After doing some research yesterday, I decided it was definitely time to try making yogurt with goats milk. I don't do well with cows milk, so I am definitely excited to try this. Thankfully, the process of making yogurt helps with my intolerance of cows milk, so even if it's a fail, I definitely have a back up. We'll find out tomorrow how that goes.
It's a gorgeous spring day today, hard to believe all of that massive rain even fell, except for how soft the ground is. Thank goodness, because we definitely needed the rain. We've been under such strong draught conditions for several years now. Maybe this is our turning point. I guess we'll see. I keep praying for it.
This afternoon we get to pick up our newest Elderberry bush. I'm so silly excited for this. These are all the North American varieties, so they can actually be eaten raw if I wanted. Mostly, I just use them to make elderberry syrup to prevent cold and flu and improve our health. But there definitely are other possibilities! I still need to work on getting mullein growing. But the elderberries are established.
I'm not sure what kind of garden I am focusing on this year. I feel strongly that I am going to focus on the pollinator treats this year. I do not usually lean heavily into flowers or flowering plants. A few here and there. I usually have limited success with them. Mainly due to our friendly deer and bunnies. Just last night Hubs and I were admiring my lone surviving phlox, the one I posted a picture of yesterday. It had put out even more flowers and looked lovely, albeit a tad lonely. This morning, it's stem joined the rest of the phlox cemetery in the front beds. Our friends haven't tackled the bee balm that has sprouted and seem to be ignoring the two remaining rose bushes. I'm not optimistic, one rose bush is already gone, and the roses haven't even considered blooming yet this year.
I am also fairly positive I will plant beans. I have no idea why, but I feel strongly about it. I don't have a burning desire to put out a lot of tomatoes. Although I am pretty sure there will be one or two. I mean who can have summer without tomatoes and basil? And I love to have a variety of jalapenos and spicy peppers, I guess we'll see.
That is my motto in this season of life.
I guess we'll see.
I'm feeling encouraged to tackle things that I've wanted to do, but haven't been brave enough to.
A dear friend reached out to me this morning, I don't know if he realizes how very special he is to me. We don't talk often, but the little bits here and there fill my heart. He was letting me know he understood what I was writing about yesterday. Reminding me to live in joy in this time and space.
I have a very small pool of friends, I like it that way. I am a slightly reclusive person. I enjoy people, I truly do. But I enjoy being in my own bubble too, it's how I recharge. When I was forced to live a public facing life, I struggled. I always felt like my personal batteries were always flashing "low battery, recharge now, less than 5% remaining". I am not someone that can spend that many hours of my day facing outwards. It left very little for me to expend on family, friends and life in general.
The more I learn about myself, the more comfortable I am in my own skin, my own life. My daughter mentioned something about "masking" last night at dinner. I had to ponder it. Ironically, when I was in a public facing world and struggling I would "joke" that I had to put my people mask on each morning. I hated new environments, large groups, anything that required me to put myself out there for public consumption.
Consumption is how it felt. I knew what was expected of me, I also knew I didn't feel able to be me. I march to a different drum beat than most folks I encountered in "the real world". I always felt out of place.
My sweet Hubs always refers to me as a hippie that doesn't do drugs. I wasn't sure how to take that, ever, but I finally felt seen for me. I am basically a down to earth hippie. I don't belong in the modern world.
 |
| I spy some vinca minor creeping down the hillside |
I love my world. My happy place. Pushing 60 years old and I've finally reached the place I belong. It feels strange, wonderful, weird and fulfilling all at the same time. I've finally realized that instead of masking myself to fit into a mold I didn't want to be smushed into, it was perfectly okay to be me. If people are not comfortable with who I am, they are welcome to see themselves out of my bubble. I no longer strive to fit a mold I don't belong in.
All of this would mean that I would find my tribe. It means that I don't have to force myself to be someone that I am not, and that I am truly enough.
I hear terms thrown around, some of which bits and pieces definitely fit into the definition of who I am. Trad wife, crunchy mom, hippie all of them have a bit of truth, none of them fully define me. I am me. I am finally allowed to be exactly who I am.
I pray that each of you finds the other part of who you are. Someone who accepts you as you are meant to be. That encourages your quirks and cherishes all that makes you whole.
I pray that I am someone that does that. I hope that I am even half as perfect for my sweet Hubs as he is for me. I hope that the family and friends that I carefully hold close to my heart know that I see them, I love them and I am so very, very blessed to have them as part of my whole.
I threw my mask away years ago. If you are in my world, you are aware that I am quirky, strange and move to my own internal drumbeat. I thank you for being in my world.
 |
| Belle sees you too! Any chance you are hiding snacks? |
It's time to get back to making yogurt and I believe it is a day for sewing, I have been focused on doing lately and I feel the creative part of my spirit is crying out for attention.
Love and peace, b
Good one! I like quirky! your uniqueness is what makes you so wonderfully special to me. 381+
ReplyDelete