It's still.
I thrive at this time of the day.
The peace of this Thanksgiving morning made me want to pause, to reflect. As I was waiting for my coffee and tidying up the kitchen to get ready to make pies my mind and heart started to drift backwards.
Instead of a giant turkey sitting in the sink ready to be prepped for dinner there is a smattering of dishes from Hubs and I being too tired to wash them last night. My counter tops are covered with painting supplies, not ingredients for a feast.
For a moment in time, I felt disconnected.
I remember almost a half a century of Thanksgiving dinners. When I closed my eyes and stood there I could see my mom and dad starting the early morning prep when we were all so small. Thanksgiving has always been wondrous, a time of gathering, a moment of pure love. I'm old enough to remember long before simple holidays were a reason for political statements and discomfort.
I remember watching them prep that big bird, when you are a family of 6 with a guarantee of at least a few stray airmen far from home, it had to be huge! The stuffing was made first, there is always a pot of giblets, gizzards, the heart, neck and Lord knows what else was pulled out of that bird simmering with celery, onions, water and whatever seasonings they felt needed to be added.
Soon enough us girls would be coaxed into sticking our little hands filled with stuffing into that cold cavity. I remember how absolutely gross it was as a little girl. I knew it would end up being wonderful, but that was not my favorite part of the day.
Over the course of the morning any remaining sides and pies that hadn't been made the day before would magically start to appear. Platters of olives, pickles, cheeses and crackers.
As the anticipation of the Macy's Day Parade would grow like wild fire. No matter where we lived we could always count on the parade and Santa kicking off the Christmas season.
This morning I am wondering what a television only Macy's Day Parade would even look like. I am in mourning for all that has been lost. I think I will skip it, I looked at the previews, I do not care about the commercialism that is left. I long for the marching bands full of kids that have worked so hard for that place of honor, the delight on the faces of the people bundled up and watching in awe. The moment that Santa arrives, the sounds of joy and the laughter. For me... I can definitely live without a stream of over-sized balloons hyping the latest toys and video games.
We can't even go to our own Thanksgiving Day parade - as they are proudly boasting it will be a virtual hour long television special. No thanks. The excitement of the moment, bundling up against the cold, maybe taking a thermos of spiked coffee and sitting with loved ones. Enjoying the energy of the day and being together.
So much has slowly changed over the years.
Our boy and his girl got their Thanksgiving dinner delivered over the last few days. It makes me beyond happy to know he will have his turkey, ham, cranberry sauce and Hawaiian rolls. That is all he ever eats for the holiday. His girl will make a few more sides that will suit her just fine. I know their tree is already up because he sent me a picture the day it arrived.
Soon my girl will be awake, for the first year she won't be cooking a huge feast today. We are all going to celebrate with Hub's oldest girl for dinner.
Last year at this time I was standing outside in a cold drizzle with my sister and her friend getting ready to step off on my first ever Turkey Trot. It was so much fun, I was in good shape and looking forward to the long version. Hmmm... hindsight being 20/20, probably should have done the short one, who knew Little Rock had so much hilly terrain? I won't be doing a trot this year - even if I could find a live one. My knee is still ticked off at me from last year. It was so much fun. We were cold, wet and worn when we finished, but it was so worth it!
Soon I will make the pies, pop the mixing bowl in the freezer and get ready for the day. But for now, I am lost in memories.
Getting out the china, setting the table just so. Always showered and in our Sunday best. Carrying dishes to the dining rooms of yesterday. Dad is watching us from above, all of us have raised our own families and every year we are creating new twists on the old traditions. Striving to make them work in this strange new world in which we now reside.
My heart knows that this is simply a season in time. I feel strongly we will once again gather, celebrate and rejoice with loved ones. But I definitely believe it will never be the way it had been. I still stand firmly that we are never going back to the way it was.
I personally believe we are going forward to something full of love, personal power, and with a sense of gratitude and love that has been missing for far too long. I know personally I will cherish the ability to spend time with my loved ones, family and friends. To feel the love coming from a true hug. To sit with those I have missed for far too long and be filled with joy and gratitude at the most mundane chatter, simply because I can.
I still long for those long, lazy days that were the start of the holiday season for me. The frantic preparation of a meal that would leave everyone regretting that last wonderful bite, followed by a lazy food coma. I miss the excitement of pleading with Dad (he was always the hold out) to decorate the house for Christmas on the day after Thanksgiving. I didn't know what Black Friday was until my late 30's. It simply wasn't a thing for us.
We looked forward to the start of the Christmas markets. Hot chestnuts fresh from the roaster, stinging my fingers as I peeled the first few, because patience is a virtue I don't always have. The hot gluhwein, steaming in the treasured little mugs, although I admit the last few years I fell in love with the Feuerzangenbowle at the Frankfurt market. That rum soaked sugar dripping from the fire into the mulled wine was incredible. Definitely not a drink I can make at home. The little shacks filled with treasures, the smell of the wood burners making keepsakes, the glitter and twinkle of ornaments. Candy shops filled with lebkuchen and iced treats, nuts of all kinds being roasted. Oh the memories.
Tonight I will roast chestnuts - although not the same as fresh from the roaster, and I will warm a cup of gluhwein. I will officially turn on my Christmas music (we all know that I listen to it year round - so...) and I will savor my absolute favorite time of the year. I will celebrate family and friends. I might even spend a few hours writing out Christmas cards. Dust off an old tradition, that this mailphobic crazed person has been avoiding. Goodness knows I've bought many that I haven't mailed over the years.
But for now, there are pies to bake, memories waiting to be made.
A few more moments in front of the fire, a few more sips of coffee.
Don't let restrictions, fear, disagreements and all the rest of the crap 2020 tried to use to break our hearts work. Find a way to reach out, find that moment to say I love you and I am grateful that you are in my life. Share laughter, smiles and love.
Enjoy this day and all that follow.
I love you and I am grateful that you are in my life. 381+
ReplyDelete