Climbing into bed last night was incredible our insanity had led us to being on the road almost non-stop for two days. Hindsight being 20/20 we should have probably hit a local shop bought toothbrushes and toothpaste, called the kids and rescheduled dinner and stayed the night. We simply didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to see them.
Kind of like driving to Arkansas for a bit of time over two days with the California kids, I mean, you just do it. I would have loved to have gone back for a bit more time with them these past couple of days, but their schedule was simply too fluid and we didn't want to intrude. This was Dad's visit, not ours, so needless to say, we didn't want to intrude.
These past eleven days have been the longest, the slowest and yet the fastest I have ever encountered in my life. I couldn't write about it for a bit, I had to process it. I had to be okay with everything. To find the blessings in the missteps and realize that everything happens for a reason.
The day before we left for our vacation we sold the Harley. It was a very difficult decision, but Hubs' hip replacements didn't get agree with even a couple hours on the road and my knees made riding miserable for me. I never did tell him, but the pain was pretty horrid when we would ride, I just kept hoping for the best and kept quiet. I knew how much he loved to ride. We still had the convertible for wind therapy so... it was all good.
The first day of our vacation started with the loss of my beetle. I know, it's just a car, but if you know me well, you know it was very special to me. Hubs and the middle (formerly oldest) grand were out driving while we awaited the Cali kids arrival. It was hot and humid, time seemed to be standing still as it always does when you are waiting for something amazing.
The drive to Arkansas had been glorious, it was the first time Hubs had made the journey in the convertible with the top down, the threatened rain never happened and the temperature was perfect!
When I got the call a few hours after we arrived, my heart might have stopped for a moment. "I've had an accident, we're okay, but you need to come and get us". My husband and grand daughter in an accident. My car. It would be days before it all played out, my beautiful blue bug will eventually be sold for someone to salvage - the damage is mostly cosmetic - unfortunately when you hit a fence at 50 mph and you fly over a culvert a lot of things deploy that make it a poor financial decision to keep it.
Accidents happen. And I guess I wasn't meant to have it forever, even if that was my original plan. I've cried a million tears, I've run the gamut from fear, relief, extreme anger and hurt back to acceptance. Only positive lessons learned, is my sweet Hubs can be a knucklehead - but only with the absolute purest heart, my grand daughter is a loving human that had the crap scared out of her. The safety features of my beloved bug, protected my precious family to the extent of only a few scratches and some aches for a couple of days. And finally, if you are in the market for new car - I highly recommend that final edition collectors version. Who knew a car could appreciate.
The Cali kids arrived a few short hours later, which probably immensely helped my ability to process and deal. Disaster immediately followed by pure joy, is like that spoonful of sugar helping the medicine go down.
We had two glorious days with the Cali kids, we laughed, we boated, we hugged, we shared joy, we talked about a million things, we shared smiles and more laughter. It was good for the soul. I miss my Cali kid so much! I feel whole when I have both my babies with me.
Somehow in the midst of it all, we arranged our journey home. Do you know there is a rental car shortage? Oh there definitely is! I called every single rental agency in the greater Little Rock area - not a single car was available for over two weeks. Oh yeah, and a bus trip would be 17 hours and 45 minutes - you think I will ever complain about the 5.5 hours it takes to drive there again? Nope.
We checked trains to no avail and finally decided we could fly. Hubs came up with that great idea! Thank goodness. As Hubs was searching for flights, I was praying for a non-stop, I don't mind flying - I hate layovers!! He found a lot of great rates (far less than a rental car would run) somehow my numb brain remembered I actually have frequent flyer miles, left over from those precious "pre-pandemic" days when I could fly to Cali to see the kiddo's.
I am pretty sure that was the moment that cleared the fog, the moment that said stop feeling bad and look at the silver lining waiting for you. We were able to get a flight home on the day we needed to leave, non-stop and for the outrageous price of $11.20 for the both of us. I almost fainted! I assure you I kept checking to make sure it wasn't a joke or scam. Nope, for reals!
With the help of my family we took care of the details of my car, rides to and from the airport, Mom came to the rescue when the tow company would only accept cash, my nephew runs the salvage yard that received it and did everything he could to try and save it. My Hubs and daughter offered to help me fix her. The blessings abounded.
And if I had stayed in that fussy, okay bitchy, mood I would have missed it all.
I was looking forward to the Cali kids coming up here to the Lou, but plans changed. At first my heart stung, I was rushing around trying to get everything ready. Looking forward to spoiling them a bit, making his schnitzel and just enjoying some one on one time. But Dad and his side of the family hadn't seen them in a long while and wanted to hold on to their precious time and the kids needed it too.
I spent a few moments pouting, my heart hurting. Simply because I have missed them so. After a call from my girl, I started to heal, I understood. Looking at my to do list, I realized that their decision had given me the blessing of time. I hadn't been sure how I was going to get everything done before leaving to Kentucky to meet up with Hubs' Big Sis. They had given us the gift of time. We'd only be in town for two days and had so much to get done before leaving again.
I received the call that my car was a total loss on the drive to Paducah. That was a blow to the solar plexus. I was expecting it, I knew it the moment I saw her for the first time after the accident, but to hear it. Wow. It took me about 6 hours to accept their offer.
More blessings. Never had a car appreciate before. Needless to say, the pay off allows us to be free of a vehicle payment when Hubs retires. Mine and his. I've opted to not get a car, I seriously do not go roaming about during the week and if I am desperate, my girl lives a 10 minute walk away and has two vehicles - she can't drive both at a time, all is good. Besides, in a few short days I won't be able to drive for at least a month.
We had an amazing time in Paducah, who knew such a small town could keep us so busy. Big Sis hadn't ever been there and she is just as addicted to quilting as we are. We'd missed her and couldn't wait to see her. And finally deliver Lucille to her. We'd planned on doing some sewing while there so we'd taken Sophia and Marty (Hubs' featherweight) with us, needless to say, it didn't happen. There was simply too much to do!
Hubs and I arrived early, so we explored some to the quirky shops that speak to my heart. I was able to get a reading with one of my favorites at Wildhair Studio's Rock Shop (if you are ever there... stop in, Susan and her team are incredible and the energy is healing!) My reading was enlightening and healing. I needed it more than I realized. Christina is awesome if you go!
We found several artisan's shops that filled my heart to the brim. And sat for a bit in the cigar bar sipping bourbon. A first for me, but why not. I needed time to show Hubs my new treasures from the Rock Shop, a breathtaking sphere of labradorite (for courage and strength) and of course a new deck of cards. We were simply killing time waiting for Big Sis to arrive, and enjoying our precious time together. Her journey was a bit longer.
It was so wonderful to have that time together with her. I love watching Hubs blossom when he is around her, they have spent far too much time apart. And the three of us together leads to a lot of laughter, deep conversation, shenanigans and joy. We spent time swimming (pool was far too cold), talking, laughing, shopping, playing pranks, sipping moonshine (oh yes I found one I LOVE - no I didn't bring any home - another reason to go back!!), wandering the quilt museum, finding yummy places to dine and playing cards.
I hated to see the visit end. I think that the kids changing their plans was a gift to our visit with Big Sis, it was unrushed and able to be embraced and enjoyed without guilt. It was our treasure!
Side note: HOLY MOSES if you are a quilter, or I guess just a sewing enthusiast in general, Hancock's of Paducah is an experience to not miss. I believe we were in there for several hours.
On Monday we finally found the camper of our dreams (unlike anything either of us had thought we wanted) and yesterday we finally brought it to St. Louis. We were blessed again. It's a 2019 and has only been used 3 times. The dealer that serviced it was stunned at how new everything was. Heck the plastic protection is still on all of the appliances. We are simply changing our recreation - we both love to camp!
Today... Hubs is back at work and I am faced with a house that has been used as a landing pad between journeys, stacks of laundry and tons of stuff to do. I still need to deal with the few remaining bits for my car, I need to figure out the DOR and letting them know as it was due to have it's license renewed. I have to get everything lined up and ready for when I have my surgery on the 3rd.
In other words the world has returned.
I was talking to one of my sisters during the chaos and she said something so profound to me. She was definitely part of my mental shift. I was in the midst of a pity party, my heart was still uneasy, I was feeling sorry for myself. And she gently scolded me, she challenged me to look at things from a different lens. I was listing the things that had appeared to be low spots in my life this year. I was not loving 2021 by a long shot. The covid/pneumonia and my hospital stay, the month of recovery, the stress of my former career, leaving my job, now the loss of my car and my impending knee replacement. Yep, I was definitely having a HUGE pity party. Yet as she switched it up for me it ended up looking like this...
* Hospital/Illness - I survived, I got to deeply rest (I was so exhausted at the time - probably why I got sick in the first place). I was able to reset expectations of myself, to see myself as something more than a cog in the machine.
* Job - I'm happier than I have ever been. I have had time to enjoy the things I love, spend time with my grands and family, go on trips that might not have happened, start exploring my future with clear eyes, head and heart. I have time to take care of myself and my health, Hubs' too.
* Car - everyone survived without injury, it paid off both vehicles and allowed us to finally make the decision to buy a camper (something we've been day dreaming about), it sets us in a great financial spot for when Hubs retires.
* Knee - no more pain, the ability to enjoy doing the things I love again. I am able to heal and do my therapies without interruption so that I can heal completely.
If you are using the right lens in life the best things come to you. I was looking at the dirty outside, I wasn't counting the shining blessings inside that are now so obvious.
I couldn't be more thankful.
It's been an insane 11 days. We've packed so much into the moments. The great, the not so great, the eye opening, the heart healing... so very, very much has happened in such a short window of time.
I'll be honest, I am still processing. I am still exploring every great thing this journey has brought to us. And it's brought more than I can comprehend.
Celebrate your life, enjoy the journey, instead of misfortunes look for what the hiccups prevented you from experiencing. And remember that each closed door was put there to invite you to look for something better that is waiting for you!
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