the calming...

The first fire of the season is warming my toes, the crackling is so soothing to my spirit and soul.  Perfect way to spend this cold autumn Sunday morning.  Hubs offered to make me one outside, I wimped out, 40° is just too cold for an enjoyable bonfire.  Thank goodness for my fireplace.  

I haven't really been in a good spot for writing lately.  There is so much going on in the world that I've adopted more of a non-participatory stance.  Observing and watching quietly from my small corner of life. I've been busy with all of the things that are important to us. 

This morning, I'm enjoying the fire before I get busy for the day.  Autumn is definitely here and I have been a bit lazy.  It's time to put up more soups, I picked up some beautiful butternut squash the other day at the market, some of them are destined to become soup.  Some will be roasted and other's will simply be cubed and canned to roast at a later date.  I also have an entire bushel of apples to tackle.  Hubs was doing a darn good job of wiping out my applesauce stash.  When things are in season you make the most of it. 

As it warms today, I am going to harvest what is left of the green beans, okra, tomatoes and peppers, those will all find their way into soups.  It's getting really cool at night already, the forecast is dipping into the mid-thirties at night, before long we will have frost.  I'd hate to waste any of my hard work.  

I'm considering trying to over winter a few of my pepper plants.  I've seen several great video's and articles on how to do it.  They all did so well this year that I would definitely like to give it a try. Just not sure where I will let them hang out.  I might see if Hubs has any window space left in the man cave.  If it works it would be a complete game changer in terms of how long I have to wait each year for them to finally bud and produce fruit.  Who knows maybe someday I will give in and build a greenhouse. 

I'm fairly sure between soups simmering on the stove, the soft cinnamon and apple smells and the fireplace, our house if going to be filled with the smells that simply provide comfort and a sense of calm. 

This truly is my favorite season of the year.  I like all of them to varying degrees, but this one, while being the ending of the cycle before the winter rest always feels like a beginning to me. Maybe I associate it with the start of the school year, making it a beginning, I'm not sure. For as long as I can remember it has felt like the shift.  The start as opposed to the final act. 

I find myself having more energy for doing more things, I want to spend hours outside absorbing the beauty that surrounds me, cherishing the moments.  The pups seem to agree with me, as they are always up for an adventure.  And will gladly spend time frolicking anywhere we take them.  I keep finding new parks that we haven't explored yet, so they can have new scents and experiences. 

I also find myself wanting to work on my home, insuring that we have everything we need before the winter months approach.  That must be something in the DNA, maybe I am a bit of a pioneer girl at heart, I'm fairly positive that I will never fit into this crazy modern world of ours. And I'm finally comfortable with it.  I have finally reached the point that I have quit trying to fit in.  Love me or leave me, I am simply going to always be a very old fashioned woman. And I'm truly okay with it. 

In fact I'm thriving in it. I never wanted a career, I was always drawn to taking care of my family and home.  Unfortunately our modern world prevented it for a very long time.  I am often saddened that I missed so much time with my kids, that I role modeled the wrong values.  But... they are both successful people in ways that make them happy, so I can't have been too terrible of a role model.  Now I am happy being a stay at home dog mom, doing the things that make a home for my Hubs and I.  I am finally okay with it, I am finally in a good space.  

Well, the fire is starting to die down, the sky is starting to lighten and the promise of a new day is at hand.  Hubs should be wrapping up the work projects that he has spent the morning engrossed in and will soon be wanting breakfast.  Yep... time to start the day... 

love and prayers... 

my world is changing...

The embers of this mornings fire have faded down to ash.  The sun is sneaking above the trees and the chill is slowly leaving the air.  I've already finished mowing and string trimming the yard, so I thought I would have a seat for a few moments and savor a final cup of coffee before moving on to the rest of my tasks that I have set for today.  I was listening to a few of my podcasts while I worked out this morning, spent a bit of time under the early morning sky saying my prayers for the day, I finally feel ready to tackle the world. 

Okay, sort of.  I've decided this week is going to be the finish up projects week.  I need to get the skirt finished for my niece, I have a couple of repair quilt projects to work on and I would like to finish up my "family quilt".  Of course I will find time to work on the sweater that I am currently obsessed with.  

As I am moving into the cooler months, when I become obsessed with creating while the cold rages outside, I want to start with a clear plate.  I don't want to owe anyone a project.  Normally this is the start of my personal Santa's workshop period.  I've come to a few conclusions over the course of the past few years.  And this year, will be very different. 

I've struggled hard with how commercialized the holidays have become.  How ritualistic.  I've actually agonized over it a lot.  I don't want to spend hours opening gifts that will be forgotten before the end of the day and even more hours creating and wrapping gifts that will never be treasured as I day dream while making them.  It isn't because the recipient is ungrateful, it's because this is a very different time in our world.  

While I sit for hours creating treasures, I have visions of little house on the prairie dancing in my head.  I imagine Laura being so grateful for the warm hat and mittens, and Mary cherishing the sweater.  I see Ma wrapping herself in the quilt... you get the picture right?  

The reality of our world today, is that if people want something, they buy it.  "Things" are simply that.  For years my sisters and I have debated about when to stop the insanity.  Someone always has hurt feelings or dismay, each of us at different times has been the stumbling block.  All the while our own families have grown and honestly everyone is overwhelmed with stuff. 

My kids have repeatedly told me to stop buying them gifts, that they have no need for the things and no where to store them.  My gut felt horribly like that being a bad mom.  My folks put huge emphasis on Christmas gifts.  

This year is going to be very different.  I'm not anticipating any of the kids being around at Christmas.  They will be busy making memories, as they should.  I am not going to spend hundreds of dollars on things to find in yard sales or donation piles.  

I am going to enjoy this season of life.  The must do's are going to be replaced by the want to's. I will no doubt make Hubs and I our favorite cookies.  I will insure that each of our children has something small that will let them know we are thinking of them and love them very much.  But I fully intend to immerse myself in celebrating the season not the shopping.  

This fall and winter will find me finally completing projects that have been in my to do pile for far too long.  I have many things that I have longed to make for myself, but felt selfish for doing so.  I don't want to do that any longer.  Making a pair of socks and a sweater for me felt amazing.  I am anxious to finish the one I am working on now and can already envision the yarn of the one that will follow, and the next if I'm being honest.  Because I already have the yarn, it's been sitting silently by, waiting for me to finally have the time and attention to give to it.  

I'm learning that a lot of what we have been programmed to think, to believe, is simply not truth.  There is no area of our lives that isn't tainted.  I feel like I'm healing from it, albeit slowly.  We are conditioned and programmed in many areas.  I'm fairly positive it is no where in the bible that we should spend ourselves into bankruptcy to provide a Christmas season.  I'm also sure that many of the other things we have been taught, encouraged to believe and forced to observe have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with Christmas. 

I'm going through a process in life, a process that is painful and abundant at the same time.  No one wants to see that they have been subjected to falsehoods at every turn for the majority of their lives.  No one wants to believe that they have been duped.  Sadly, more and more is making sense.  And sadly is probably not the word I want, maybe profoundly, because I am not sad, I am relieved. 

Maybe at some point we will all return to those Christmas's of old, where the time spent with family and friends gathered near the fireplace laughing, talking, playing games or even music will return.  Where the joy of sharing a great meal prepared by many hands will have center stage.  Where there is a meaningful gift for your loved ones, not piles and piles of stuff. 

That is the season that I am leading towards this year. It might just be Hubs and I, and of course the pups, but it will be meaning filled.  I don't intend to follow any doctrine, I will still honor God in the way that is true to my heart, I will celebrate the gift of his son, but I am not going to follow the mass media induced shopping and buying insanity. 

I know it is an odd topic as I sit here in the beauty of this early fall morning, but my heart really felt that it needed to be written down.  I should probably be sitting here thinking of making healthy stews and raking leaves. Yup that tree out front, the first to shed it's leaves every year has already started to drop them at a frantic rate.  

Soon it will be time to put the garden to bed for the winter... oh will that be sad, yet it will immediately start my day dreaming of next years garden.  Today as I make a hearty veggie stew, I will be putting the last of my green beans and most of my carrots in it.  I might even add a pepper or two and definitely I will dice up the tomatoes that are still waiting for me to use them. 

These simple things are bringing me great joy and peace.  They are what is allowing me to step out of this system that has been created for us.  The one where the more we desire, the more we spend, the more someone else and the governments profit.  It is moving me mentally and emotionally to a simpler time.  I had known it was out there, for a very long time, I just couldn't find the will to break free and chase it.  Now that I have, I struggle to find the will to participate in that world.  The Amish, Mennonites and Quakers might seem extreme to some, to me... I think they were spot on all along.  

The joy that comes from working hard for what you personally need out of life is indescribable. Will I ever step completely out of this world that we are being pressured and forced to participate in, doubtful.  I will still continue to need to find a way to co-exist. 

I can't be the only one feeling this need to disconnect from so much of our reality.  Am I?  I don't think I am, as there are many in my personal tribe that are very much like me.  But I definitely wonder if we are the minority. Yesterday, Italy elected a leader that said "God, country and family"... it appears a pendulum is swinging.  Sweden did basically the same.

Well, while that pendulum is swinging, this girl needs to simply swing on the pendulum of season changes and get her home prepared to welcome the coming season.  Be well... 

love and prayers

treasure the moments...

After an incredibly windy day in the garden it has finally gotten very still and calm.  The sky is a deep inky black tonight, I can only see a few stars, I'm savoring the peace and stillness.  Middle of the afternoon brought pure chaos and the opportunity to look for a new large umbrella next spring. Hubs and I enjoyed lunch in the garden with the pups, there was the slightest breeze and it was absolutely beautiful.  

We definitely didn't expect the wind to surge to the point that it lifted the umbrella and removed it from the garden.  In fact it lifted it and left it high in a tree beside the garden. The sound was unreal and we were fairly positive a rail had been ripped off the deck or worse.  After getting the umbrella down and repairing the damage done to the garden itself, it's all good.  I'm thankful it's at the end of the season, for both the temperatures and the garden.  Definitely a shot of adrenaline though.  The pups were terrified, especially when we made them go inside while dealing with it. 

It was an abrupt shift to a lazy Sunday spent relaxing, watching a few shows and just being still.  It's been that kind of a weekend.  I assure you we rapidly slid back into the day, watching a movie.  Father Stu, is definitely a good one.  

I think some of our "laziness" has to do with the changing of the seasons.  The temps are cooler, for the most part the shorts are tucked away, long pants and sweatshirts have returned.  The nights are creeping in earlier and the sunshine is arriving a bit later.  I guess tomorrow I will start to shift from summer window coverings to allowing the sunshine to come into the sitting room.  I've been avoiding it, as it was depressing to not get to enjoy my favorite view. 

So much seems to be shifting in this crazy world of ours.  I'm thankful that all of the doomsday folks were wrong and things didn't go "kerplunk/kerpoey" to quote one of my favorite childhood shows.  I'm not saying that there isn't terrible things looming in the distance.  There very well might be. I was disheartened to see the fire at one of the largest fresh food markets in the world in Paris this morning.  There is more than enough going wrong in Europe and around the world right now with food insecurity for that to be a good thing.  I have to keep believing that good will triumph.  I have to. 

As I sit here relaxing, listening to Hubs watch yet another movie (if I have seen it once, I find I cannot watch it again) and watching Belle chasing moths and night bugs I am strangely at peace.  I have a cross that hangs in my hallway, it used to always hang in my offices, it says "I may not know what tomorrow holds, but I know who holds tomorrow".  It has always brought me peace and calmness. 

There is a storm moving up towards the gulf coast, looks like Florida will be the primary victim, I have friends and family that live there, I am praying that the storm doesn't develop into the hurricane that some forecasters are predicting, it's frightening.  I am deeply in prayer for them. I have lived in hurricane prone areas before, it is such a terrifying uncertainty.  Here in the mid-west we have our tornadoes and floods, I guess we also live on the New Madrid fault line, so I am guessing that no place is particularly safe, all we can do is place it in God's hands.

I've been lost in a lot of thought lately.  Pondering the things that are going on in the world, I long ago stopped thinking about it simply in terms of our country.  There is absolutely so much.  Sometimes it is simply easier to stop worrying and fretting and to simply go quiet.  I think that is where I am right now.  I'm sitting quietly, listening to my heart and acting when it feels right.  If it doesn't feel right, then I am staying still.  

finding a hag stone is a good omen

I feel like the entire world is simply holding it's breath.  Waiting to see if the next shoe drops and if it does is it a sigh of relief or and immense intake of a fear filled breath. 

I don't know what you are doing to stay balanced.  A lot of the world seems filled with untapped rage and anger.  I am spending a lot of time in nature, probably why the sun has set and I am sitting out in the garden.  Oh how I will more the loss of privacy when my beautiful garden needs put to bed for the winter, it is one of my favorite places. Thankfully, I have also found so many local parks that are secluded and private, where I can walk my babies and simply soak up the beauty that surrounds me. 

Hubs and I have often discussed the fact that I feel so much closer to God when I am in nature.  The calmness is indescribable. There is nothing that compares to walking your puppies "free range" down a mostly dried creek bed, watching the frolic in the shallow pools, chasing leaves and each other while walking with your favorite person. 

Whatever you need, please find the time for it.  Find the place that brings you peace and calm.  The world is crazy, we each need a place of refuge and respite.  

It's time for me to go to bed I think.  My eyes are blurry and I am very weary, my fingers are tired from knitting and my mind doesn't want to be connected to anything.... 

love and prayers...

knitting in the garden...

It's almost time to start filling the bird feeders.  I have missed having them flocking here every morning.  My garden has been thankful for their absence.  Around the time we pull the hummingbird feeders in we will start filling the regular feeders, that is about the time that their natural food sources get a bit scarce.

It's supposed to be pretty warm tomorrow, so I will start evaluating the rest of my garden.  I seriously hate this time of the year in the garden, it's so sad to see it all fading away.  Hubs has been trying to talk me into a greenhouse forever, this is truly the only time of the year that I seriously wish I had one.  I could be working on a winter garden right now.  

The reality is that as much as I hate putting it to bed for the winter it opens up time for me to pursue other things that I sort of stick on the shelves during the summer.  I will spend hours in front of the fire creating.  The cycle allows me to do all of the things I love. I need to get a new pot for my rosemary, I noticed the current one has a large crack down the side.  I've decided to try over wintering both the rosemary and the thyme, so it will have to be replaced before we bring it inside. We are still a good few weeks or even months away from overnight frost events, so I have a bit of time. 

I was down in the yard this morning, looking at the trees a bit further down the hill.  They are still in our yard to maintain, but outside of the fence line.  Once leaves fall we can go down and do some pruning. A few of them have gotten completely out of control and need a good trimming back, if not removal.  Should be loads of fun, she says with irony.  It's a fairly steep hill, I haven't tackled it since before my knee replacement.  I figure if I was able to handle it on that messed up knee I should have no worries handling it with my new super knee. 

I spent a good bit of time trying to track down a water leak yesterday after another huge water bill arrived.  I am fearful that it is completely related to the sprinkler system.  They damaged it when they installed the fence and even though we repaired the location we knew about, the fact that our water bill and usage keeps going up and we are physically using less water leads me to believe that is where the issue is.  Very frustrating.  I thought Hubs had physically shut off the water line to the sprinkler system, so did he.  It wasn't.  

Isn't that the way it always goes? Any repair or enhancement job leads to more jobs. Fingers crossed that the issue is resolved.  I don't want any more huge water bills, because those then increase the sewer bill. Anyone else feeling like everything is simply more and more expensive?  

Well... it's time to dig back into my knitting, I am enjoying making this sweater and feel like today is going to be another day spent enjoying the arrival of autumn.  The weather is perfect, I don't have anything too pressing on my calendar and I feel like just being.  Besides, it's finally Friday.

welcome back...

It's here!  And mother nature decided to behave for the occasion.  I'm sitting in the garden, or what is left of it, a bit chilled and happy as can be!  My favorite season has finally arrived.  The temperatures dropped a full 30° overnight.  So it is a delightful 62° in the garden this morning.  The leaves in several trees are starting to react to the cool night temperatures and there are random golds and a few reds starting to pop into the blanket of green. 

Perfection.  I brought the morning in sitting out here with my cup of hot German coffee and my knitting. Watching the faint sunrise through the cloud filled skies.  I love this time of the year, in my world this is the perfect kick-off.  Sweatshirts, hot coffee, and the promise of more beauty to come. 

Feeling pretty accomplished today, as I managed to complete all of the things on my to do list yesterday.  I was right, my house completely smelled of autumn.  The baking bread, the cinnamon and apples, the pickling spices for the peppers and onions all mixed together made me feel like I was stealing a day of summer to add to my favorite season. 

I gathered up all my fear and threw it out the window and made the cheese.  It's good. Different, but good.  It was quite delicious on our salads last night. I have a few things I might change up next time, or maybe I will just try a completely different cheese, some paneer or maybe a feta.  I also found a recipe for cream cheese, that is another possibility also.  I have quite a bit of whey in the fridge, so the possibility still remains to try making a ricotta... hmmm... homemade lasagna with fresh ricotta?  That is a definite possibility also.  Just not today. 

fresh milk

bubbles...

separating curds and whey

straining

draining... yep those are egg shells
drying in the background...

ready to cut...

amazing, especially with fresh veg
from the garden and fresh baked bread

I'm a touch too short for spending long hours in the kitchen chopping veggies and such, so needless to say, I usually end up with a tender back the next day.  Either my body is letting me know I am getting old, or it is giving me time to work on all the things that bring me joy.  

I spent some time yesterday learning about different herbs and their healing properties.  I've never been a big pharmaceutical fan, usually telling docs to save the effort and not prescribe them - knowing I won't take them anyhow, but the past few years have really driven home the importance of diet and natural healing methods. 

I was fascinated by some of the things I learned regarding holy basil and chicory of all things.  I am already a huge fan of mullein (to the point that I am going to be growing some), I am fairly positive that I need to add both of the others to my garden also. I feel that we have been drawn so far away from the things that will actually improve our health in the name of modern medicine.  Throughout the Bible there are references to all of our needs being provided for us.  No where that I could find does it claim we have to wait for scientists and chemists to create any of it for us.  I always tend to walk on the side of God made over man made.  It's a faith thing for me.  

As you might think, I either have far too much time on my hands, or not nearly enough.  The things I am learning and exploring keep me fascinated and pursuing more information in a state of almost wonder and amazement.  I fear that for too long humans have been pushed into boxes of want and need to keep us from exploring the world around us.  To prevent us from receiving all of the blessings that the Lord and our planet have naturally gifted us with.  

The simpler my life becomes the richer I find it to be.  Ironic, right? I find I am not so wasteful with my time, my resources or my mind.  I am always in search of new... well old ways... exploring the value and the reason for all of it.  

For example making cheese yesterday.  For the cost of the milk, I could have easily bought some cheese. I have to trust when I buy food at the grocery that it hasn't been modified or changed in any way.  I have to trust the ingredients and the company.  With the way our world has changed, I struggle giving that kind of trust easily.  The cheese that I made had 3 ingredients.  Fresh from the cow milk, vinegar and salt. God made ingredients versus man made chemicals.  

Today I will probably start making up some large batches of vegetable soups to can and save for the colder months.  I have random veggies left from the garden, not enough to put up on their own.  But as the cooler temperatures continue to become more consistent my garden will finish it's cycle and to not be wasteful, I will find a use for everything.  

Before the week is out, I will probably make several batches of pesto, given that I noticed this morning that my basil is starting to fade away.  It's also time to start drying some of my herbs, although I do believe I might bring the basil and thyme inside for the winter as they both will over winter just fine in the house. 

Again, simpler.  I believe I will use my oregano to make some oregano oil.  It is another one of the herbs that I am learning so much about.  I always thought it was simply a seasoning for Mediterranean dishes.  Never realizing its incredible healing properties.  

I will also use the herbs in my garden to make some fire cider - look it up... amazing.  And I will be fermenting some garlic in a beautiful raw honey.  All of these things will help us be healthy all through the cold months ahead.  Without relying on any of those fussy hard to pronounce chemicals. 

Maybe I am becoming a bit of a rebel, or my hippie soul (Hubs is convinced about this) is rearing it's head.  No idea.  But I find peace and comfort in the path I am walking now.  Something I never felt walking in the "real" world.  

Well, the sun is starting to peek through the fluffy gray and white blanket of clouds drifting over head and my fingers want to get a few more rows on my sweater before I start my daily chores.  Time to dash... 

love and prayers... and happy Fall ya'll! 

farewell to summer...

I can't believe that tomorrow it is supposed to be the same temperature it is right now as the high, we've had two days of high 90's, it always feels so sticky when the second summer decides to pop back in during the transition into autumn. It's also super hard to believe that today is officially the last day of summer.  Time is definitely flying past us, it barely seems like summer just started and the dreaded heat and humidity was moving in.  Here it is the ending of September, the beginning of Mabon, the start of autumn and the cooler temperatures.  Summer simply wasn't that bad.  Of course there were a few super warm days, there always are.  

We had rain, not as much as our rivers would have liked, but it was there. Ironically, as I typed that I suddenly realized that we say pretty much the same thing every year.  Each year as the season comes to a close and we are debating on a final float trip we question whether the water will be high enough for a decent float or if we will be having to carry the raft over a lot of sand bars.  This is nothing new.  The whole point of climate is that it changes with the seasons.  Always has, always will.  It doesn't matter what propaganda is being spewed about it.  That seriously does not change facts. 

The pups are enjoying the coolness of the morning, both of them are over their anxiety about the backyard, I'm not sure mom is.  If they get quiet I go looking for them. But it's a normal morning and they are running, wrestling and playing, up and down the stairs, around the table and everything in between.  I hope they enjoy it, because a few hours from now it is going to be steamy and hot, neither of them absolutely love that, so they will definitely come inside and be lazy during that part of the day. 

I'm sitting here trying to decide what to tackle first.  I completely blew off most of my plans for yesterday.  The exhaustion was simply too much.  I can't say I wasted the day though, because I did manage to put about 5 inches on the sweater that I am working on.  As Hubs put it sometimes you need those kind of days.  He's not wrong. I finally found a use for that beautiful blue yarn that I hated so much in the other sweater pattern.  I haven't frogged that one yet, but it will definitely happen. I will still make that sweater, I will just choose a different, solid yarn for it. 

I am now loving this yarn and the pattern...
top down casual sweater

Today will come together differently. It needs to or I waste my harvest and I don't want to do that, there is so much hard work, time and attention wrapped up in it, that I am not willing to waste anything. 

the very last of the
Tom Thumb tomatoes

Anaheim peppers waiting to be roasted

the terra cotta tomatoes are beautiful

I've also officially decided today is going to be a cheese making day. I'd love to say I'm willing to tackle a cheddar or a blue cheese, but I am simply not that brave yet.  Nope, not at all.  Today, I am going to make a simple farmers cheese and I might try my hand at a ricotta.  Not sure on that ricotta.  The whey can be stored in the fridge for around 6 months, so it definitely isn't something I feel deeply inclined to tackle today. Especially as there is so much other stuff to get put up.  We'll see how it goes.  I chose the farmers cheese because it doesn't need to age, it is ready day one.  I feel strongly that I need some immediate gratification in my life.  Gotta over come the fear and insecurity somehow.  Might even need to make up a batch of crackers and Hubs and I can do cheese, crackers and wine this evening to celebrate the incoming season?

I also have the rest of the apples to process, Nothing quite so wonderful as fresh apples when they come into season.  Hubs is over the moon with the applesauce, so I am pretty sure that is what the last batch will become.  Something tells me our home is going to radiate the warm smells of autumn a day early.  

I guess I am ready for the seasons to shift.  I thrive in cold weather, but I am sure as winter will linger far too long and I will be antsy for spring, I will start to rush it along also.  I think it is human nature. 

soon I will harvest next years 
carrot seeds

It sounds like the neighborhood is waking up, the sounds are starting to distract me, make me lose my focus.  Or maybe it is all the things lingering on my to do list that are drawing my attention away from writing, whatever it is, it's time to get busy.  

Time to carry up the Amish milk and apples from the fridge downstairs, put a ponytail in the hair and get ready to explore a new way of being more self-sufficient.  I'll have to let you know tomorrow how it turns out....

love and prayers...

oh my Belle...

What an incredibly short night.  I'm struggling this morning, my eyes are heavy and my motivation is completely lacking.  I was so tired all day yesterday and looking forward to curling up in bed as the sun started sinking into the horizon.  

I should have guessed the puppies were up to something, when the smell of dinner cooking didn't have them under my feet.  I'd looked outside and the motion lights were not on, so I mistakenly assumed they were upstairs in bed already.  They had already had their dinner, maybe they were just tired, and they are both semi-afraid of being outside in the dark although they are becoming braver. 

Just as I am putting away the dishes from dinner, I hear a bark.  Just one.  It's dark and I'm sure the neighbors aren't going to appreciate it, so I go outside to correct Belle, it was her bark. Instead of them barking at the fence I see them down by the shed in the dark and her very posture tells me she has something cornered.  That and the fact that my big strong marshmallow of a guy is cautiously bouncing back and forth trying to find his courage. 

I called them in... nope, wasn't happening.  Trying to see in the dark wasn't working and I really didn't want to take my eyes off them to go and get a flashlight and to manually trigger the motion lights.  I finally did anyhow, as my distracting them had gotten them to move away. 

nothing is slowing this girl down

Didn't see anything, finally coaxed them inside and shut the door.  No more outside time for them last night.  And they both desperately wanted back out.  It wasn't until Belle lifted her head from the water bowl that I realized I might have an issue.  There on her nose, spaced less than half an inch apart were two beads of blood.  Cleaning it up I realized it was far more clear than blood, but the little terror had found herself a snake. 

I have never in my life dealt with a snake bite, the only thing fairly comforting to me was the fact that I have never seen a venomous one near our home, at all.  Mostly your typical black, brown or garden varieties.  We have on occasion been terrified by a fairly large black rat snake, it's the one that climbed our siding to eat the baby bird over the light. So I could sort of take a breath. 

Until I asked Hubs what to do, honestly there are many times I assume that he has encountered everything and would have a ready answer.  I was not prepared for the "I have no idea what to do, better google it".  What?! That was not the answer I needed at that moment.  Especially as she immediately threw up her water and was standing there looking at me like what is going on?

trying to get the ball, hours before 
the snake incident

A quick call to the emergency vet calmed and terrified me all in one moment.  First she says she wouldn't worry, what to watch for and when to call them back.  That if it was going to be a problem I should know within 30 minutes to an hour.  Assuring me that dogs react differently to snake bites than humans do and then "if she has a reaction you will need to bring her in, you should have time they don't pass away immediately".... WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!

Keep her calm and watch her.  Again... what???  Of course it is the hyper puppy, not the laid back chill puppy.  I could barely keep her from playing, even after major abdominal surgery. But okay... 

see mom I've got my ball...
I'm fine.... geez

As the minutes ticked slowly by, my stress was heading downward, she was acting just like her normal self and the only visible sign was a slight bump on the side that had bled the most.  Her gums stayed their normal bright pink, she acted just like herself and best of all no swelling. 

I know, I probably didn't need to worry.  But I am that person, so worry I did.  My dear friend talked on the phone with me for a few more hours while I cautiously watched her, checking on her, disrupting her rest, trying to convince myself that what I knew in my heart was true, she would be just fine.  Ugghhh that is hard to do, heck, I still worry non-stop about my very grown children.  Even though I know they are out there living their best lives.

no fear...

can't stop moving...

After about 4 hours of that nonsense my body took complete control, told my brain to shut up and forced me to go to sleep.  Luckily she decided last night was a good night to need to sleep by mom's head, Dad had given up on all of my shenanigans and gone to sleep in the guest bedroom (don't blame him at all). Every movement brought my eyes open and my hand to rest against her chest, assuring myself that she was okay. 

Somewhere around 3 am I finally must have fallen asleep, only to be awakened around 3:30 am by a happy bouncing Belle bringing me her toy and letting me know it was time to wake up and love on her, our usual routine.  For a small dog she is powerful and jumping on mom is a favorite thing.  They both decided that mom could sleep a bit longer, but after a restless night even 7 am was not a refuge. 

She's fine.  She ate a big breakfast, Hubs let them do their usual front yard potty break in the wee hours of the morning (he's the reason they wake up at unholy hours of the night - he does too), she's played and been her usual self.  The only thing unusual was that I actually got her to lie down in my lap and accept loving for 10 whole minutes without jumping down a dozen times.  Couldn't get a picture of that miracle, was far too busy enjoying the wonder of it. 

Neither Belle nor Beau are willing to leave the deck this morning, looking longingly at the toys that they've dropped down the stairs.  I guess I will need to take them both down and encourage them to explore again.  

I'm thankful she is okay.  I'm concerned that a snake was dumb enough to hang out in my yard, my babies are always running around out there, maybe it was just passing through.  Hubs assures me that she will never try to catch another snake, I have my doubts.  She is the most bull headed puppy I've ever known.  She and Beau almost had a box turtle this weekend, he was willing to walk away much sooner than she was.  She's tried to catch several toads now, including a huge one on Saturday.  For being a super smart puppy, I think she allows her brain to go on vacation when she sees prey.  Moths, butterflies, bees, squirrels, toads, turtles and now snakes... oh my....

chasing butterflies...

It's gonna be a rough day.  I am so very weary.  So are they.  Thankfully... my little sweet girl is okay, I would be crushed to lose either of them young. I want them to live their full lives and only then will I be able to emotionally deal with their losses.  I know this about myself.... 

love and prayers...