Wednesday, October 6, 2021

early morning ramblings...

This morning found Hubs and I enjoying our morning coffee under the blanket of a dark cloudy sky in the treetop garden.  We'd both slept our fill and already had our morning walk.  I am so thankful that he is patient enough to walk the slow, not quite a mile, shuffle that I call a walk. 

Our neighborhood is full of small hills and inclines, I simply can't go fast or far.  Yet he willingly strolls along with me.  Encouraging me when I don't feel like taking those steps in the morning. Because truthfully, there are mornings that I would rather sit in my jammies and not even consider the good it will do me to make that walk. 

As the weather is being a bit indecisive my body is struggling to adjust.  Is it fall? Is it summer?  I have my fibromyalsia under control, it doesn't beat me up like it used to during these seasonal shifts, although I do struggle a bit with being tired, and it does seem to bite into my motivation to move.  He fills in the gap and becomes my motivation.  I appreciate that so much. 

There were no sunrises to chase today as the cloud cover is deep and heavy, instead of brilliant colors it simply shifted to a lighter shade of gray. You know it's daytime, but it isn't going to give you anymore than what you are getting.  Rain is forecast, but I am not holding out much hope, we've had a very dry year and each time it's been forecast for an all day soaking we get a few hours at best. Frankly, we need some serious rain.  Our rivers are all so dry that sandbars stretch nearly across the surfaces. Creeks are bone dry and lakes are super low. The news isn't saying it (surprise, surprise), but it definitely looks drought like wherever you look. 

I love rain.  So my fingers are crossed for some nice heavy rains today.  We'll see. 

I need to lay some knit work out to block, getting presents ready for the holidays, I have my mats ready and everything... I just don't know where to put them.  I usually lay them on the floor in the sitting room, lots of space that isn't going to be in anyone's way. My challenge is that I'm just not sure how to go about doing it. I'm afraid if I manage to get down on the ground, I won't be able to get back up.  Learning the new way things work is unnerving.  I think I might put them on the kitchen island.  Then I don't have to figure out if that is something I am able to do or not.  Yep, I am willing to cut the corners on this one and to be inconvenienced. I don't know how my new knee will behave in this situation, nor do I know if I will be pushing it to do so.  Ugghhh, I hate the unknown in cases like this. 

I also hate not being sure of myself and my abilities.  I am definitely a stubborn person.  I like knowing my limits and boundaries and the results if I push those.  Because truth of the matter I am going to push.  It's probably a good thing I didn't have these reasoning abilities as a baby, I would have never learned how to walk.  It's a blessing and a curse. 

The other day I was listening to the description of people born during a mercury retrograde, the whole time the woman was speaking I felt like she was describing me completely.  The good, bad and ugly all felt like a perfect description, so I decided to dig in and investigate, was I born during a retrograde?  Could that be why they don't seem to impact me as strongly as they impact others?  Sure enough, I'm a retrograde baby.  It completely explains my approach to life, I am an over-thinker, my filters are strong, I am always weighing both sides of the issue and it takes me quite some time to make major decisions. Anyone that has known me since youth, knows that I am not the most outgoing person and I do not make friends easily (although once you are my friend it is forever).  

I know that not everyone believes in astrology, that it doesn't align with most people's religious beliefs. I follow many different ideals and ideas. It makes a great deal of sense to me, especially when things like this come to light.  

I'm sure at another point in time, I would have been one of the heretics burned at the stake. Not because I don't believe in God, because that is something I most definitely believe in.  But more so because I won't be told what to believe.  I will follow many different paths of learning and study, I will keep my mind open.  And if you tell me I must or else.  Well... my stubborn, bullheadedness kicks in and I will always choose the "or else" path.  I am not easily swayed into a herd mentality, I am always questioning.

I have no idea how I wandered down this path today.  Normally, I have a thought in my mind that is solid and wants to be followed when I sit down to write, today... I've almost deleted this about a dozen times.  It feels rambling and unclear.  And at the same time, it feels that it needed to be written.  

Our little planet is going through some serious changes.  I firmly feel there is a battle between good and evil, light and dark going on.  I equally believe that good wins, that we truly are experiencing the dawning of a new age.  I also feel that it is going to be painful and ugly and that we are experiencing that in many ways.  My hope is that all of us will search our souls and reach deep inside for our own good.  That we will remember that each soul chose to be here at this time and for this time.  That love and compassion have to rule the day.  And that it is critical that we open our eyes, reclaim our own minds and remember the journey.  

Each of us is far more powerful than we chose to believe.  We have the ability to change our lives, our health, our communities, our world.  We just have to stop listening to those that tell us we can't.  We have to stop listening to the noise meant to prevent us from being awake to our own personal power. 

Wow, not sure how I wandered down that road... but well... I did... I guess it's time for me to start pushing a few of my boundaries and trying new stuff. Please remember to spend a bit of time each day listing all of the things you are grateful for, when you do so you are letting the universe know you are ready for more of the good stuff!

love and peace...

1 comment:

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