foggy with a touch of mist...

It's a dense foggy morning here in the Lou.  I'm looking out the window and feeling wrapped in an odd cocoon of gray and white, almost like a cotton ball. It makes the day feel lonely and far too quiet and still.  As I went out on the deck to take the picture I realized everything is covered in mist. It's so strange how it covers everything. The oddness of the day has very sound in my house making me a bit jumpy as a result. 

Hubs had to be in to work super early, he's doing a favor for one of his team.  He's definitely the kind of supervisor that you want to have, he goes out of his way to make their lives easier and more family centric.  One of the things I am most proud of him for.  When you work with someone that makes it feel like you are part of a team as opposed to being directed to do everything, it makes it a much better situation all around. I understand why he had to go so early, but it only makes these kind of days more sinister feeling, when they are anything but. Days like this really make me miss my boys. Their calmness would have had me far less jumpy. Thankfully, he chatted with me on his entire drive to work. 

I know that the noises are outside, the wind pushing branches, the neighbors opening and closing doors in the dense mist. They are things like the heater kicking on and rattling the duct work and my plants that are too close to the vents.  It's strange the tricks your mind can play on you when its creepy and foggy out. 

My imagination has already drummed up someone or something in the attic, wondering if the house has suddenly become haunted or a million other things.  It's craziness in real time.  Could be a bit of sleep deprivation also, as I woke up around three this morning and couldn't drift back to sleep.  My brain started on high gear telling me to get busy on my stack of projects. 

I'm actually just taking a coffee and chat with my sister break.  In a few I will head back upstairs to finish a few small projects and spend the rest of the day quilting.  

There is such a strange feeling to life right now, nothing feels normal.  I really can't explain it.  I constantly think of things I want or need to do, but then I don't feel that I should do them.  Its so weird. I mean, I still haven't decorated for Christmas, at all!  And my kitchen is literally covered in boxes, wrapping paper and presents waiting for me to finish wrapping them.  I have a feeling that I won't decorate until this weekend.  I am afraid to carry things on the stairs, out of fear of falling, and the darn things will not bring themselves up. 

I might be taking the need to hibernate a bit too seriously.  I have no idea. I am sure it has more to do with feeling overwhelmed right now.  I don't understand why, but I am definitely feeling overwhelmed.  I also don't do clutter well and right now my world feels very cluttered.  Or maybe it is because the more of it I clean out, the more I find that I want to clean out.  I'm simply not sure. I know when I cleaned the bedroom and did the ironing at 330 this morning, I felt more focused and wanted to do more tasks.  Maybe the clutter of all these projects is causing me to feel overwhelmed.  Anyone else feel that way?

Well, I guess I should dig into the "clutter" which is actually just a ton of unfinished projects and head up to my sewing room.  

love and peace... 

the inside voice...

Yikes, the sun is already blasting through the window. I have been way too busy with everything else this morning, time has definitely gotten away from me.  Oddly, it feels refreshing though.  I've been chatting with friends both local and across the pond. I spent time drinking coffee and wrapping presents with the Hubs and planning some time and events with friends.  I would definitely say I haven't wasted the last four hours, I simply can't believe how fast the time has gone. 

It feels odd for the fireplace to be empty this morning, even though the wood is stacked in front of it, but I have too much to do that can't be accomplished in front of the fire. I asked Hubs to not build one.  I have a few more gifts that must be wrapped so they are ready to mail today, I'm simply not trusting the mail service.  Some days its super reliable, other's... I think they route it via China and back.  Better safe than sorry.

Today, will find me mostly hanging out in my sewing room, I promised a friend a quilt and I need to get with it.  It isn't going to take a lot of time, but it will take all the time in the world if I don't get with it. As I was chatting with her yesterday it dawned on me how very soon the holidays will sneak up on us.  

I have photographed all of the projects to add to my website.  It's not going to happen anytime soon, because I am swamped at the moment, frankly I'm planning ahead for 2022.  So now everything can be wrapped, labeled and marked off of my holiday list.  And the dreaded to - do list.  

I was watching a video last night, it's theme has popped up in different forms for me a lot lately and I believe that it's time for me to hear the words and learn them.  The theme is that "no one is coming".  I guess that could be negative if that were the entire context, but it isn't.  

No one is coming to make me do the things I want and need to do with my life.  And I feel I am not the only one that is subconsciously waiting for that someone to show up and force me to... well adult. 

No one is making me shower and get dressed daily, I will admit to getting wrapped up in my projects and forgetting to do that.  Realizing at 3 pm or later that I am still happily roaming my house in my pj's, deeply engrossed in whatever got my attention that morning.  Also realizing that when I get up, shower, put on clothing and face the day head on that I am more energetic and focused. The dangers of not working outside the house any longer.

No one is going to make me do my exercises that will help me heal.  And by heal I am not simply referring to my knee, but to my whole body.  The body that suffered a great deal from my previous lifestyle.  And those exercises don't just heal the body, but they lift you up mentally and emotionally.  I find that when Hubs is too busy to walk, that I am easily self-enticed to not go on my own.  The truth is no one can give me that motivation, it has to be internal. 

No one is showing up to force me to make good and healthy food choices, I do that myself.  For many years I didn't.  Too busy, too distracted, too... well you get the picture. I also do some of it for Hubs, but it is entirely up to him if he is going to follow through and make those choices for himself. 

No one is going to show up and create my business plan and my website, I have to.  These are my dreams that are on the line, no one else. Hubs can support and influence, but I have to be the lead.

This line of reasoning can apply to most everything in our lives... careers, finances, relationships, spirituality, knowledge, pretty much any goal that you set for yourself it comes down to you. Sure you can pay someone to do the surface stuff, but beyond that it's you. 

So you can see where I am going with this right?  Subconsciously, it is easy to fall into routines.  It is easy to decide that this or that can wait.  To feel like big things won't feel so big if you don't think about them for a while.  When the reality is, they not only stay big, but get bigger when you ignore them.  When you wait for someone or something to step in and do the big things. The tough things.  I believe a lot of times we as humans are simply uncomfortable with the silence that has to surround the resolve to create change. We are uncomfortable stepping into the unknown, so we sit in the comfort of the known. All the while waiting for that shove from someone else. When the true solution is we, ourselves, show up. 

Like I said this keeps showing up for me in many forms.  I firmly believe that the universe is trying to get me to stop and think things through.  To encourage me to take control of situations and move it forward. So many little bits are already coming together.  I am trying to tackle them all like one would eat the proverbial elephant, one bite at a time.  I am finding by breaking things into smaller pieces I am able to see the bigger pictures without pushing myself back into that "comfort zone" out of fear of the unknown. 

Anyone else feeling they need to become more self-sufficient?  Because I feel like that is what it is telling me.  I am not a Nike fan, never have been, but there old ad campaign of "Just do It" sure seems to apply here. 

Motivation can only be self-driven.  I'm choosing to lean into self... and with that I'm off to get back to "work".

love and peace...

becoming me...

Brrrrr... baby it's cold outside!  And I love it! In all fairness I might love it because I am inside by a toasty fire, all I know for sure is that I am totally a four seasons kind of girl. Yesterday when I went to refill my coffee cup I noticed snow flurries for the first time this year. I might admit to squealing with joy.  I mean they were super light and hardly noticeable, but there was officially snow sighted.  Let the winter season begin! And yep, I know it's not winter yet, but.... 

Yesterday was so unbelievably busy, I don't think my fingers stopped except for the snippet of time I stole to cook.  It was so productive.  Today I am going to find a space to take photos of all of the things created, so that I can use them on my website (yes the one I started months ago that hasn't gone live yet....).  And then, it's wrapping paper central.  I am not a fan of wrapping gifts, no let me rephrase that, I don't like spending hours wrapping gifts, so a few at a time is okay.  I will also admit, I am a huge fan of printed boxes and bags with tissue paper. I know that seems a bit lazy, but with the hours that have gone into creating, it seems a bit anticlimactic.

While I was working yesterday, I was listening to some podcasts, it helps me pass the time.  One in particular was talking about the upcoming year and what kind of things were you going to work on doing more of and what were you going to release because it no longer served you. 

It really resonated with me. 

This year has been an interesting one to say the least and while it was full of challenges, I can't honestly say that any of those challenges did not lead to a more fulfilling life for me. And consider the coming year in that manner was interesting.  I don't usually look at things from that perspective.  Although this year has taught me that letting go is vital to healing. I don't know that I often consider the very act of intentionally letting go of things. 

My fingers were flying through the yarn, working on the project before me as I absorbed the ideas and the thoughts presented. I process things better when my hands are busy and it had me thinking what kind of things do I still need to release?

So far in 2021 I have released a career that didn't serve me, a car, a knee that caused pain, I had released the idea that working myself like a machine was a good thing, and I have started releasing the ownership of so much stuff.  

I mean I cleaned out a full pick up bed full of clothing, purses and some shoes - yet I look our closets and they are still packed to bursting.  Hubs and I definitely did not follow the one new thing in, one old thing out theory, we just bought more hangers.  We could almost star in an episode of Hoarders in the clothing department. After the holidays I plan to do a deeper cleaning out of things that no longer work for us.  Holding on to something simply because I might wear it again for an event some day is silly. As I work through the process, only the classic styles are going to remain.  Things that are high quality and won't end up looking dated.  Not that I follow styles at all, because I don't and couldn't tell you what is "in" if I tried.  My actual final goal is more of a pocket wardrobe.  

Then I started wondering about the intangibles. Those things that we cannot hold in our hands, but more so hold in our hearts and minds.  

Things like thoughts of inadequacies or discomfort about ourselves. For example, I remember at the beginning of the year I was completely wrapped up in my hair falling out, it was devastating.  On a lot of levels, I felt that I was losing the one thing that was beautiful about me.  I have always loved my hair and my smile. The rest of it was bah humbug ordinary.  The handfuls of hair that fell constantly felt like I was losing who I was, I truly was crushed. I could only focus on that loss.  

It wasn't until I decided oh well, if it all falls out I am going to rock some gypsy style scarfs and break out my huge hoop earrings that I started to be okay.  And now six months later, I have a head full of wispy fuzzy gray hair that shines like a halo most of the time.  I don't fight it, I celebrate it. I even laugh at the ones that look like tiny bangs trying to take over the show.  But I had to let go of that identity issue.  So that I could emotionally heal from it. It didn't define me, and I was yet again allowing my perception of what others would think dictate my feelings. 

This year has been a series of ego deaths for me.  So much of who I thought I was was stripped away and destroyed.  Things that defined who I was have been removed and the things that I am discovering bring me joy and happiness.  

I am finding a person that is far less connected to my perception of others expectations, tangible things, and staying in situations that cause negative feelings.  I am okay with saying things don't serve me or I do not wish to participate in something simply because it is expected.  I am okay with "no". 

As I am starting to wrap up this season of life and starting to focus on the hibernation period that winter brings I am really processing what I want to grow and develop.  I am not through releasing things, I just feel that I have a pretty darn good grasp on that process.  I feel that I have just spent a year learning to let go and it's been so incredible and healing! I feel much better prepared to start growing. I want to expand on the person that I have discovered this year. I want to spend time exploring the things that truly matter in who I wish to be.

I am feeling drawn to being a more holistic person, focusing on my mental, spiritual and physical health is a strong one for me.  This path is far more expansive than I ever realized, there is much to explore, to learn to develop.  

I am a creative person. I thrive when I am creating the things I need for my life.  I am going to be focusing in on learning new skills and perfecting the ones I have developed over the years.  Even making the projects that I have been focused on I am seeing a difference in the things I am creating. 

The outlines are still being drawn, I feel strongly that the path needs to be led from my heart, I also feel it is an evolving path that will have lots of twists and turns and I travel it. I am striving to be who I am here to be, not who others define me to be.  My bullheaded nature is becoming strong, protective, it is telling me it is okay to be that odd little gray haired woman.  

The one that studies strange things like astrology, the planets, herbs and their uses, that learns natural ways to grow a garden that will provide not only beauty but bounty.  The woman that gets lost in the act of creating and learning. The one that wants to explore all of the simpler things that this beautiful planet has laid out for us.  It is really okay to wrap myself up in the physical world and stop being of this modern world.

And if others don't like it... so be it. Taurus is going to be strong for us in the coming months, it beacons us back to simpler times.  Like this gal needs an excuse or any help right? I feel the pull of it's energy hard enough already. 

So... as we move into this new year, as we get ready for hibernation time, for that time of going inward what are you going to let go of?  What are you going to dig deeper and grow stronger in? I'm dying to know... 

love and peace...

the workshop...

In the midst of the chaos this elf is having a blast!  I am surrounded by so many items that have been made with love for people that mean so much to me.  I am truly enjoying this Christmas experience.  It's so different than years past.  There will be small things that I purchased over the past few months that will join the gifts I have made, but for the first time in far too long, the majority of the gifts I give will be handmade.  

Everywhere I turn right now are piles needing the finishing touches and to be wrapped.  Today will be about a combination of finishing up the gifts for the kids on the coast and getting everything currently in the house wrapped and ready for gifting. 

I cherish the act of giving gifts, nothing lavish, just something to let you know that you have been on my mind and in my heart.  The Christmas carols are playing, the fire is burning and the coffee is hot.  I know some folks don't enjoy these things.  I understand.  But for me, they are very important. It's odd, this year I am not in a tizzy about the tree and trimmings, but I am completely loving the rest of it.  

I didn't end up decorating the house yesterday, it really was planned.  You know what they say about the best laid plans... instead we ran across the river so Hubs could try on a Santa suit, he is going to be Santa for the oldest's Christmas event at work.  And he's lost so much weight we decided our best course of action was for him to try the suit on to make sure it was the right size that we'd reserved.  We always get his suit from the same place, the quality is incredible. 

Then we decided to drop off clothes to my youngest sister, she hasn't been able to get over to our house, so I figured we'd go to her.  We didn't realize how many clothes we had to give.  Whatever they can't use in their family will get split up between my sisters church family and my nieces work family, she's a teacher and they keep clothes to help the community when needed. After Christmas I will start digging through the closets some more, we both have stupid amounts of clothing that we don't wear and other's will benefit from.  Work clothes that are just sitting in the closet, time for them to move on. 

So while I didn't decorate, the events of the day definitely put me in a Christmasy mood.  It feels so good to do things for others.  Hubs dropped off the candles I made for both of our neighbors, they spent the weekend picking up my mail and all the boxes that weren't supposed to arrive until the end of this week or early next week.  Great neighbors that will help you out are priceless!

I love this time of the year.  And I really love it this year, I finally have time to enjoy it.  It isn't about the gifts, frankly I don't care if I get a single one (although I have not been able to convince my sweet Hubs of this), it is about the goodwill.  A tangible reminder to simply do good.  To be good.  To put others before yourself. 

I've been working on writing down my favorite recipes to send to the people that have asked.  Some I have made since I was a young girl, some are more recent, and some are family favorites that have stood the test of time. I actually got my first one in the mail the other day and I am so thankful to receive it.  It felt like a gift of self.  How cool is that?

I am so thankful for this shift in gifting.  I keep sharing things on social media regarding giving gifts that people might truly need and use.  And maybe it is something as simple as a gas card.  Times are tough and getting tougher for a lot of people.  I think a lot of folks are feeling the same way.  We all have a lot of "stuff".  Things are so different than when I was a kid and we got things we needed (of course my folks also got us a ton of stuff too).  But I always remember new clothes and shoes too.  It wasn't like it is now, we didn't just get because we liked it.  We got when we needed it or it was a holiday. I sort of miss that.  I miss stockings filled with assorted nuts (in the shell), fruit and of course a few bits of chocolate.  I have missed the simple for far too long. 

This simple girls heart is full.  Well... time to get busy... 

love and peace...  

questioning norms...

The wind chimes are going absolutely nuts this morning, the trees are bending and bowing in the wind, and there are almost no leaves left on them, except for the stubborn ones that hold on until almost January.  I can see the lights over on our daughter's street from my comfy chair.  It feels like winter is getting ready to make it's appearance known.  There will be a few more warm days.  They are popping in and out as a reminder that winter hasn't officially arrived yet. 

I have a bit more unpacking from our trip to take care of today and then I am ready to tackle the world.  Or at least my small part of it.  I need to shift gears and start wrapping and labeling gifts, I need to start packing the boxes that need to be mailed.  The mail service is so spotty lately that I am afraid their gifts won't arrive to put under their trees if I don't get them out soon. 

I'm fighting a strong urge to slow down, to not push as hard as normal. 

I have seen a few things lately that address the strong human need to hibernate in the winter, just like all of the other animals do.  I get it.  As the leaves fall, the winds start to roar and the temperatures drop, I long to simply slow down.  I never really connected the two before.  I just feel at a very core level that this is the time to slow.  To rest. To rejuvenate.  It makes complete sense. As the longer nights beacon us to rest, we humans have been conditioned to push through.  To just keep going.  Instead of hearing the very primal call of Mother Nature.  

I've been pondering a lot about the things that we have been programmed to fight against almost since birth. We fight our circadian rhythms non-stop almost from the time we are born.  We give babies a bit of grace, but immediately push them to start sleeping through the night.  I wonder how different we would be if we truly gave into our own nature driven circadian cycle.  Our kids are all grown, and now that I don't have an alarm waking me, I find I have shifted even more in how I naturally sleep and exist. 

Here's the thing, I am calmer, I have very little stress.  And the lack of stress isn't because there is nothing to worry about, there still are many things to worry over.  I simply don't find myself reacting to those things in the same manner.  There are many times that I don't sleep as much as I used to, but I am far more rested and alert.  I have a greater ability to cope with life. 

I rarely do anything now that my body isn't simply asking for.  Hubs still wants to eat at the prescribed times.  I don't often do that.  I will fix his meals, but I won't personally eat until I am actually hungry.  If I am tired at six at night, I crawl into bed without the slightest bit of guilt or regret.  And if I wake up at three in the morning, and feel I cannot go back to sleep, I don't.  I get up, I do things and if I get tired again, I sleep.  If I don't, then I don't. 

I am learning to reset myself into my own circadian rhythm.  And the change in me as a person is profound.  I can't help but wonder, if we got rid of clocks and everyone was able to naturally adjust to their personal internal clock if society as a whole would be far better off.  Morning people, would still be morning people, night people would be night people.  But people as a whole would be better adjusted, more balanced and in far better moods. 

I don't think the rigid structure that we have pushed society into is beneficial to anyone. Look at our children they are waking at stupid early hours to go and sit in a box all day.  Is that truly helping them to learn?  Or are they memorizing and being brainwashed.  Because they are tired and weary, not bright and inquisitive? Do they follow things they are passionate about, allowed to use their imaginations and explore the world around them?  Can they do that in their little sterile boxes? Are they even awake and alert enough to absorb, comprehend and question the information or is that the idea in the first place? Children need more sleep, yet we force them to get less, why?  What is the benefit?

I'm a long way past school age, but the classes I remember were tactile, hands on, ones that involved field trips to explore the topics we were learning about. Ones where I learned useful information. I have never stopped learning and growing my own knowledge base.  It is eclectic and vast.  If something intrigues me, I will jump feet first into it, learning everything I can, like a sponge soaking up a spill.  I will continue to explore it, to delve into the nuts and bolts of it.  

If something bores me, I will walk away.  Maybe not physically, but mentally.  I remember not to long ago being required to participate in things that to me didn't feel designed to teach, but to program, to create a desired response and action.  I can tell you, my brain shut down hard.  I tuned it out.  I simply went through the motions. And if I was tired because it fell during the time of the day that I struggle with... well then it was a completely lost cause.  And if you were to go through my piles of old papers you would see massive amounts of doodling and drawing.  I had checked out.  I was done. 

I question if the whole point of the structure that we find ourselves living in isn't to stifle our inquisitive nature, if it isn't to block the natural flow and make us far more compliant.  When worn and out of sorts we often become malleable, we tune out.  We no longer seem to question or explore we simply exist.

I know... serious rabbit hole here... welcome to some of the crazy things that occur to me now that I have time to think and pursue a life that brings me joy and fulfillment.  I often find myself questioning many things and exploring with a childlike wonder the environment around me.  

Have you ever watched a youth soccer game?  Do you remember the kiddo that is supposed to be goalie or part of the defense when the other team is controlling the ball at the far end of the field?  Do you remember seeing them looking at the flowers, the clovers, maybe the ants crawling through the grass unaware that there is anything going on around them?  Or maybe they are gazing at the clouds looking for shapes and birds?  That is how I feel.  I am that child.  I am aware that there is an entire world swirling around me, I am also aware that I am still a part of it, but I am off staring at the world around me with fresh and different eyes. 

I wish I could draw everyone around me into this experience.  I still want to be a productive part of our society, I want to experience abundance.  But I also want to be a part of a better society.  One that thinks, one that questions, one that understands our deep connection with nature and works in the natural world, not fighting against it. I simply don't want to be programmed any longer.  

Okay... this woman evidently needs to go and just enjoy her fire, hot coffee and listen to her wind chimes.  Maybe just watch the beauty unfolding around me as the sun breaks over the horizon.  I am not so sure that today is a day that will find me fitting in nicely with the path of society. 

love and peace...

no place like home...

It's hard to leave loved ones knowing that the visit is never long enough and the next one is too far off.  The extended family definitely do not live close. On either side. Our quick Christmas visit to Alabama flew past in the blink of an eye.  It's hard to believe it even happened now, as I am sitting here in my favorite chair.  So hard to believe that just this morning we were all gathered around the table enjoying each other's company, laughing at puns and trying to forget that we would soon be leaving again. 

It took us about 9.5 hours, the trip home is always so much longer, mentally, than the drive to wherever you are going.  We didn't make many stops, we set the GPS and headed west.  We stopped to stretch legs, get gas, walk (the knee was a bit stiffer today) and grab snacks and drinks to munch on while driving. We were definitely on a mission.  The shorter days also make the journey tougher, neither of us is fond of driving in the dark and Hubs prides himself on doing almost all of our driving so that I can work on projects.  

That early darkness on a virtually moonless night. It's so dark due to the cloud cover and the fact that we are in the waxing crescent phase of the moon- Hubs calls it God's Fingernail, that it felt like it had to be midnight.  I would have felt that way if we had been sitting home all day. But that darkness compounded with the fact that we know it will be spring before we get together again just made the time drag on.  I swear at one point I looked at the clock several times and it hadn't changed. 

Every time we go to Alabama I am so impressed by the beauty of the area.  The rolling hills and deep valleys are so beautiful.  The Birmingham area is a bit congested for my tastes, but this time we went out and about exploring some of the quaint small towns and antiquing.  

Hubs, Sis and I found plenty to keep us busy and explored the area near her home.  We also hung out with the little guy. I gotta say that little stinker sure was a good sport running around with us old folks all day instead of enjoying little guy stuff.  He only asked me once when we were going to get to the part of the adventure that he would like. 

He also demonstrated his photography skills taking several great photos of the old folks. We did manage to find a wonderful Santa hanging out in the town square (fairly certain he was roasting in that nice red suit - it was a whopping 73 degrees and sunny). And a beautiful fountain where there little guy had a snack and played. I love little towns with lots of character and I have to say Columbiana had tons of it!

We managed to meet up with Mrs. Claus the first night, boy was everyone surprised that she decided to come and have Mexican at the same spot we were enjoying dinner.

There was still a lot we planned to do, but plans change, time is never enough and we had to agree that some of it was simply going to have to wait until the next visit.  Seems we always run out of time to sew and never enough time to play cards. I was really hoping for sewing time.  Instead, I did some crocheting and knitting while we visited.  The little guy loved his Christmas gift, a minion hat, but was quick to let me know that he would equally love a Grinch hat if I happened to want to make one. Watching him struggling to decide which one to wear made those few little hours spent riding and crocheting worth even more.  

Hubs got to spoil his Sis, she definitely spoiled us, but watching those two is hilarious... it appears that they are both trying to out spoil the other.  I definitely saw Hubs back down this weekend.  I never see Hubs back down. But hey, oldest sisters have to win sometimes.  We aren't the oldest for nothing.  And we all know that the baby is used to getting their own way, but not this time.  It was beautiful!  One for the win Sis. It definitely fills my heart with joy when we can visit and enjoy one another. 

We have one more day of vacation, we planned a bit better than usual and it is reserved for resting back up from traveling.  We thought about going hiking at Meramec State Park again (Hubs managed to find me a walking stick and we were going to break it in) but the low 70's in Alabama is hot compared to the low 70's here in the Midwest and tomorrow is only going to be 41 for the high.  Nope, neither of us needs a case of pneumonia, I started the year that way, I do not intend to end it like that.  So we are going to take care of little things around the house.  

Maybe we will get our decorations up, wrap some presents to send far away, finish up some other presents... you know the normal every day stuff. 

Before you think I've forgotten, my great nephew had the first of his heart surgeries on Friday.  Fingers crossed and prayers to heaven he continues to be such a strong little fighter, because he is definitely defying odds left and right.  I really appreciate all of the prayers and healing thoughts that have been being sent on his behalf. 

It's been a busy, emotional, fun, lovely weekend.  Hubs is already asleep upstairs, he did his job and got us safely home.  He takes that role very seriously.  It was hard for him to leave, he kept going back for one more hug.  I don't blame him, it's hard to leave your family.  I struggle every time we leave Arkansas or California too. None of us are getting any younger and this crazy world, just keeps getting crazier. 

I'm weary myself.  I can't wait to curl into my own bed, in my own home and dream a few dreams myself.  I just needed to sit here and enjoy my favorite chair and write for a few... 

 

everyday ordinary...

Life is a bit more normal this morning, the sun isn't up, the coffee is hot and a roaring fire is warming my toes.  This feels comforting, not so discombobulated. Yesterday was so disjointed.  Yet oddly productive.  I finished a project, started another hat, made candles (shared with a dear friend how to make them), wrapped a couple of gifts, and started the cranberries drying... yep, very productive day.  All the while talking to family and sending many prayers heavenward for my dear little great nephew and his family. 

Today will be another prayer filled one as they start his journey of surgeries.  This morning, he will get his PIC line, before the end of the week he will have his first heart surgery.  His is definitely a strong little heart  warrior.  I look at all of his pictures and it is so hard to tell this little guy is anything but perfectly healthy.  He looks like he is a tough little fella that just might punch you in the nose if you don't do what he'd like.  He is rosy and chunky.  If you take away all the medical paraphernalia, you would never know how very strong he is and how much of a battle he is waging.  He has an army of prayer warriors, healers, and faith workers surrounding him and a family that is ready to join his fight.  He is well loved. 

Today is going to be another very busy day for me.  We are heading to see family tomorrow.  So much to get done that I feel I will definitely need a list or something important will be forgotten.  I find myself a touch unorganized lately.  I get so wrapped up in the things that are important to me and forget the rest, they simply seem to vanish, until that awkward moment when I realize why it needed done. 

 We have a fairly long drive, so I am trying to determine what projects to take with me.  I think the sweater for the youngest grand is a top priority, honestly I think I might be able to complete it during the drive time.  That would be incredible!  But I also have quite a few smaller things to work on also, and will probably bring at least one or two of those as backups.  I hate running out of projects when traveling.  It makes the time fly for me and I forget that I am sitting for so long. 

I'm a touch nervous as to how my knee will react, this is by far the longest I have attempted since repairing it.  Thankfully we planned our travel time to be almost double the trip time, that way if I need for us to stop for a bit and walk, it won't be a challenge. The things I fret over, seem pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things.   

Please remember to send a prayer up if it is in your heart to do so, healing energy and love are also deeply appreciated.  But also just a small reminder to reach out to your loved ones, to look around and see who might be struggling and lift them up.  We are all in this crazy thing called life together and I have a sneaking suspicion that it is only with love, compassion and by pulling together that we succeed. 

love and peace...