I hit a pause button yesterday. On Wednesday night, I got a text asking if my littlest dragon could hang out for a bit, she was frustrated and just didn't want to be home or do the things mom needed to do. Hubs and I immediately said yep and put our wine back in the fridge. We were up for any time with the little bit, she's very attached to her mom and rarely wants to do anything that takes her away from mom.
Initially, she pushed back and didn't want to come hang out when she realized mom was not going to be joining us. Miracles of miracles, she not only joined us, she stayed the night and all day yesterday. We spent more than 24 wonderful hours together.
I'd been feel a bit gloomy where the holidays were concerned. Too many Christmases without kiddos, just felt a little blah. I had been busy making the best of it, but still feeling a bit glum the closer we got to the actual day. We usually do Christmas PJ's on Christmas eve, this will be the first time we don't. In fact I think we've decided to simply let that tradition die, we are all fussy about what we sleep in and none of us needs another pair of pj's. EVER! It sort of felt like the last of the traditions I had grown up with falling away.
The little dragon, renewed my spirit and filled my heart with boundless joy. The first thing she asked was if we would take her shopping for her mom. Christmas was sneaking up fast and she hadn't been shopping for her mom at all. We spent a bit of time letting her pick out whatever she felt Mom needed, oh my was it great. She had to have a card and pretty gift bag, even though she also insisted on wrapping every single present separately. She gave up going to look at Christmas lights, because she wanted to come home and wrap her gifts and write a letter.
The pride on her little 5 year old face at picking, wrapping and packaging a gift for her mom, was so radiant and full of love. Things get tough for kids sometimes, and she is so smart and precocious that we all sometimes forget that she is truly just 5 years old. She's tall for her age to top it off, so it is an easy step to forgetfulness.
As we snuggled up for a few moments before she drifted to sleep, still insisting that maybe she shouldn't spend the night (mom really needed time to wrap gifts and get ready to leave today) we talked about all kinds of things that are important to a child. As I stroked her little forehead and listened she shared with me how hard she is trying to be good at school and how difficult it is. I'm sure a lot of it is boredom, she's so advanced that kindergarten is leaving her too much time to fill under strict guidelines. Her mom was the same way, although she truly doesn't remember that part of it all.
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| Yes I took the candy cane away before sleep... |
All too quickly she was sound asleep, snuggled into the quilts and pillows like a little angel resting on clouds. She is an intense child, I treasure that about her. I don't find her to be too much. I sat and watched her for a few moments before heading off to bed. Cherishing those precious moments, thanking God for the blessing of time with her that I had received.
Somewhere around 4:30 am, a little angel with a head full of unruly curls stood beside me, "gramma, I had a bad dream will you come snuggle me in my bed?" One does not decline such a sweet request. As we walked back to her bed I was silently wondering if that meant we were up for the day, praying that we weren't as I was still so very tired, bracing myself for the possibility at the same time.
Within moments, snuggled up in my arms that sweet angel was fast asleep. I laid there and drifted in and out of sleep for another two hours, amazed and blessed that she was snuggled up safe in my arms. She isn't a child that is super comfortable with being cuddled, in fact she will often tell you that she is very uncomfortable with even a hug. The blessings just kept piling up.
While she slept for another few hours, I got the kitchen ready for cookie backing, I had promised her. It's been so very long since I've made Christmas cookies and even longer since I've made cutout cookies. That is all she wanted to do. There was flour and cookie cutters everywhere she had a bit of help from both myself and grandpa. My recipe doesn't have any eggs in it, so she was able to happily much away at the scraps as she used the few cutters that gramma still had in addition to her own that she'd brought with her.
Grampa let her pick where she wanted to do lunch, McDonald's it was (YUCK), she bundled up and helped Grampa run the snow blower for a bit, before the lure of the fresh snow was too much for her and she had to make snow angels.
The three of us decided to pick up a load of wood, after realizing that the truck needed some weight in it to keep from sliding and we all decided we needed a fire after finding out how bitterly cold it had become.
Over the course of the day we decorated cookies (although I think she ate most of the icing and decorations), she munched on fresh made jerky and helped me seal it all in food saver bags (that kiddo figured it out instantly and while I stuffed bags she processed them), we did hours worth of arts and crafts and messes abounded.
I think my heart almost burst with pure joy when she told me she felt bad that mom was at home doing chores but she was having a great time and wanted to stay. I was blessed to wear the necklaces that she made me (I hope you like this gramma, I tried very hard to do my very best!). Oh yes sweet angel, I love them and will cherish them always. And my green paper elf hat is absolutely perfect!
While grampa was at work helping one of his team shovel walks, she helped me fix dinner. I had been worried that she wouldn't like ham and beans, ends up being one of her absolutely favorite meals. It wasn't until late in the evening, when I suggested that she could stay again, that it dawned on her that she'd been with us for more than 24 hours. As she started gathering her things, that sweet little dragon told me that she would really, really love to stay, but she had things to do at home and it was time to go.
I'm pretty sure she thought I wouldn't take her, because she woke her snoozing grampa up and asked him to please drive her home. Poor guy. We loaded up Grampa's truck and returned her to her much calmer and more relaxed momma, complete with a promise of more play dates when she comes back from her trip.
She is a fire filled little dragon, she is full of energy, excitement and a zest for life that knows no limits. If you blink for a moment she transforms into a sensitive, caring, empathetic and intensely intuitive angel. The perfect mix.
I didn't know how deeply I needed that time with her. Driving home last night, with the snow swirling around me, basking in the Christmas lights all around, I sort of felt like a character in a sappy Hallmark Christmas movie. Ya know that moment when they realize their greatest gift had just been given to them.
The traditions are wonky and out of order. Finding bits of icing all over the kitchen island and the floor while cleaning up the dragon "glitter" (not messes) from every room, filled me with hope and promise. It healed my heart.
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| last time I baked Christmas cookies... it's the OG from 11 years ago...(same age as her little sister) |
The spirit of Christmas showed up disguised as a little impish dragon with a head full of unruly curls and fire in her eyes.
I'm definitely counting my blessings on this day before the night before Christmas. And even more thankful that our Christmas season will stretch into the new year.
The fire has almost burned out and it's time to get busy. I have a few things to finish yet before I sit down and relax.
love and prayers... and Christmas miracles to each of you...
Good one! 381+
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