I usually do not react to the pollen from all of the oak trees surrounding us. This year, my eyes and throat are in a permanent state of scratchy. I'm beyond thankful for the rain washing it all away. It looks like the rain is going to fall for a couple of days, I am hoping it washes all of it away!
The silence that comes with the rain is so peaceful. The stillness of the world is a blessing. I know I've mentioned that I am finding so much peace in a slower life. Ironically the slower and more peaceful life gets the more I find myself being forgetful and less connected to things.
My poor Hubs had to listen to me frantically trying to find the dog collar I had just swapped out this morning. I had walked a straight line from the sitting room to the kitchen with Beau's collar. I had Belle's new one in my hand, but simply couldn't figure out where I put Beau's. I was starting to think I'd finally lost my mind. We are talking about 20 steps, retracing, looking, checking to see if I had actually walked the 10 additional steps to the laundry room and didn't realize it. It was no where to be found. I was seriously starting to question myself at that point. I was distracted by what Hubs was saying, not paying attention I guess, but had placed the old collar over my shoulder so that I had both hand free to work on Belle's sizing of her new collar. After about 5 minutes of walking back and forth, questioning my ability to evidently be left at home and in charge of anything, I reached up to pull my hair back and found the collar. I guess I just found another way of getting additional steps in for the day.
These kind of things happen a lot in my world these days. I thought it was simply I'm getting older, but then I talk to folks significantly younger and they are experiencing the same thing. It's highly annoying. I question why it's happening, and then I realize I don't really care. It's not like I forgot something important, who knows maybe my brain is at capacity for worthless, stupid information and refuses to store anymore until I clean up the mess. Similar to the storage in my sewing room?
A friend commented that the world is heavy right now, in response to yesterday's post. I was pondering that assessment while standing and watching the rain. I couldn't help but feel it was perfect. The world does feel heavy. I find myself refusing to engage in anything that is heavy, divisive or ugly. I'm finding I don't want to interact with things as silly as quilting groups, gardening groups, etc online because of the divisiveness. I can still love the people, the skills, the art, but my spirit wants nothing to do with the attempt at ugly. I won't support it in any manner. I find I can't.
Maybe my assumption about devolving is inaccurate, maybe we are truly evolving. Maybe when all of this heavy ugliness falls away we will truly be a cohesive family of people. We will finally be able to celebrate our differences and revel in them. I long for the days of having a conversation and not having to worry about the ugly waiting to creep in. I long to spend hours talking with people that are coming together from different view points and just talking. Striving to understand and learn. In most cases it's only a matter of perspective. I'm tired of all the my way or the highway conversations.
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| My picture |
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| Hubs picture, same moment in time, different perspective |
We have friends that are from Pakistan, we've all been busy and had not spoken in a bit, we miss having them as neighbors. Thankfully by chance it happened that they were talking about missing us and we were talking about missing them and by happenstance we ran into the husband at Walmart of all places. As we stood there speaking and catching up, hearing about his recent trip home to visit his family, about his parents whom we have met and adore, all of it was so welcome and wonderful. In my head I could hear his sweet wife always saying "in our culture we do this or that". It is never a demand for submission to their culture and way of life, so much as an education of how things are for them. I cherish those kinds of moments. Far too often nowadays people do not come or receive from that perspective. I miss it.
I grew up all over the world, dancing in and out of different cultures, learning, absorbing, experiencing. I'm not sure what it would be like to go to some of those places today. I have been blessed to observe and participate in so many cultural specific events, services, observances I was never once asked to forsake who I was to be part of those things. I was simply welcomed.
I think, in today's world, we struggle to simply accept that we are all unique and different and wonderful. I wish this rain could wash away some of that. I don't want us all to become the same, I want us all to retain and respect what makes us unique.
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| close up of a pot of chamomile very hard to see in the large picture |
As you can probably tell, my brain is struggling to break free from a lot of what the world feels like. I want to live my simpler life, I want to step back. I rarely turn on television, media, or anything of the sort. I spend time learning and doing. Chasing creative outlets of any kind. Drawing people near me that want to play in those playgrounds.
I don't want the other stuff near me.
Yesterday my new friend (my pups new friend's momma) and I were talking about the jar of cowboy candy I'd given her. I was giggling as she said she'd almost text me the night before with a "you bi%ch" text, as her mouth was on fire. I had warned her it had fire, but that sweetness definitely hides it well. As we talked she mentioned that her daughter wants to learn to make jellies and the like. I didn't hesitate for a second as I offered to teach her. She will be on break from college soon, we will find time to make it happen.
Let me share the old ways, let me create a village of like minded people. Note I didn't say the same. I want to be surrounded by a village, one were everyone brings perspective, skills and hope. I probably belong in a commune somewhere, are those still a thing? I know my village is more based in a homesteading, old-fashioned ways and values, thinking outside of the box, artistic, self-sufficient and probably a bit untrusting of anything governmental based. But that doesn't mean I don't want to learn from everyone.
Yeah, my brain is in over drive, probably why I couldn't find that collar - who has room in their head for such trivial thoughts when sorting out all this other garbage.
love and peace, b
Good one! 381+
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