b'longa'b

Good Morning Tuesday!

It's a dreary, cloudy, icky day outside.  Would be perfect for a fire and my coffee and I sit around this morning enjoying my "me" time before I head off to work.  The Hubs even has it ready for me.

One match...

Not happening today.


I am busy cooking up some Sweet and Sour Spareribs for a lunch time celebration!

Today is one of the "B's" birthday!!  I will gladly give up down time to celebrate her always!

This one is my special "B"... She's more than any words that could ever describe her.  I personally feel about her like I feel about the Hubs.  There are people in this life that we are meant to encounter, that make us whole.  She is one of those people for me.

She's been a part of my world far longer than I can remember, even though it hasn't been many years.  I remember the day I met her, clear as a picture on the wall.  I remember falling in love with this amazing soul instantly.  I cannot remember how many…

Ever have one of those days where you simply can't win?

I seem to be stuck in one of those today.  And the amount of sadness it causes me is unreal.

I don't pretend to be perfect, Lord knows that would cause a lightening bolt or two in my direction.

And I certainly don't always make the right decisions or say all the right things in the heat of a moment. In fact chances are far more likely that I will blow it. I often let my emotions run hog wild with my brain.  I try not to, I truly do, but well... that's just who I am.

And inevitably I end up somewhere in the middle of an emotional mess.   And the part of me that wants everything right, peachy and wonderful.  Well it simply doesn't do well with that.

I never intentionally hurt anyone.  I would never say anything that could cause someone pain.  Because I never want someone to do that to me.

Today started so awesome.  A good night's sleep, the sparkle in Hub's blue eyes, and laughter.  I was sure looking…

So... last night blog post simply disappeared.  I had been too tired to post it last night, falling asleep while writing.  I had saved it to go back this morning, and then a glitch or something happened and even the saved file simply disappeared.


I wonder if that is the universes way of saying... rethink this...


I have shared that 2016 is all about change and taking charge of my life.  And I am making some incredible steps in that direction.

Someone that I spend a great deal of time with always encourages everyone to empty out our backpacks and re-evaluate if what is in there is something we want to carry with us or just dead weight.  I am not always a big fan of doing things like that.

I won't say it's arrogance, the last thing I would ever think is that I am not carrying around garbage that my life would be better without.  I realize there is a ton of crap in there... it's human nature.

It is more truthful to say that I don't want to face the things that I shoved wa…

I should be sleeping.

I have to be up in just 6 short hours.

But... it's been a day and as I am sitting here enjoying watching these large, fluffy, snow flakes that have started to fall... I am having a hard time deciding to head to bed.

I worked this morning for one of my staff that is out ill, so I headed east in the early morning hours to open the building by 5 am.  As I was making the coffee and conversing with our long time members I was reminded of the joy I feel with this mixed group of people.

I enjoy their stories, the conversations are always had in big bold strokes.  Some of them have been members of my Y for over a generation.  We've been around 90 years now, we have the time to savor their stories.  I spent almost 6 months working that shift when I was searching for the right employee to pass the baton to.  I found him.  But in the process I had to give up something that was enjoyable.

I gave up the time with the morning gang. Coffee drinking, story telling, som…

Organizational skills for the chronically disorganized.

That should be an internet class with a lifetime support system.  Because I have to tell you this organization and structure that I am trying to add to my life, well it is incredibly hard work!

I watch my daughter, she is the queen of organizational skills!  And if you could have seen her room as a kid, you would never believe it's the same person.  Sometimes I swear invasion of the body snatchers has happened.  

As a kid finding a pair of socks, or sometimes simply her in her room was a challenge at best, yet now, open her cupboards and everything is organized, easy to find and orderly. Mine?  Try as I might, I spend a great deal of time looking for a can of black beans. I will admit to finding some mason jars and my label maker so that my bulk ingredients aren't stacked up in bags in the cupboard - Yes!  Success!

Before this year is up, I want to be "that" person, at least to a degree.  I'm not going to …

As I sat in Hubs recliner last night, listening the rhythmic sound of my knitting needles gliding through the soft blue yarn, I wrote my blog in my head for about the twentieth time yesterday.  I knew I wasn't going to actually write, sometimes there is simply too much to manage to get it out of my head.  But with each rhythmic tap (they would have clicked if I were using metal, but I'm using my favorite wooden ones), my mind in the background going knit, purl, knit, purl, I could hear the words I wanted to write, but seemed incapable of.

Yesterday was my baby boy's 25th birthday.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  The call to my best friend telling her to head in, she was my coach, she lived 45 minutes in the opposite direction.  The decision to shower and get cleaned up before heading to the hospital 40 minutes away. We would end up meeting in the middle.  We had to go through crazy security, Operation Desert Storm would be starting in roughly 24 hours.  At one poin…

Day two of doctor imposed exile.

Maybe it's the beautiful sunrise.

Maybe it's the crackling fire Hubs built before leaving.

Or maybe my temper tantrum is over.

At any rate I feel like a human being again.  No wine, cheese or olives were required to bring me back to center.  In fact I can't even credit a good night's sleep, thanks to the moron that felt the need to call the house at 9:48 pm.

I am fairly positive that most adults over say 30 were raised that you simply didn't call a non-family, non-best friend, non-close personal friend after 8 pm unless it were life or death or something of great importance. I can assure you that unless the message I had left for anyone involved the words call me any time day or night, I will not be pleasant if you call me at 9:48 PM.

That is not to say if my children, grand children, family members, friends or people that I am close to called me any time of the day or night I would not stop everything, wake out of a deep sleep or …

Stupid knee.

Started aching last week again.  So much for feeling confident that it was behind me.

Yesterday it decided to do that balloon act. Swelling from the knee all the way to the toes. So uncharacteristically I went to the docs.  I am not a fan, I was/am terribly busy, and frankly I felt like no good could ever come of it.

Well, as I have been sitting her looking at my toes all day.  Following directions (I know, be shocked, we all know I don't listen to doctors - much less follow directions) leg elevated above my heart, did all the tests - gotta admit the one tech concerned me a bit, I am simply waiting for results.

The doc doesn't want me on it at all, I even suggested crutches, she suggested - NO.  She nicely informed me the amount of swelling in my leg was a pretty good indicator that I was pushing it well past it's limits. It was FINE last week, I was even bragging to the hubs that it was looking so good, hadn't swollen at all in months, almost no pain, ab…

It's been a whirlwind 24 hours.  Just one day ago it was chaos, rushing to walk the boys before the snow that was supposed to fall, cleaning up the car in hopes of selling her, and so much on my to do list, I felt like I was stealing the minutes I took to write.

Fast forward 24 hours... I am sitting here listening to what is probably one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.  It's heart wrenching and a blessing all in one. When I'm Gone.  Recorded a few years ago, video done long before the song became the story of their life.  When I read Rory's words yesterday tears rolled done my face, I understood.  God was taking care of them long before it was needed, knowing he will need this song and the ability to replay it for years to come.

My coffee is steamy and the sun is cresting over the city bright and promising.  Not sure what it is promising though.  As it is bitterly cold.  Hard to believe it was 50 on Friday.  It's a sultry 6 degrees out here in the…

Hubsters and I have been busy this morning!  Thought I would slow down for a minute and drink my smoothie and maybe type a bit.

Last weekend we were both fighting the crud, weather forecast said sunny, dry and near 50 today, so no worries we will take it down on the following Saturday.  No worries, no stress, perfect plan. Maybe it is time to remind myself that we live in the mid-west, and a weather forecast of only a day is a crap shoot.

Before day break we were rushing to take the boys for their walk - before they got soaked with some seriously cold rain - yep, we were not successful.  And the Gator does not like his old bones to be cold or wet.

Then rushing around to take down the outside decorations before the possible 2 - 4 inches of snow hits us after noon when the temps decide to drop dramatically. I did not want to be trying to take it all down in that kind of mess.

Soaking wet, freezing cold, and fingers slowly thawing out, the front of the house doesn't look like the h…

Coffee, check

Puffs, check

Throat lozenges... check...

So... it might appear that the reason I was so sluggish yesterday had more to do with the fact that I might be trying to get a cold, than with me being overwhelmed.

I can base this assumption on two pretty easy to recognize facts.

The first - I feel just plain gross! Watery, burning eyes, stuffy nose, sore throat - lets hope its really just a minor bout with allergies shall we?

The second - yesterday was incredibly productive!  At least until I started feeling like a truck ran me over.

I was all set to get ready for church with Hubs this morning when he pointed out my fellow parishioners might not appreciate the new year gift of a cold as he drew a steamy tub with eucalyptus and menthol in it. So diced up oranges, a big glass of tomato juice (okay so it was really a bloody mary, why suffer needlessly?) and a long soak in the tub and I finally feel semi- human.   Eyes are still blurry and energy level is a tad non-existent.

Tal…

Those of you that know me well, know that I am a bit "odd" (yep I'm really okay with that terminology). I have very diverse hobby's and find joy in sometimes very odd things.

Today, there is a battle going on.

My inner alchemist is screaming for release.  I bought all the supplies to make some soaps, my own deodorant, bath soak and I have yet to complete the sunscreen (it's been on the drawing board for almost two years now). The counter is cleared and I have finally found all the supplies and materials.  It's peaceful and I have the time.

My inner seamstress is dying to set her fingers to several projects.  One will resurrect the past for someone, the other will bring precious memories alive forever to another.  All the supplies are there, and I have time.

I have two different pairs of wristers partially completed, a sweater that has been waiting for two winters now, and some beautiful sock yarn that is beckoning me every time I sit down, peeking softly, te…