, perennials coming back to life and filling their beds.
A couple of weeks ago we went to Lone Elk Park with one of my sisters and her Hubs. The lake was beautiful, surrounded in that pale yellow green. Filled to the top with small boats fishing on the shorelines. Hubs even had me take a picture of the sign so that he could make a reservation to fish. He is seriously starting to get that fishing bug again.
The park is beautiful and the chance to have the elk and bison so close that you can hear their breathing, is pretty darn awesome.
Sunday night a sinkhole opened in the bottom of the lake that provides the fresh water for the elk and deer that live on the main side of the park, the other side is inaccessible on foot, bison are far less friendly than the elk (and they are questionable) yet they have a smaller pond there for the bison and friends.
Some of the lake is still there, but the majority of it went down the hole. Hubs and I decided to drive over - it's only about 15 minutes from our doorstep, because I had an overwhelming urge to see it for myself. When I was younger I wanted to be a geologist and to a large degree, I am still passionate about this ever changing planet of ours.
They, wisely I might add, had blocked access to the areas affected. Seems people were crazy enough to try and go out to the sinkhole. I am fascinated by this occurrence, but truthfully I am not crazy. I want to learn and see, but I am not risking my life to figure it out. The closest we could get did not give a view of the sink hole. The destruction left was strange to see. Boat sitting on muddy slopes, dry docked by the sudden change, the area that had been teaming with turtles was a barren mud plain, covered with tiny foot prints, couldn't tell if it was from the birds or the if the elk and deer had wandered out further for a drink.
In the midst of the springtime beauty, there was a gaping wound.
On the hillside when we got out to look, in the distance was a family of elk. They definitely did not seem too concerned about the situation in front of them. They just sat there and watched the vehicles driving past. Probably wondering when all of us would return to our homes and leave them in peace in theirs.
It didn't seem to phase the bison one bit on their side of the park, they were still grazing and wandering around as if nothing had shifted or changed. So much like us, if it doesn't impact us, it might not have really happened. In all fairness to them, within the confines of their piece of the world nothing had shifted. Their grasses were still vibrant and abundant. Their watering hole was filled with turtles basking in the sun. Their world was still as they knew it.
I love to learn about the "how did" of things, and took the time yesterday to learn about the park. It's history is very interesting. From a WWII era powder dumping and testing ground to a place to enjoy wildlife and the great outdoors. My knees aren't good enough to go hiking on the trails and I'm not sure my courage is strong enough. Those elk can mean business and I would be traipsing around their home uninvited.
Who knows what they will find when they are able to look at the gaping wound that allowed so much of the lake to escape ( probably into the nearby Meramec river - via an underground river) what they will find. The lake was man-made, it might not be repairable. It might just end up having to be a smaller lake. They may have to find another plan to accommodate the change that time and life have provided them.
I have never feared change, probably the military brat in me, I've always just gone along with it. I am finding that I am now in a place of welcoming change. It's beautiful.
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