When I was home alone in August and September time was at an absolute stand still. I don't know if it was that I was so limited in abilities that I felt like each minute took ten and now that I am fairly able to participate fully in life it's time for it to fly past.
Sweet Hubs and I went out to run a few errands last night, we didn't even manage to complete our list and before we even realized it, the clock was well past our usual bedtime. We have to finish the tasks this morning. I simply cannot grasp this strange feeling of time lately.
We have a lot to accomplish before we head to our grand daughters soccer game tomorrow. I have meals to prep, packing to do, and a truck to load. We won't be heading back home for a minute, as tomorrow kicks off our first official long camping trip. I am so excited, the weather is perfect (at least in my world! It's a cool 46 degrees right now), and to simply disconnect for five beautiful days is going to be such a blessing.
I have a tote filled with projects already packed, yikes does that show my bias? Or at least where my brain goes when it's trip time? Hubs is putting together a few older movies that he is longing to watch again, somehow I am sure the Godfather series will make the cut. The playing cards are ready to go and I am making soups and chili, perfect for lazy cool fall days. Hoodies and jeans are already planned, as well as my favorite sweats and sweatshirts. Comfort and relaxation will be the name of the game.
I am struggling a bit with wanting to be able to do what I want and being reminded by my knee that I need to be patient so yesterday was a crazy mix of cooking, cleaning, sitting, sitting and more sitting. The frustration is strong in this one. The problem with sitting is that while I am keeping my hands busy to keep my patience in check, my mind is spinning like a giant top, gathering more and more ideas to it's center of focus.
Before I know it, I have planned more things to do than I probably have years left to accomplish them. I start to wonder if sleep is really a necessity or something that we can do without. Then that leads to lists of things I want to make or feel the need to attempt... oh the chaos!
Today, I plan to semi-focus. This morning after the shuffle walk, Hubs and I will finish our chores and meal prep for our trip - definitely going to need to bring up more mason jars. I will prepare a few sweet treats for the Hubs, he loves his sweet treats and I will make a few different kind of crackers. Around lunchtime, it will be time to start getting ready for the day.
We are going to a friends' wedding. I feel that is probably a reason for my anxiety this week. I don't do well in new situations. My introvert soul has been having a heyday since April. I only engage with people when I want. Today, I will have to engage with strangers to a huge degree. I know that it will be just fine, I will probably find many that I like. I am just concerned, the finely honed skills I had of blocking people's energies from myself are super rusty. It's going to be a bit overwhelming for me.
I was actually thinking about that the other day on our walk. Now that I am not forced to engage with people on a daily basis, I actually enjoy random conversations and building new friendships. I find myself actually speaking with strangers and I've lowered a lot of my natural defenses.
I didn't realize until now how very much my former career emotionally drained me. It required more energy than I had many times, but I was so wrapped up in doing the best that I could that I didn't realize the emotional drain it caused to me. It was tough to always put on a mental mask to protect myself.
I don't think that most people truly understand what it is like to be an introvert in today's society.
Well, this introvert has to start filling her emotional bucket this morning so that she has the reserves for the afternoon...
love and peace everyone!
Good one!
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