waste not...

This day is definitely gearing up to be a busy one.  Actually, it's a busy time in general.  Figured I'd enjoy my coffee and toast while I spend a few moments writing. I'm finding myself sliding back strongly into the desire to put words on a page so to speak, which means I need to steal moments of time to do so. 

Pepper season is rolling in pretty steadily now that the weather is warming. It is looking like we are going to have a bumper crop of jalapeno and cayenne peppers, the dehydrator seems to be running non-stop these days. And the oven is warming to warm the jars for an open kettle batch of jalapeno's.  Pretty soon the tomatoes are going to reach a point they need canned up also, so I definitely do not want to get behind. 

One of my dear friends delivered a fresh batch of scapes and I have to admit I'm struggling. Since discovering them this year I am torn.  Do I dehydrate them for another batch of the most amazing garlic salt ever?  Or do I run them fresh through the food processor and mix with butter?  Both options are incredible, to the point I simply feel paralyzed with an inability to move forward. Pretty sure I'm going to end up splitting them into two batches and doing a bit of both.  

The more I learn and practice the art of growing and making my own ingredients for cooking, the more intense I seem to be getting. I am enjoying doing things God's way and in God's time.  I am cherishing the simplicity of the process and often find myself wondering how businesses were ever able to convince us to be consumers as opposed to producers. 

If you've read my blogs for any length of time you know that I have been slightly obsessed with that question and those thoughts forever. I struggle to understand this crazy, modern, consumer driven world that we live in.  The amount of waste and the loss of freedom connected to this path are pure insanity for me.  I don't function well in that realm.  Ask anyone that has to endure going with me to an actual large store, I despise them.  

As a result you will rarely encounter me in an actual grocery store, there are still a few things I cannot make on my own.  But most of it, I lean towards smaller, independent stores.  The butcher shop (especially if they deal with locally sourced meats), for veggies and fruits - well those find me either at the Amish market or a Mennonite one.  We also have a locally family owned fruit/veggie market that I prefer to frequent - although they are in the process of enlarging their business and I fear for what that might mean to the quality and local atmosphere that it brings. 

I often create my own household goods, to the extent that I can.  And this year has found me returning to making even more of my own clothing.  Or finding ways to go local and small. I find myself more and more stepping out of the world man has created for us to function in.  

For a bit now the words "waste not, want not" have been a huge mantra for me.  A drumbeat that I am very comfortable marching to. I find it is getting stronger every day.  I feel less and less of a need for the newest, greatest, latest of anything.  I am feeling pulled in a very different direction. 

I keep hearing a small voice (feeling is probably more accurate), a conviction that it's time to seriously start living my truth.  To not be afraid of what people will think or feel about it.  Truth is, if they have a negative thought about any of it, then they aren't my people. 

Things keep popping up in my life that demand me to pay attention. Nothing bad, not in the least.  More so, it feels like guidance.  I've prayed for a long time for direction, for an understanding of what I am doing in my life, heck with my life. I've ignored more guidance than I can shake a stick at.  Mostly out of fear, mostly because I lacked the faith to move in the direction of my heart. 

Yesterday as our pastor spoke about what faith truly is, I felt the words "waste not" again and again.  So many times in my life, I have had opportunities to follow the path I truly wanted to follow and so many times, instead of simply having faith and stepping out of the boat and focusing on Jesus (hello Peter). Nope, instead I did what my head was telling me, not my heart. 

I have worked an insane assortment of jobs, always searching for the one that would fill my heart.  Always ignoring the small still voice.  No time, can't squeeze it in, are you kidding me?  Yep, those words have often left my faithless mouth.  

Over two years ago life shifted.  In the most wonderful way.  I have been slowly learning to operate on faith.  Slowly I have been stomping down on the faithless voice of fear and learning. I have been healing. Changing a path that was never for me, into following the one that always was for me. 

Waste not. 

I could mourn the years wasted to my petty bullheadedness.  I could I guess.  But I'm not going to.  I have always felt that everything happens in the right time.  We have been given free will for a reason.  Some of us are more rebellious children.  Unable or unwilling to have complete faith in the gifts that are there for the taking.  If we only have faith. If we focus on our Father and his unending love.

Waste not.

I've spent so much time in the silence in this season of my life.  Time spent learning to listen. I am following a path I feel very drawn to follow this time.  It doesn't seem rational in the least, yet every time I start to feel that I am being silly and need to simply move away from the ideas something pops up to pull me back onto the path. Last night it was a simple text from my sister that felt like the light from a lighthouse guiding the way.

I did a bit of research into the phrase "waste not, want not"... seems it's been around for a very, very long time.  First being recorded as far back as the 1700's, and who knows how much further back it goes.  A much wordier version was noted as being used as far back as the 1570's.  It seems such a simple phrase.  The more I think of it, the deeper and more thought provoking it becomes.  It has always been a phrase that I have used.  I simply don't remember a time I didn't. 

Waste not.  

It can apply to your spiritual life, material life, to resources, time, energy, thoughts and words to simply name a few.  It's the phase of my life I am moving into in more ways than one.  So much is still melding and developing in my mind, heart and spirit.  I am following a "feeling"... I have to admit I am a touch anxious, a bit unsure, a bit fearful.  But that feeling is stronger than any of those things.  Doors are being pointed out, ideas are swarming at a rate that is overwhelming and powerful. 

I feel like there are markers everywhere I turn, pointing me in the direction to go, if only I will stop being bullheaded and follow in the way I know in my heart I want to go... 

Waste not. Want not... 

I'm listening.  I'm having faith.  I choose to no longer waste dreams. 

Waste Knot, Want Knot... finally... it's time...