ahhhh... summer....

Started this beautiful morning out in the garden, the heat will be moving in so decided to take advantage of the coolness of the morning.  Thankfully each day is moving this annoying cold into the past and each day I have more energy to live my life. 

I was busy pruning up the storm damaged leaves and tidying up the dying branches and thinking.  I do that way too much I guess.  I work hard to keep my plants pruned up, I love the fact that by doing that I can extend my growing season.  I always start to get a bit sad this time of the year, watching the transition from a lush and vibrant mini-jungle to the yellowing leaves as it starts to fade away.  I know that I will still be harvesting for at least another month, but I know the end of this growing season is looming near.  

In another few weeks I will start planting my fall seeds, I spent time yesterday looking into a fall garden here in the mid-west.  I've never gotten around to planting one in the past, first I worked too much and then I had my knee surgery, so this is the first year that I will have a fighting chance at having one.  I'm sort of excited at the thought of trying my hand at some of these new to me harvests. I've never grown beets or turnips before and I am going to try growing garlic. 

As I was working on my canning yesterday and Hubs was doing his honey do's I was thinking about how in the heat of summer we naturally move to being inside, no different than in the deep of winter we move inside for warmth.  Is it any wonder that spring and fall tend to be many people's favorite seasons?  Very few folks seem to thrive in the extreme heat or bitter cold, most of us tend to gravitate to the mild temperatures surrounding those extremes. 

Yes the sunshine was beautiful, looking out the window tugged hard on my need to be outside, the heat definitely cured that.  I don't like humidity.  I enjoyed the sunshine from inside, where I was cool and comfortable. Just like during the winter I stay inside toasty and warm.  Same feelings, different times of the year. 

As the August heat is forcing me to choose to be inside, I am working on getting varying projects done.  Yesterday I canned an entire box of potatoes. I made even more jars of jalapeno's as I do not want to waste even the smallest jalapeno in my garden.  I harvested fresh basil to make pesto for dinner and harvested more tomatoes.  

In a few moments I am going to take all of my tomatoes and a few peppers, onions and some garlic and cook them down into a rich tomato sauce.  In the cold of winter it will remind us of the bounty we have been blessed with. 

Hubs is on vacation this week and we are spending it resting and puttering.  I love these kind of days.  When there is no rush, time is fluid and you can simply do what you feel called to do.  Hubs just headed up to nap, the pups were not willing to allow him to do so in the living room, each moment that he drifted off they pounced to encourage him to play. 

In a short while I am going to finish my blackberry jelly, I cooked the berries this morning and they are currently dripping.  I will also make a loaf of bread (I love that I have found a recipe that reminds me so much of my favorite German farmers bread with the added benefit of no grains).  I don't think much else will happen today.  

I might finish loading the quilt I started to load yesterday, depends on how much time I have. I will also finally weave in the ends of my new dishcloths and put them in the drawer to use. It's time to stop working on "fillers" and start on the sweaters that I want to be able to wear come winter.  I am quite happy with this ebb and flow kind of life I now am blessed to live. 

I still need to wrap my grand daughters gifts before her sweet 16 party tonight. Mostly, I think I will enjoy the lazy, hazy days of summer. 

love and peace...

all shades of gray...

I've been thinking about this for a few days, being more critical when reading things and listening with more intent.  I feel pretty safe in stating that I believe the world is becoming so much more brutal.  People are shifting into a place that is dark and ugly.  I've noticed it over the past few years in my immediate circle.  I've watched family members basically attack and criticize other family members for having differing ideals and feelings.  I've observed bitterness and even cutting off of people, it's wounded my heart to watch.  

I've tried to rationalize it, I've tried to understand how people could be so unmoving and unwilling to try and even entertain a view that was different from their own.  How they could shred family ties and throw away a lifetime of love and support over differing ideas and thoughts.  I have many in my world that do not see things as I do.  I value and treasure each of those people, they help to keep me grounded and aware of the world around me.  They prevent me from becoming a victim of my own sort of echo chamber. The only thing I have ever asked is that the thoughts and ideas are not shared in a vicious or hurtful manner. 

That is where my head is today.  It's been lingering in this spot for days now, trying to make sense of what I keep seeing.  I can't. 

A congresswoman died a few days ago in a tragic accident.  I know absolutely nothing of this person, except that she died. Sad when a life is lost early and without rhyme or reason.  Even sadder, were all of the comments made surrounding her death.  It was ugly.  I felt a darkness from all of the hate and vitriol.  My heart shattered for her poor family.  Hundreds of ugly comments followed the announcement, maybe even more, I simply couldn't wade in that pool. 

I am witnessing more and more of that every day on so many platforms.  Reading an article about the elderly couple that passed away from the lightning strike at the capitol the other day, people were ugly there also.  

This ugliness is repulsive.  It was tragic, the only possible blessing is that they went together and that is really reaching.  

I feel that the world is becoming far too black or white.  People are letting their own inner issues escape into the world, they are keyboard warriors.  People that might be polite to your face, but put on a mask of anonymity and hate as soon as they are behind a keyboard. I personally feel this is being driven on all levels in our world today.  It makes me ill. 

I don't know about you, but I was raised with the tenets if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all.  Why is it okay to be so hateful and ugly?  Why is it okay to tear others down just for the sake of damaging them. Seriously, why is any of it okay?

I know my husband was in a class a few years back, and he made the comment that he believed and lived by the golden rule - do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  The reaction to this comment was swift and harsh from one of his classmates.  They spewed hatred as they said maybe I don't want you treating me like you would want to be treated.  

It hit him hard. 

I understood and agreed with his feelings on that.  I also practice the golden rule.  I will go above and beyond to treat you good, even if you do not treat me the same.  Why?  Because I want to be treated with dignity, respect, courtesy, kindness and caring.  

The reason this resonates so loudly with me, is because of things like yesterday.  I was running some errands, getting ready for the party to celebrate my sweet mini-me (how is she already 16?), I was trying to put together things that would make her happy, suit her personality.  This led to me shopping in places that were outside of my comfort zone, at each stop I encountered many folks that did not look, think or act the same way I do.  They had different beliefs, ideals and circumstances to their lives.  And at each stop, I had wonderful conversations, shared laughter and found common ground.  It was an absolutely delightful way to spend the morning. 

I learned new things, I enjoyed time with new people and had it driven home on many, many levels that we are all souls here with a common mission.  To survive planet earth.  To thrive, to love, to give to others and to accept the love, compassion, and understanding in return. 

Why is that so hard?

The world isn't black or white, there are a million shades of gray in between those two color values.  It isn't right or wrong, it isn't left or right, nor up and down.  And we simply have to learn to accept that, we have to learn to thrive in all the shades in between.  

At some point we need to come together, in love.  This hatred that is so rampant is not what we are here to do or be.

If I see a dead animal on the side of the road, I always say a quick prayer.  When I see an ambulance racing past me, I also pray.  I have knelt at the side of the road when there was a motorcycle accident and prayed for the injured person while crews feverishly worked to save them.  I'm not special.  I just value lives, I never learned not to.  

I don't care if you are someone that has deeply wronged me, I will never wish you physical harm.  Even if you are a human that is causing great distress to others I will not praise your demise or harm.  All of us are here for a reason, even if we don't understand. 

I just truly wish that some of the darkness and evil that has moved into our world would move on.  I refuse to glorify any of the ugliness.  

Instead, I am going to bow my head and say a silent prayer, a plea to God that some how, some way we all find a path back to love and acceptance and that he will guide me to do my best for my fellow humans. With as much understanding and grace as possible.  Do I slip up, yes.  Do I sometimes struggle with things I cannot seem to understand?  Of course.  Yet, I'm still trying. 

I promise to continue to show up for my fellow man, even when it is hard.  I hope that my fellow man will do the same for me in my time of need and quest for grace. 

love and prayers...

counting blessings...

It was such a beautiful morning out in the garden.  I was wandering around, trimming up the branches and damage from the storms we've had.  The humidity is super high, which means more rain is probably lingering out there, it's okay, we need it.  Sipping coffee and tidying up tomato plants actually brings me quite a bit of joy.  It feels refreshing and nourishing to the soul.  

I didn't do anything at all yesterday.  I talked to those I love, some in person, some via texts or messages.  The kiddo's are all busy living their lives, but took the time to reach out and share the love.  It was the perfect day.  Hubs and I are both healing from our colds and didn't feel like doing much, so the day was absolutely perfect.  I didn't do many chores, made up 8 jars of pickles and that was it. I snuggled puppies, napped and just enjoyed being.  It was absolutely amazing. 

So starting the morning in the garden was exactly the perfect way to transition back to real life.  As I was pruning tomatoes, removing the damage and the suckers I was absolutely thrilled to discover that one I almost threw out thinking it was a determinate that had given all it had was bearing buds again.  They were such beautiful tomatoes that I was sad there were only the six I'd already harvested.  I'm thankful for the fact that time kept getting away from me and I kept putting it off.  Now I will make sure it gets a bit of fertilizer and epsom salt, who knows what the future holds for it.  It might sound a bit crazy, but I am already starting to plan not only my fall garden, but also my spring one.  I want to put in some raised beds and include some cattle panel arches, I have big plans for next year. 

I wasn't very strong in springtime when I was planning this years, I hadn't bothered to start planning in the late summer/fall last year because I was afraid that I would never be able to navigate the hillside to have a bigger garden.  Now, a full year post surgery, I know that I am more than capable.  I am strong and able to do anything I want to do.  

I am looking forward to actually doing the things.  I can already see in my minds eye the beautiful arches covered with vines.  I want to find a certain type of green bean, it's a bit rare which is what intrigues me the most, I've already started my quest to find it.  I love heirloom seeds, they are unique and wonderful.  I love the wonder of watching them grow, of saving their seeds for the following year.  So if anyone finds the Missouri Wonders, please let me know, the search is on!  I also want to grow zucchini and maybe even some pumpkins and watermelons.  Not the kind that need the entire yard, but ones that I can train up my arches.  

I am going to have my little house on the prairie one way or another I guess. As I expand to the backyard, I will keep my beautiful treetop garden, I couldn't imagine giving it up.  By expanding, I have more opportunities for a diverse harvest and more space to plant pollinators.  I don't have nearly enough of those.  I never did get my sunflowers planted this year, but was thrilled beyond measure to discover that right beside my single lilac on the hill I have a beautiful summer lilac plant also.  The beautiful flowers are bursting with color and fragrance, inviting the bees and butterflies to visit our little piece of paradise.  

I bought two lilac bushes this spring that are still not planted.  I need to determine where I want to plant them and then get the ground marked so that I can get them in the ground.  I would love them inside the fence line, but I really fear the puppies will chew them to little nubs. They feel all sticks should belong to them, and these little trees are barely bigger than a bundle of sticks at this point. 

I can't believe I am starting my 57th year.  It doesn't feel that long.  I guess it really does fly past in the blink of an eye.  I spent time yesterday setting some intentions for this coming year.  I fully intend to live a bit braver, I think I talked about that the other day.  I often shy away from doing things that I know I would love to do, because of a million fears and worries.  The beautiful thing I am discovering about age is that the more numbers I add the stronger I feel about being my own person.  I find I care less and less about what others might think or feel about who I am and how I am living my life.  

This is a blessing, because for far too long, I allowed it to matter. I am finding that I am becoming much more comfortable and confident in my own skin.  It's amazing.  I am beyond blessed by the twists and turns my life has taken in recent years.  Things that should have felt derailing and ugly, instead have lead to beautiful paths.  

My garden kind of symbolizes it all for me.  For far too long I walked a harsh road, there was little beauty or joy.  It didn't nourish or lead to growth only stagnation.  Slowly, I have wandered through a garden gate, surrounded by beauty, each day it gets more beautiful, more life fulfilling and sustaining.  I wasn't giving my own life the type of fertilizer and attention that it needed to flourish.  And once that was realized and addressed it suddenly shifted.  Things started blossoming and producing. 

This is going to be a wonderful year, I am sure of it. It might have hiccups or bumps, but just like my garden with the right care and attention it will continue to blossom and produce.  Like that tomato plant that is suddenly bursting with life again.  Changing a few small things will yield big results.  

I'm not sure what those tweaks are, I learn them almost daily.  But I am sure that they will present themselves and lead to even greater growth.  Here's to another amazing year!

I have a lunch date with my friend, so I need to get ready to leave.... 

love and prayers... 

moving away from fear...

My how time flies... Like the blink of an eye! A year ago this moment, my knee replacement surgery was just getting started.  I was oblivious to it all as my incredible doc worked his magic.  I can say that with all honesty at this point in the game.  Being as I am not a huge fan of any doctors and I question most medicine, that is a huge statement!  I am probably his biggest fan! I can't wait for my one year follow up on Monday.  My life is so much better because I took the chance that I had avoided for evidently far too long. 

This morning as I rushed up and down several sets of stairs barely touching the handrail it occurred to me that it had been almost a decade since that was something I could easily handle.  Something that didn't make me a bit ill to even consider doing.  I just moved on like nothing. 

I've spent a lot of time this week thinking about things related to my surgery.  But mostly about the fact that fear holds us back far too often and for unreasonable reasons.  I've had to push through a lot of fear this week.  And honestly it really infuriated me. 

Over the weekend I came down with a cold.  I know shocking right?  I mean with everything going on in the medical field I sort of thought the good old fashioned summer cold had disappeared. I felt like crud for a couple of days, ya know the low grade fever, stuffy head, aches... wait isn't that a line from one of the medicines?  Anyhow, yes I do tend to be sarcastic.  Monday it started causing me to cough and that was when the fear arrived. 

Having had a rough bout of pneumonia just about a year and a half ago and with all the fear porn that surrounded it, I went to a super dark place in my head... I did not want to go through that again. The struggling to breathe, the inability to put together coherent thoughts, the fear. Nope, no thank you. 

Luckily, I'm a bit stubborn, willful and bull-headed - your good old fashioned witch (you can start that with a "b").  I wasn't going there.  I refused to be sick.  I refused to give into the fear.  I drank my OJ and elderberry teas, I took healthy doses of vitamins and zinc, I drank so much water I think the cold left for fear of drowning.  I moved my body, I kept living my life, just slowly.  For basically two and a half days I struggled hard.  

Then I said enough. I slept when I needed to, but I didn't linger in bed.  I refused to listen to any negative thoughts or fears. I got mad.  Yesterday, I did my life.  Sure I still sounded nasally, my head was still stuffed and I might need to buy stock in Puffs, but I did my life. 

Today, I'm breathing great, I am full of energy - much like yesterday except the breathing part - ready to live my best life. I spent lots of time out in the sunshine soaking up vitamin D over the past few days and I did a lot of work unwinding the fear that has been programmed into us for over two years now.  I was furious at myself for sliding into that web of deceit. 

Colds have been around forever, ya know, viruses and bacteria.  There was a time we didn't freak out.  Summer colds happened, they got passed around like yesterday's news. Everyone knew someone that had it or was just getting over it and you didn't lose your mind. It was just something that you got, you knew that the next 3 - 10 days were gonna suck and you moved on.  Everyone on the planet has had a 24 hour bug.

I was being a bit of a brat and whining to my sister stating that I wished we could simply go back to a simple cold instead of folks loosing their minds wanting you to shove a stick up your nose etc., it made me so sad when she said I don't think we are ever going to be able to go back to that time. 

Back to when we still believed in things like herd immunity, back when mom's would deliberately put their children in the room with other children when they had chicken pox, because the sooner they caught it, the better.  Back when you heard people say "oh I've already had that cold, no worries" or the flu or... when it was normal everyday conversation to say oh looks like there's a bug going around this family or that had it, or it's going through work, or it's going through school or the neighborhood or church.  Oh to go back. 

Puppy kisses are the cure for everything

I know at least 5 folks that have had this cold.  I was in contact with several without realizing it, my sweet Hubs is currently up in bed letting his body work through it now.  I am sure many others will have it before it goes away.  It doesn't need to involve fear. 

I know I'm focusing a lot on the cold, but that isn't what I am trying to draw my thoughts to, I almost didn't have my knee replaced out of fear.  So many people talked me out of it, had horrible outcomes, doctors wanted to wait (mostly because insurance companies wanted to wait), I was too young, it wasn't that bad... the list goes on. 

I almost backed out.  There was a nightmare of a challenge with my insurance and it almost had to be postponed.  I almost let the fear win.  Because if it had been postponed, I know that I would not have gone through with it.  I was terrified!  Frozen with fear to be exact.  I had faith in my surgeon and that was pretty much the only reason I went through with it.  But, I was tired of only living a portion of my life, of not being able to fully experience the world around me, of always making decisions based on what my knee could handle.  

A year ago, I could barely walk, the pain was incredibly severe and while compensating for the damage to the left, I was rapidly destroying the right knee.  In fact going into surgery I had been warned that I would probably need the other one done within the year.  Fast forward... I have run, skipped, hiked, I can chase my puppies and grand babies, I live my life fully. Waiting was the biggest regret, as I can never get that time I spent suffering back.  But... I am thankful. I am fairly positive that I will never end up replacing the right now, because it doesn't have that unfair burden damaging it.

I think about a lot of things that fear has prevented me from doing.  I wonder how many of us have been too afraid to walk away from that miserable job and follow a passion that is burning inside?  Or that relationship that isn't going anywhere, out of fear of being alone.  Maybe taking a solo trip to experience your comfort of getting to know and rely on yourself?  How many followed an education path that would "make money" but didn't light a fire of desire to learn inside?

I'm still deeply on this path of discovery, following my heart and learning to push the fear aside and simply experience life. It is so rewarding, so affirming.  I hate that forever we have been programmed by fear.  We might never succeed to our fullest potential because we are all afraid of failure, we are afraid of illness, of being alone, of not having enough money, of other's opinions and thoughts, we are taught almost from the beginning of our lives here on this planet to be in fear.  And the cycle just keeps on going.  

At some point, we need to stop it. We need to be okay with making our personal mantra "plot twist" and moving forward. I'm sitting here this morning celebrating the one year birthday of my knee and the wonderful blessings it has brought. I'm also working on setting my intentions for my next trip around the sun which will start tomorrow morning at 4:01 am.  I have been working for over a year now on letting go, on being okay with the plot twists, of flowing in this lifetime and letting that flow guide me and my journey, and most importantly... moving away from fear. 

I don't know where my journey leads, but I am really loving the path I am following.  For the first time in my life I truly feel that I am doing and being what I came here to do.  It's a great feeling... 

love and peace

opinions...

I've found the past few days to be calming and centering.  I haven't thought about writing and I honestly haven't missed it, until late yesterday, I hadn't really thought about it.  I've been gently living life and absorbing things around me.  Trying to stay super neutral so that I can see all sides of things. 

When you step back and simply observe you find things are spiraling in so many areas.  You can see so much that you miss in the noise of participating. Some of it saddens me, it makes me question if people are actually aware of what is going on around them.  If they have thought out all of the ins and outs or if they are simply living in the moment.  Forgetting all of the precious lessons that history has taught us.  

"Those that do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it" was first written by philosopher George Santayana, The Life of Reason 1905.  Many through the ages have edited it and changed it to suit the times in life.  But the fact is, it's pretty solid advice. I've always lived by it and strive to fully understand things that have happened in the past.  

Taking time to study and learn.  And when new evidence arises taking time to re-evaluate what I thought I knew vs the new evidence and where the understanding took me from there.  I can say there are many things I thought I knew very well, things I had accepted and thought made sense until they didn't. 

What I am discovering is that there really isn't anything new under the sun and we are always repeating a lesson that we didn't learn well enough in the past. 

For example a dear friend posted their stance on the latest attempt to change the 2nd amendment.  I didn't comment.  I couldn't.  I needed time to process it.  Because the only thing that came to mind was the poem "First They Came" by Pastor Martin Niemoller.

First they came for the Communists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Communist

Then they came for the Socialists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Socialist

Then they came for the trade unionists

And I did not speak out 

Because I was not a trade unionist

Then they came for the Jews 

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Jew

Then they came for me

And there was no one left

To speak for me

 He was a complicated individual, who didn't realize until far too late that the very things he had supported, the antisemitic activities against the Jewish people would eventually come around to him when he spoke out about the Nazi control of the church. 

When you learn about these things and struggle to remember them, it is easier to see what is happening. Did you know the Jewish people were not allowed to own guns? Why?  What was the reasoning behind it? I personally do not care if you own a gun or you don't.  I don't care if you have an entire armory or you are opposed to all guns.  The truth of the matter is the criminals aren't going through a background check at any point.  They simply don't care.  Our constitution was designed in such a way that we are given freedom at birth, that amendment has nothing to do with hunting.  

It is one of the things that protects us from losing those rights and freedoms.  It breaks my heart into a million pieces when folks don't do research, don't learn from the past, don't study every side of an argument or bill. 

There is a lot going on right now.  None of it is in our favor.  We are simply the chattel that will continue to slave away to make a very small percentage of humans wealthy beyond comprehension.  We are expendable as long as we allow it.  Stop for a moment and think about mass shootings, when do they occur and no we are not the only country suffering from them, so lay that to rest.  We are just the only country being talked about in the media non-stop because we have those rights that others don't.  

Think about what the media is putting out there, think about the responses, really think and look.  Eyes wide open, look.  Before you decide your thoughts and feelings based on biased, non-stop repeating news stories, research (hint go to nontraditional sources).  Dust off the real encyclopedias - the ones that cannot be edited and locked every time there is a new update to "the facts".  The ones written before this time and place. 

I never would have believed 1984 was going to be a guidebook to our lives, but here we are.  I'm tired of newspeak, I'm tired of the control.  So far since I've been silent I've heard the WEF wants us to give up our own cars, eat bugs and cut our nitrogen and CO2 emissions in the name of a greener planet.  Newsflash for all of those non-gardening/farming folks out there both nitrogen and CO2 are critical for a greener planet, they are literally the food for the green of the planet. 

Stop and think about it all.

Our children are not learning about banking, finances, the way our government works, how to protect themselves from predatory practices.  They aren't truly learning about the environment and what keeps it healthy and thriving in schools anymore.  If you look at curriculum and the stuff coming out of schools as assignments, it's positively unsettling. I'm thankful my children are finished with school, I wish my grands were.  The things that are important to create responsible adults are being brushed past, a brief footnote.  Thankfully, I am not faced with the decisions to unschool or homeschool vs. a traditional education.  I pray for those that are. 

They are pushing folks to move into over crowded urban areas.  It will be better they say.  For whom?  Want to learn something disturbing?  Check out Neom, in Saudi Arabia, and like I said, nothing new under the sun... then learn about Prora.  I grew up in Germany, I have witnessed first hand the tiny apartments stacked one on top of another.  No thank you, I simply don't like neighbors that much.   

Prora

I know our news media isn't covering it, but it appears the Dutch and Italian farmers are giving their governments a run for their money and good on them.  I read a comment on one of my gardening groups that stunned me more than words.  The article was about the farmers being tired of all the restrictions being placed on them, how difficult it was making it to provide the crops that are needed to feed the world in general (and yes, we can grow sufficient food for the entire planet - no one needs to be dying of starvation - do some actual research if you don't believe me).  But the comment that literally made my head spin was from a woman and her response was... "I don't know why people are worrying about the farmers and their crops, everyone knows you can just go to Kroger or Albertson's and buy all that you want"... 

Was she serious?  Lord I hope not.  But given the way things are going... sadly I fear she was. They have created a total disconnect between people and where their food comes from.  Heck, saw an advertisement from German about Insect Burgers. Ummmmm nope. Not interested. In fact, do your kiddo's a favor, take them to farms, let them harvest their own food.  Teach them to can and put it away for the winter months. Don't know how?  There are so many wonderful people that will teach them the skills that are being lost to technology, find those people, spread that knowledge.  

Let them savor the sweetness of a peach picked straight from the branch.  Soft and sweet. Tree ripened fruit has no comparison in the grocery store. Or let them wander through fields of overgrown blackberry bushes like I did this past weekend.  The kids that were with their parents were having a great time looking deep within the vines for the ripe lush blackberries, they knew that they were helping their mom gather for the blackberry cobbler they were going to have for dinner. Their screaming and yelling drove me bonkers, but in their defense I wasn't feeling well, so everything was driving me bonkers.  The beauty is that they understood where that wonderful treat was coming from.  Shop farmers markets, find that field ripened produce and support your local farmers, stop being the cog that is feeding the machine designed to destroy us.  

As you can see, I've had a lot on my mind.  I'm still sitting back and watching.  I'm taking the approach that I can't change the world, but I can learn to flow through it. Today will be a busy day, because even though I wasn't 100% feeling awesome on Saturday we went to the Amish market and picked blackberries.  Hubs and I managed to can all of the green beans yesterday, even saved a few seeds to be able to grow my own next year, but the summer cold that I managed to get has been kicking my behind just a touch.  

So today is salsa making, canning potatoes, making some bread (wheat free) in honor of Lughnasadh (the first harvest of the year), and canning up some yummy peaches.  Winter will soon be here and the flavors of summer will make those days far brighter and more welcoming. If there is any energy left untapped at that point I will make another batch of jalapeno's, a few more pickles and something with my paltry little 3 pounds of blackberries.  I don't know if I will get it all finished, this cold has definitely slowed my roll, but this is the best I've felt in days, so time to get busy. 

Life is crazy folks.  Please be aware, please pay very close attention.  Because much like the poem I quoted above the time may come when there will be no one to speak for you. 

love and prayers.... 

break time...

I needed to take a break, a few minutes to reset myself.  I've kind of cocooned myself inside while the storms have moved through these past few days.  Doing things that fill my soul and calm me inside, puttering through chores, doing a bit of cleaning and purging, working on quilts, reading, resting, snuggling pups, and the like. 

I'm taking advantage of the slight break in the weather and sitting in my beautiful garden.  The cooler trend of the weather has given my a chance for the tomatoes to ripen, the peppers are growing like crazy and the bean bed looks incredible.  All the beans I planted on Saturday have enjoyed the cooler temps and rain as they have all decided to sprout.  We'll see how many make it as the temps rise again next week. I will be harvesting pickling cukes again today.  Seems every time I blink there are more on the vine.  I am definitely pleasantly surprised. 

Tuesday was our nineteenth wedding anniversary.  It's strange, because if feels like far longer... but it also feels like only yesterday. We didn't really get to spend the day together at all, the storms on Tuesday morning caused massive floods here in the Lou and Hubs' spent 90% of his waking hours dealing with one of his buildings. It suffered quite a bit of damage. I started to be upset, but then I realized quite honestly, we don't need a special day to celebrate, we do a darn good job of doing that every day.   I'm blessed to be married to my best friend. 

Whatcha doing dad?  Got time for a snack break?

I spent some of that morning thinking about our wedding day.  How hot it was, we'd planned a float trip with the kiddo's, but weren't able to because the summer had been so hot and dry that the rivers were mostly empty.  Far too low to take a raft down.  Guess somethings rarely change. 

Guarding the stairs, no one passes

I was shocked at the flooding on Tuesday, until I remembered a few years back when the same areas flooded like crazy, almost just as quickly.  I remembered the pictures of cars floating and small creeks unable to contain the run off.  A few years ago, I spent hours with my peers out filling sandbags trying to stem the flow of water. And frankly, everyone got alerts in the middle of the night with plenty of time to choose to either remove themselves or belongings.  The places that got hit, are all in major flood plains with a very long history of flooding.  I was woken up at 2 am, 230 am and again at 3 am with alerts.  Before I had even gone to bed there were 3 warnings put out about flooding. 

When do we realize that the flooding is more "frequent" and "worse" because we have invaded the green space?  Because where grass used to grow to absorb the excess it is now blanketed in concrete, cement and blacktop?  Same thing with the higher temperatures.  Cities are always hotter, nature has been shoved aside. 

I've reached the point that I am not listening to anything the media has to say, I'm tired of hearing it's a 100 year flood.  The reason?  I'm not 100 years old, yet I remember all of these things happening in the almost 20 years I have lived here, multiple times.  Same levels, sometime worse.  I remember the cold in the winter and far worse winters.  I remember the heat of the summer, in fact I remember more than a few of them that were so brutal and ugly.  Just last summer at this time my sister and I took our grand babies to Grants Farm, we were both fairly certain we were going to die of heat stroke it was so unbelievably hot.  So nope.  I'm done.  I don't need an app or a weather forecaster to tell me what the weather outside is.  If I want to know, I will go outside.  But I am done with being lied to.  

My precious littles

Logical and critical thinking rules out all of the rhetoric and I am just tired of the insanity and manipulation.  I'm stepping back from my social media accounts, I'm stepping back from writing a bit.  I need time to step back from all of this stuff, I need a break from what I am watching, feeling and experiencing.  This world has far too many things going wonky on a speeding train and folks are too connected to the stories, they aren't using their brains.  They are accepting unconditionally.  For now... I simply need a break.  

Me and the girls

family gatherings....

I'm going to focus on my garden, my puppies, my family, and my hobbies.  I can't change the world around me, but I can change the world within me... 

love and prayers...

thinking out loud...

There is rain moving in. Or at least the promise of rain.  The air is thick with it, not humid, but heavy.  Like it wants to burst forth with life giving water and soothe the land.  It was supposed to start around 3 am, now it looks like it might come around 10 am.  Who knows if it will actually fall.  I didn't water the garden yet, just in case.  It's a beautiful 71° outside right now, so I'm not too worried.  

The pups are taking full advantage of the cool weather and running around like crazy.  Chasing leaves that are falling because of the heat, butterflies and imaginary sounds.  They have been at it for over an hour now, nap time is going to hit hard. They've only stopped for come inside for a quick drink of water and a touch of kibble. Playing in the cool weather is much more to their liking this morning, they have lots of stored up energy to burn off since yesterday was sort of blistery hot during the day. 

I was going to sit in the garden to write this morning, but it's a touch too noisy for me to be able to concentrate.  I guess one of the neighbors is having a deck built or repaired or something, and the crew working on it definitely got an early start.  Around 6:15 this morning you could hear the sounds of saws and various power tools.  I get it, I'm definitely not mad at them at all.  When it's as hot as it's been by mid-day, you are much smarter if you start early and break in the middle when the heat is high and uncompromising. 

When I lived in Crete, that is how life moved.  The days started super early, and slowed dramatically from around noon to three. During the heat of the day the shops closed, the men headed to the little cafe's and sat outside talking and playing games.  I don't remember what the women were doing, I just know that around 3 pm we would walk down the hill to the bakery and bought fresh bread for dinner most days.  I remember you could smell it baking throughout the village.  The men worked outdoors, they were farmers and fisherman primarily in the small village I lived in, they needed that moment in the shade.  They would get back to work in the late afternoon and work until evening when it became cool and welcoming once again. 

Hubs and I were drinking our coffee this morning and chatting about my inability to remember the day of the week.  He mentioned that he was a bit jealous of the fact, one bit of discussion led to another and had us wondering why the work day model was ever developed or accepted over all.  It's so unnatural. I work super hard, probably harder than I ever worked when I was employed in the traditional sense.  My days are often long and filled to capacity. I definitely do not follow the Monday - Friday grind.  I work when I have things to do. I rest when I am worn.  Sometimes that means I do absolutely nothing in the middle of the week, and sometimes I am busy as all get out the entire weekend long.  I think the reason that I don't remember the days is because Monday is no longer a day for me to dread and Friday is no longer a long awaited moment of release. 

They are now simply moments of time when the sun is up or down. Somehow we were all convinced to become slaves to a system that doesn't benefit us.  Our children have their natural sleep cycles disrupted to go to sit in schools for hours on end.  Not really learning how to think, it's more being taught what to think.  Long gone are the days where education was for their collective benefit.  They grow up being convinced that the only way to be successful in life is to trade off those five days a week in exchange for the two that you get to semi-claim as your own. And even those lines are becoming far more blurry than before. 

I saw a meme this morning that struck a serious nerve in my heart this morning.  It had a picture of chickens at the top and said "free range animals", at the bottom was a picture of a busy pedestrian street, packed solid with people that said "free range slaves".  Ironically, my daughter made a comment the other day that was basically along the same lines.

We've been so programmed to think of slavery in a single way that I fear we have over looked what is truly going on.  We punch time clocks and do what is required to earn dollars that are taxed at a ridiculously high rate and then we pay more taxes on everything we buy with those few remaining dollars. We end up trading our lives to support what is basically a slave system.  We don't benefit.  We toil. And thank the very people that enslave us.  We have slowly become people that have to be consumers because we have forgotten how to be our own creators.  It has been taken away from us. 

There was a time you built your own home, grew your own food, made your own household goods.  There was a time those skills existed for all of us, gratefully and willingly passed down to the generations that followed. You learned trades, you farmed the land, you might be a shop keeper, of even a healer.  But slowly the trades narrowed as we no longer made things, the farmers had to fight to stay a small farmer or else become part of the huge agricultural complex, those mom and pop shops got gobbled up and spit out by the mega shops that were buying cheap crap from other countries and selling it to us for even less. Finally, healers became part of big Pharma and stopped healing and started treating symptoms of the greater ill, because there is no money in healing. 

Slowly we became conditioned to march in lockstep.  To stop seeing what wasn't working and moving towards accepting it.  At least that is how it feels from my personal place in the world now.  When we don't do what is wanted, there are punishments.  Higher prices, lack of things we have forgotten how to make, things become unavailable or worse illegal, even being controlled by a credit score that impacts everything in your life.  We are forced into compliance, maybe without physical whips and chains.  But the punishments are there just the same. 

all the girls together

Last night we gathered with family and friends, we laughed, we talked, we had fun.  Most of us stayed up way past our bedtimes.  Today I am feeling the effects.  Today I am super weary.  I want to snuggle up with my pups and sleep for a few more hours, I'm tired.  Five hours of sleep was simply not enough. I won't take a nap, I would feel far too guilty if I did.  Knowing that my family and friends that gathered last night to celebrate are struggling through a day where they cannot rest, I'm still caught in that mindset.  If they can't, I won't. But it will definitely be a very early night tonight. 

I know I go down some strange paths... these are just my crazy thoughts and my questions...