So many that I know are battling things. Hearts are hurting. They are losing loved ones, dear friends and family are ill or struggling. I feel helpless, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say.
I know the standard response when someone is in that spot is to reach out to ask how can I help. What can I do. My sister is one of those that is on that bus right now. Everyone is offering help, but what good is that help when you are overwhelmed and simply don't know what to even give to others to do?
I was able to help write a small sign for their front desk today. It seemed such a small thing, hardly a help at all, I hope it was bigger than I realize. I pray it was a small bit off her heart. I wish I knew what more to do.
What do you do you do when the pain or battle is bigger than the ability to see through the other side? It feels so shallow to offer help without being able to say what you are offering, but how do you know what the need is? We automatically offer to cook meals or even clean, but how do we fill that hole that is there in a meaningful manner? If I was closer, I am fairly positive I would offer to go and answer phones, would I have all the answers - heck no, but I am sure most folks will be calling just to talk to hear a voice on the end of the line that can offer comfort. Those in the thick of it aren't the ones that need to offer that comfort, they need it themselves.
Another friend recently lost their sister, even though she'd been ill for a long while, it doesn't make it easier or better. When Hubs shared that they were simply thankful for his checking in on him it made my heart feel warm. Thankful that his heart found a meaningful way to fill the gap in his friends heart space.
So many are struggling. Maybe our human nature to help simply needs better definition. Maybe it is simply being that person that checks in. The one that shows up with a coffee and a listening ear. I don't have answers, do any of us?
Last night was a very sleepless night for me. It wasn't the person or people that I didn't know that were heavy on my heart, it was those that I love, that are a part of my life in a deeply personal way. I am feeling disconnected, not really feeling a strong pull to be part of anything. Not really wanting to be drifting either.
I do not care for this helpless feeling. I tend to be a person of action. When my sister and I chatted this morning and she told me what her game plan for the morning was, I completely understood. I would have done the same thing. There is something about being able to be of service in rough times, although I worry the personal cost, it's that moment in time that helps you through.
My day will be spent puttering through today. I will walk puppies and clean up after their multitude of messes. I will try to find the desire to fight with the quilt that I really want to finish. I will tidy the house after a weekend of littles playing happily. I will continue to puppy proof. I will also spend time feeling aimless and lost. I have friends and family that are dealing with so much and I hate feeling helpless. "I'm sorry" seems so empty and not helpful at all. I despise it, but I seem to have nothing better to offer.
Most importantly I will continue sending love, light and support to those that need it. Prayers will go up, candles will be lit and I will simply hold space for those that need it. Maybe that is the only lesson to be learned. To simply hold space for the healing.
Good one! 381+
ReplyDelete