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Showing posts from February, 2014

They've got it!

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Why does 4:00 am even have to be a time on my clock?  I am fairly positive that when my work day ends at 8:00 pm I am not going to be loving this.  It seems that every time I have to close I end up awake crazy early.  I think my internal clock might need reset.

I am fairly certain that I am not a helicopter mom after all.  Oh I might worry obsessively, and I might "need" for my kids to either call or text me on a regular basis to feel okay with the world.  Last night, sitting in a meeting for the youngest of the twins (called by their mother) I realized that I am actually a fairly hands off mom. 

The girls are 18, the oldest of the two often goes on trips to other states with her friends, skiing, sight seeing, simply doing whatever she wants. No one ever invites us to a meeting about this, or really lets us know until we see it on Facebook for that matter.  The youngest, not so much.  Her first true foray into adulthood is a trip that she and originally three of her closest…

Loving the layers of life!

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Layer after layer, I could feel the stress sliding away.  The weekend didn't really go the way I planned, but isn't that what they say about the best laid plans?

It was a beautiful day yesterday, high 50's into the 60's after the brutal cold of late, it was far more than welcomed.  We had decided to spend the day out in the sunshine, cruising around, taking advantage of the rare welcome treat.  Such a great gift.  Wind on our faces, sunshine in our eyes, the breeze gentle inviting us to whisk away our stress to the sounds of our Harley.

We started the day running a quick errand, then off to the funeral service for a dear friend of Hubby's mother-in-law.  It was beautiful and everything I do not want when it's my time.  I want a celebration of my life, I want laughter, and beauty.  And I certainly do not want to be laid out looking nothing like myself because my essence will no longer be there.  Jeannie C Riley has a song... "Sing Me No Sad Songs"... …

Times they are a changing....

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Was that the chirp of a spring song bird?  I am sitting here waking up and sipping my coffee, and I believe I just heard the soft chirp of a bird.  It's been so long...

This winter has been brutal.  Over the top, exhausting and simply unpleasant.  The past few days has seen the snow finally melt, the temperatures rise and the tense attitudes of  many (myself included) begin to thaw.
I know that I've been absent, I've had some soul searching I had to do.  I feel that I am truly in a transition stage that has required some in depth attention.  The kind that occurs in the depths of the heart and soul and is not for public consumption.  I feel as if this deeply frozen winter has been helping guide me through some very basic changes and transformations.  Maybe I have been hibernating?

Work has been filled with challenges.  Big ones, things that were out of everyone's control, and they are on-going.  Surviving the destruction and being positive and upbeat for others when you…

picking up pieces and sorting it out...

I will always have your back, I am loyal to a fault. If I have given you my word, If I have promised you my loyalty, if you are my friend, family, love or even someone who's position in my life assures them my respect, for the position if not the person.  You have all I have to give.

I might not agree with you, I might not want to do what is asked of me. But I will always give you everything I have to give.

All I have ever asked from anyone in return is to be treated fairly and with kindness.  I have always only wanted to be treated with respect.

I don't ask for favors, I don't give less than is expected of me. Oh it might take me a few moments to catch up, maybe I can't be super woman and work miracles.  But I won't stop until I have met the goals put before me.

I don't demand nor appreciate being singled out in a group for praise or recognition.  That isn't my style.  I prefer a soft, genuine thank you when I go above and beyond, or when I have accomplish…

The Blessings in the shadows...

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It's amazing what 12 hours, team effort, phone calls, and love and support from family and friends can make to your world.  This morning I was ready to throw in the towel, my white flag of surrender was being hoisted up the flag pole.  Tonight, I feel energized and in better control.  I am exhausted, but I feel empowered.

Hubby and I teamed up to tackle the house, it feels like home again.  Christmas is completely put away... well not completely.  I could not bring myself to take down the Snowy village yet.  It matches outside and makes my boy feel closer.

I got to talk to my son, text messaged with my daughter, instant messaged with family and friends near and far.  Today I got my cup filled.  The "me world" feels more balanced.  The work world is not really something controllable.  I wish it were, but that is not the nature of working in the non-profit world. My family and friends reminded me that I am loved and supported, that many of them have walked in my shoes or …

dreams... drifting away...

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Woke up this morning to more snow... I can officially say, I am no longer a fan of snow.  Sure it's pretty, but it is causing more issues than it's beauty is worth.  Sure the big fluffy flakes drifting down were absolutely beautiful.  Watching my poor pups trying to navigate it so they could go potty not.  My old guy scared me to bits yesterday when his little legs got so cold that he could not make it back up the three stairs to me as his feet were too cold.  And that was in just three minutes.  I am officially ready for spring!

It's a good thing I have no where to be this weekend.  That my plans all revolve around my home.  Around the chores that I haven't had time to do, and a bit of knitting and crochet.  I also need to find my Bible.  I misplaced it somewhere, and it's driving me crazy.  I've uploaded one on my Nook, and I have several others, but that is the one that I like.  Hubby bought it for me years ago, I got to pick it based on me.  I miss it.

Lat…

bringing back Rockwell...

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I am still marveling at the Rockwellian experience from last night. Wishing that my driveway had been paved and not rock.  Amazed that for the first time in 11 years of living here that I encountered good old fashioned work ethic.  Something I respect more than anything else.

It snowed again yesterday, seems to be a common theme this winter.  I used to long for home, for Erie and its snowy winters.  I'm pretty much over that! In fact way over that!  Actually, I am starting to understand the value of moving south. 

Regardless of that, a young man, probably middle to late twenties, showed up on my doorstep yesterday evening.  He didn't look particularly warm and was wearing several bags on his feet in place of boots.  He was tall and thin, wearing a too thin jacket and those thin gloves you buy for a dollar at most stores.  He had a snow shovel in one hand and was offering to shovel my drive for $15 dollars. 

I wish I had been forward thinking.  I wish that I had come up with a…

Hidden in Plain Sight...

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A restful weekend at home.  That's what I needed.  It's what I took.  January caused me to break a lot of rules that I have for myself.  The adventures it brought with it, pushed boundaries that I knew better than to cross.  I am paying for it now.

I was lucky enough to get Lyme disease almost 18 years ago. I won't say it was the greatest experience in the world, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.  But 18 years is a long time and I have learned how to control the remnants of issues left by it without taking medication (yuck!) and for the most part functioning normally.

I have learned the boundaries that I need to respect, and how to control nasty flares over those years.  Generally, I am a bit stringent on what I will and won't do. Last month, I threw caution aside and proceeded without fear or remembrance of what would be waiting. 

As always, I remember now.  Stupidity knows no boundaries.  I left property management because I simply couldn't physica…

Rebooting...

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Happy February!  Your arrival on such a soggy note is very welcome.  Your predecessor was less than kind to too many people.  I was so concerned about the weather forecast when I went to bed last night.  There was a forecast of ice and snow.  I didn't want to wake up to more snow.  The country has been through such a strange weather pattern this year.  It happens.  Weather moves in cycles, it's just that time, but I personally am tired of snow.

Frankly I am tired of a lot this year.  I knew yesterday was going to be a crazy one, when a man with a towel on his head literally walked in front of us on the highway on the way to work yesterday.  Just strolled across.  He wasn't in a hurry, he wasn't about to walk a bit faster, he simply wasn't about to do anything normal. 

Luckily, it wasn't a normal day, and for a change we weren't in the thick of traffic, because on a normal day there would have been no slowing down to almost a full stop from sixty miles an h…