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Showing posts from September, 2013

Amazing Autumn Days...

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Monday morning sure found a way to creep in fast... It was a great weekend, with lots of quality time with hubby.  Hard to face today... I was gone for most of last week so I know that there will be a small mountain of  "to do" work on my desk. I am not looking forward to that.  It just seems a shame for such an amazing weekend to be over.

Last night as I went to bed, I was greeted by my sweet little old guy all curled up on Momma's side of the bed using my shirt for a pillow and covered in the quilt.  The look on his sweet little face pretty much summed up the weekend for me.  It looked like he was saying it can't be over yet.

The hubby and I went to StrangeFolk again yesterday.... The sunshine and soft breeze were beckoning us  to spend the day outside.  Soaking up the atmosphere, music and enjoying the people.  The fall leaves were changing all around us as we sat at the park bench enjoying the yummy Greek food, hubby managing to become good friends with everyon…

Celebrating the Free Spirit!

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It's a beautiful autumn morning, the air is cool, it is damp from the over night rain that we needed so badly and it's peaceful.  My coffee is hot and it's so quiet I can hear the clock ticking and my favorite cat sitting at my shoulder purring.

These are my kind of mornings.  Where a whole day of "gotta do" is spread out before you, but you can steal those quiet minutes and reflect and refocus before it starts. If everything wasn't wet from the rain I would have sweet talked the hubby into making us a small fire to start the day.  Sadly, it's all wet!  Besides he is down in his man cave catching up on his man-soap, seriously unwinding... he needs that.

It's that kind of weekend.  You know the kind, where you unwind and get rid of stress.  At least bad stress.  I've been mostly sitting and stitching, feeling wholly unprepared for two weeks from now.  I have been thinking about how I let things taint my point of view and change my focus.

Wandering…

The ever changing journey...

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Let me state emphatically for the record, I am not a party person.  I am not going to ever seek out large groups of drunk people.  It simply isn't me or my style.  I didn't do it in my 20's and I am not going to do it in my late 40's... or one would think.

Last night I am pretty sure some kind of ritual/party ended up happening in my cabin. There we were enjoying the peace and quiet.  A few of my co-workers and I were sitting around quietly, unwinding, letting the strain of two intense days wash over us.  The first day had been deeply intense and had strained us all.  We were emotionally worn from it.  None of us had fully processed our feelings from day one when the second day, a complete polar opposite from the first left us feeling more torn, confused, convicted and simply emotionally drained.

The Skyline dip was heating in the microwave, the chips were waiting, the four of us had just toasted with our icy cold beers.  We were ready to relax, decompress, and unwind…

Reflections of a day lost...

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I'm waiting to see the sunrise over the lake... From my balcony I can see the most spectacular view! I love being tucked out in the country and having the beauty and peace all around me.  Last night we sat out on the deck drinking a few beers and laughing together as friends.  The stars were so bright that it looked like we had simply been dropped right in the middle of the milky way. Unlike in the city where you can only see select stars and the moon.  Out here on the lake the sky is deep, rich and velvety and the stars are so numerous that it appears they run together. Creating lines of light in the fabric of the sky.

The good Lord must have known I was going to need space yesterday to deal with the day.  For the first time in over 10 years I found myself completely alone last night.  No hubby, no room mates, and no pets.  It was odd to say the least.  I am used to sharing my world with many others.  Complete silence, no phone, no television, no radio... that is just odd for m…

On the road again...

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I haven't even packed yet and I am already missing HOME!!  Home is where I am most centered and function the best.  I need time with my family, my pets, my stuff... so even though I am going to be in a beautiful setting surrounded by people that I enjoy spending quality time with, I am going to miss home.

I will try to find a moment or two to write while I am gone, but internet is kinda sketchy and time looks like it will be really limited.  We have a pretty full agenda, lots of activities and sessions.  I am trying to decide what sessions I feel the strongest about.  I know there are several that I have done in the past, so I will probably skip those. There are a few new presenters so maybe I will take theirs and see what their spin is on the subject... decisions, decisions and I haven't even had a full cup of coffee yet.


On the plus side, during the "down" time there is so much to do down at Trout Lodge.  Hopefully the leaves will have started to change and the su…

Chasin' those dark clouds away...

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Today absolutely, positively did not start out great!  I don't do high pressure well, I don't like to feel rushed and out of time.  I cannot stand to feel like things are out of my control... when I have a stack of work that I am not getting completed and feel like things are rapidly spiraling down the rabbit hole, my mood gets darker... much darker...

Its early... hard up against serious deadlines... blacker and blacker.... By lunch time... stress level was so high I was fairly sure that I had lost my smile...

My dear Betty was trying desperately to bring me back to center.  Poor dear was a bit under the weather and more worried if I was going to have a melt down. 

Typing through lunch, calculations raining down on me, numbers, more numbers... interruptions, quests for help, more and more stress... feeling that spiral closing in...

Tick, tick, tick... will I ever get it done? My brain was swimming, sick of numbers, needing to be done...

Suddenly, it's three, it's done…

Family... it centers me!

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Good Morning Autumn... I knew you weren't teasing, that you had finally come to stay!  I slept so sound, I love to be chilled and snuggled up in quilts and blankets all night long (it reminds me of nights spent with Grammie and Papa long ago)!  It really sets the tone for another wonderful day!

Yesterday was so much fun for me.  Oh, I didn't do anything special at all.  At least not to some.  To me... it was amazing!

Yesterday, I curled up in my big comfy chair and worked on hats.  That is about all I physically did. Minions and zombies surrounding me.  It was the stuff that happened around me that was awesome!  My son came out and spent hours with me.  We simply talked about everything and nothing at all.  As my needle wove in and out of the fabric I was creating we talked about the changing season, world, job searches, college, jokes, talked about quirks and things that bothered us.  We talked about things we want to do and things we want to avoid.  It's been a long tim…

A time for everything....

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Autumn is nipping the air, it's crisp and sharp.  It arrived this morning in grand fashion! There is change in the air.  The world is undergoing a powerful transformation.  The nights are getting longer, dinner is barely over when the sun has decided to tuck itself in for the night.  The sun is taking a bit longer to wake each morning. This is my favorite time of year. 

Maybe I don't think right... who knows, if you are reading this and have even the slightest thought that I do, then you are probably just as off as I am.  I love Autumn. It is by far my favorite of the seasons.  Summer is brutally hot, I don't do well with heat and humidity.  Winter, while it has beautiful moments that I love, is a bully that doesn't know when it's time to go away.  Spring is a close second, if it weren't so fragile and brief.  It expends all it's energy to push winter away and is left frail and fleeting. 

But Autumn is so wondrous.  It slowly escorts summer out, like a gen…

Be it ever so humble...

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There is no place like home!!  Curled up in my over stuffed chair after a nice hot shower (that had enough pressure to actually rinse my hair) with a cup of hot coffee and my fur babies all over the living room.  I am so glad to be home. 

Oh it isn't perfect.  It could be cleaner and more organized.  But it is comfortable! It is safe and it is cozy.  I feel like things are right surrounded by my family (two and four legged)... I feel completely in balance.

I had a great time with my peers at the training in Springfield.  I met some new folks, some of whom I am sure I will keep in touch with.  I wasn't able to get an internet signal, even though they claimed there was one.  I didn't get a chance to write my blog, it made me feel out of sync.  This has become a normal part of starting my day and when I don't have that time... well I just feel like I have forgotten something, it feels incomplete.

Springfield was quite a unique experience for me.  I really enjoyed it ther…

Heading out...

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Only have a few minutes this morning.  It's crazy today... I have already put the laundry in the dryer and I am getting ready to pack. 

I was one of four selected to go to a training in Springfield Missouri.  I will be gone until Friday.  I am not really sure how I feel about it.  It has caused me to have to change up a lot of things and switch around my quilting class.  I also do not like to be away from home. That is just me...

I am going to put a positive spin on it, I am basically an optimist looking for a silver lining.  It's how I do things.

I am not driving, that in and of itself is a bonus.  I don't like to drive for one thing and it gives me almost four hours each way to work on beanies.  I am not a fan of meeting new people, it simply isn't my thing.  Probably has a lot to do with being a military brat.  That part will be a challenge. I get to room with one of the sweetest young women, that is another positive. 

I guess I am ambiguous.  I am hopeful for the…

Faith, Family, Friends...

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We went to the home-going celebration for Mary yesterday.  It was spectacular! I was concerned and very apprehensive about going. I did not attend a wake or funeral until I was in my thirties when my dear Grammie got to go home.  It was traumatic and stressful.  Since then Hubby has insured that I have been to many.  I still have a very hard time with it. 

Mary's son, truly honored the essence of Mary.  There was no casket, no body (thank you Aunt Judy for saying those words to me at Grammie's funeral - that isn't her, she isn't there, that is simply the body... it helped greatly!).  There was a display of things that meant a great deal to her, things that she had saved because of the value to her, a dress from when she taught that had figures drawn on it, a scrap book of school pictures given to her by her students with the school, year and their names written carefully by each of them.  A collection of pens from her father, memorabilia from her son's wedding.  A…

Stitching + Thinking = Dangerous...

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It's been an interesting 24 hours.  I have been crocheting until my fingers are numb, trying to calm my stress about this craft fair I decided to do.  I have only done one before and it was a complete disaster, so my nerve factor is a bit high.  Imagine that...

I didn't even join hubby and our friends on our monthly trip to the rummage sale that benefits the food pantry in the neighboring town.  I just kept working.  I hadn't mentioned anything to hubby, nothing to look for or find.  I just told him to have fun.  He never ceases to amaze me, because I was thinking if you find any yarn...but I didn't say it, yet he came home with a great surprise!  Evidently, he was standing there just as they brought out a box of yarns.  So of course he was quick to snatch them up for me.  Now the awesome thing about this rummage sale is whatever you can fit in a bag is only $3, all of this fit in one bag!  And it was full of wonderful treasures!  I am on my fourth hat from the bag.  A…

What's fate got to do with it?

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Do you ever feel like something is conspiring to take control of your life?  To put you in check?  To help you do what you should be doing, not what you want to be doing?
I feel that way right now.  Yesterday morning we were cruising through "the hood" on our sweet little Harley.  Enjoying the crisp air and day dreaming of all the riding we could enjoy this weekend.  The first true fall weather weekend we've had.  Ah... sweet day dreams!  Hubby wrapped in his leather, telling me that I needed to get some leathers as soon as possible so I would enjoy the ride a bit more on those chilly mornings.  We were distracted by pleasure.

In the back of my mind was the niggling thought that I had committed to a craft fair that was rapidly approaching!  Less than a month away.  Panic is starting to set in... but ah the freedom, the fun, the pleasure...

Our windshield had come in and we were getting it installed today, that was the plan, before dashing off for a quick (okay who are w…

"woo hoo! what a ride!!!"

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I have spent the day trying to figure out what words I want to write.  Today started as an ordinary day.  Had to be to work early, no problem. While giving my morning staff person a break hubby appeared behind me.  Words had escaped him.  His eyes were sparkling a brilliant red.  He was holding the desk for support.  He didn't need words, I understood.

One of his dear friends left this earth today.  I am sure there was a grand home coming when she arrived, with her husband there to greet her.  I can almost imagine it as I sit here tonight.  Heaven called an angel home.  Those left behind, though celebrating her home going, were left hallow.

She lived the kind of life that could only be summed up one way...

“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout …

Where were you???

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Looking back through hazy memories, Alan Jackson singing "Where Were You" rattling in my mind, I remember...

Do you remember where you were when the world changed?  I do.  I felt like I was in a front row seat to watch that profound change.  I wasn't in the USA, I was on a military base, tucked in tight beside an international airport. I watched from thousands of miles away and lived it first hand, as for the first time in my life I lived on a base that was in Threat Con Delta. Our world froze, we didn't experience that when the bomb went off on our base just a few years before. 

I had just gotten home from work.  My son was watching cartoons, I was chatting with family in the US on instant message. Within the blink of an eye cartoons were gone, son was furious, and my ex and I sat there in stunned silence.  My ex was on vacation, kicked back in his recliner, he always took the first week of football season off.  The first words he said to me, "my vacation is o…

Celebrating The B's!

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Maybe I should have read my horoscope yesterday, it might have warned me it was going to be one of those days.  The ones where you chase your tail and run as fast as you can to get absolutely no where.  Because it sure was!

I try hard to stay focused on days like that.  Making detailed lists and working through each step.  I struggle sometimes when I get overloaded like that.  My brain wants to shut down and quit working.  It starts to mix things up, or simply forget about them completely.  On days like that... it is everything I can do to simply maintain.

I think I would be completely lost without The B's.  They are more than administrative support.  They sense when it's one of those days.  They effortlessly keep things together so that even though I am melting down slowly, they seem to be the only two that know it.  Papers that I have misplaced will miraculously reappear. Stuff that I have printed and in my haste forgotten seems to have legs to arrive at my desk.

When my …

Making Progress!

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I am sitting here listening to a combination of the cicada's winding down (they have been really bad this year) and Kirk Cameron subbing for Glenn Beck.  Wow... that is pretty much all I can say about this man.  Hard to see the old sit com star behind the man he's become.

I have been working on hats all day long, seems God had a chat with Mother Nature and she arranged for lots of rain and thunderstorms.  I didn't have to feel guilty about needing to work on things for the craft show.  I was given a pass. 

It's been a very productive day!  In fact it is scary how productive it has been.  My fingers are a bit tired, but my stress has gone down so much. Hubby sweet talked me into going out with him for lunch. I was hesitant... That three hour tour from yesterday kept popping into my mind.  But I decided I could throw my yarn and needles in my purse and head out.  Thanks to the rain I would be able to work on my projects between travels.

We had a great lunch, with lots of…

A three hour tour...

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A three hour tour... Anyone else remember the theme song to Gilligan's Island?  It's pretty much sums up how yesterday started...

Just as the sun was rising hubby and I set out on a mini-adventure.  Breakfast at White Knight in St. Louis, and if you have never been... well you simply have to! It's an original greasy spoon, a small little piece of days gone by (it even played a role in the movie The White Palace with Susan Sarandon - but I have never seen it).  We had an amazing breakfast, lots of interesting conversations with the folks around us. How can you not when you can reach out and touch all of them?

Then we were off... Wentzville here we come.  The folks that traded us the bike for the property discovered that in all the chaos (caused by she who will remain nameless) that I had forgotten to sign the title on the trailer.  So we agreed to meet in the middle... All together the entire trip should have taken us about three hours.

Note I said should have...

By the ti…

It's a start...

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Struggling to wake up this morning... Last night was short.  Hubby and I went into St. Louis at midnight to pick up the traveling man.  The train station is in a slightly iffy neighborhood, it isn't bad, but as it's in a semi-remote area in the center of downtown and near the metro link.  It has the potential for hoodlums to act up.

Luckily his train was early and we had just pulled into the parking spot when he arrived.

As I am not a nighttime person... today is going to be a struggle. And I would do it again tonight.

Sipping my coffee, watching hubby play with the boys, and planning ahead, I have a lot to do this weekend.

And fun I want to squeeze in around it all.

I finally committed to the craft fair.  I have a lot to get done in the next month! My goal is to have at least 100 hats, soaps, dish cloths, and maybe even a quilt ready for demo.  I also have a quilt that needs to be quilted, I have got to find time to get that done this weekend.  Then I have two hats to get fi…

learning to let go...

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It's so hard to watch your children grow up.  It's hard to stop being mommy.  Wanting to protect them.  I just watched my youngest board a train.  He's heading up to Chicago for an interview.  I struggled with it. 

I am so excited for him.  I am a bit of a Polly Anna and I am very optimistic for him. I want the best and I want him happy.  I know in my heart that he is going to do just fine.  Whether this ends up being the career path he follows or not it is an awesome journey to watch. He is still searching for that place that feels right, wow I hope he doesn't take after me and still be searching in his forty's....

I don't know why it was so hard to watch him walk down that hallway.  It's something I personally need to work on.  I felt guilty that he didn't have breakfast, worried that he'd had enough sleep, I was fretting about a million things.  I am extremely proud of him! I don't know why I worry.  I don't need to.

He's a grown man…